Really getting FED up!!!

Scherrie Tappin
on 2/9/13 5:42 am - CT

I know, I know, I know. 

I am about 23 months out and I have about 33 pounds more I want to lose before I reach goal

I've gotten down to 173 twice and the next days and weeks right back up to various numbers but no more than 177.

What the HECK!!

I an OH group for accountability and post regulary.

Honestly, I getting worn out with this up and down! Today I am actually depressed!! I really don't know what else to do.

Advice PLEEAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! 

        RNY 5/25/2011                        
Tt165
on 2/9/13 5:48 am - West Terre Haute, IN

Get rid of your scale. My surgery date-12/13/2012. I've been on the scale once since leaving the hospital and that was at the doctor's appointment. 

Focus on the positives...

 

 

Carpe Diem:)

Scherrie Tappin
on 2/10/13 4:16 am - CT

I was off the scale for the longest until I went to see my surgeon and he told me it's a good idea to weigh myself daily to make

sure where I'm at always. 

I've been focusing on the positives and of course there are many, for which I am happy, thrilled!

 

        RNY 5/25/2011                        
Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 2/9/13 6:33 am - OH

Unfortunately, at 23 months out, your caloric malabsorption is pretty much gone, so you are fighting basically the same battle as before your RNY.  The advantage that you still have, though, is that you do have the small pouch to help you feel full with less food.  I sounds to me like your body is happy where it is, and short of eating much less and/or doing a lot of additional exercise, the scale isn't going it move much.  

How tall are you?  Are you sure that 140 pounds is a realistic goal weight for you, given your age, weight history, and body characteristics (bone structure, muscle mass, etc)?  Sometimes people somewhat arbitrarily pick a goal weight that isn't realistic for them and then get frustrated when they cannot force their odd to reach that number.  Do you know what your body fat percentage is?  That is the best indicator of what a healthy body composition is (as opposed to just weight and BMI, which is a straight height/weight ratio that doesn't take actual body composition into account).  The reality is that not everyone gets to goal.

if you believe that losing another 33 pounds is truly realistic, then you will probably need to find a way to increase the daily caloric deficit (many surgeons recommend a deficit of 300-500 calories per day to lose weight) to see if you can make it happen.  I don't want to sound like I am telling you that you cannot make it happen, because you very well may be able to do it.  I am just trying to offer a more balanced, realistic outlook that might help you ease your frustration.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Scherrie Tappin
on 2/10/13 4:08 am - CT

Hi Lora,

Yes, maybe 140 lbs. is unrealistic. 

I am 5'5.  My bone structure? Not really sure. I have very small wrist, a doctor once told me if I can wrap my forefinger and thumb

around my wrist, which he showed me, then I'm considered small/medium boned. Muscle mass? 

Truth be told, to just get down to 160 lbs would suffice me.

I just feel like a failure not achieving my goal, and looking at it with fresh eyes, honestly 140 lbs would make me look sickly. 

According to many  people, I'm skinny.

One reason for wanting to lose a little more, is because my BMI still reads "overweight" and that can't be good, right?

So is this why people have revision surgeries?

        RNY 5/25/2011                        
Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 2/10/13 5:09 am - OH

That's why I always stress to my clients and to people here to pick a realistic goal.  You should NOT feel like a weight loss failure just because your head decided you wanted to be some arbitrary, unrealistic number on the scale!  The BMI chart is bull**** as far as detemining a healthy weight.  It was developed in the 1700s when people were MUCH smaller in general, and is just a straight height/weight ratio.  Using that, most athletes (other than track and field, gymnasts, etc.) are overweight, obese, or -- for many NFL players, for example -- even MO!  A friend of mine is clearly overweight (she carries a lot of fat around her midsection) but is very petite with small bones and very little muscle mass, and her BMI is "normal"!!  Please don't let the damn BMI scale dictate how you feel about your accomplishment or your body!!

You probably have an average bone structure, but not everyone can judge that by the wrist.  I have small wrists and shoulders, and average ankles, but the bones in my legs (via xrays) are larger than normal for someone my height, and anyone can just look at me when I sit and see that my knee caps are huge (they are twice the width of my mom's)!  Larger bones add weight, as do larger muscles (and I have very muscular thighs).  I am 5'3.5" tall (if I stand very straight, LOL) and weigh 142 pounds, which is right near the line between a normal and an overweight BMI, but I only have 24% body fat which is considered "optimal" for a 50 year old woman (and my still enormous 36DDD boobs contribute some of that).  I could be depressed because I am a size 10 not a single digit size (and that has, admittedly, been a struggle for me) and some days am "overweight" if I am retaining water or have been snacking too much, but instead I choose to celebrate the fact that I have lost 190 pounds and have kept it off at over 5 years post-op, and have an "optimum" body fat percentage!  Please don't let numbers take away the tremendous sense of accomplishment in the weight you have lost and in how you feel about yourself.

Yes, some people have revision surgeries because they did not get as small as they wanted to be, but more people get them because they regain weight.  Sometimes, though, even with an additional surgery, they STILL don't end up at the weight that their head would like to be.  No surgery can guarantee that you can get as small as you might want to be. (And, of course, you might still lose additional weight if you can increase your caloric deficit.)  We cannot all be the same size bodies any more than we can all wear the same size shoes.

 

Lora

 

 

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Scherrie Tappin
on 2/10/13 5:35 am - CT

Dear Lora,

Thanks for your sound advice. Of course, it does make plenty sense, what you said! I do have very small wrists and small ankles, but don't know about leg and thigh bones. LOL!  I'm just going to do my best at healthy eating and exercising, which I have been doing (not exercising).  I am a wearing some size 8's and primarily tens.

I admire that you are many years "out" and maintain your weight.

Thank you again for sharing your knowledge about many things I didn't know or even think of.

Best always,

Scherrie

        RNY 5/25/2011                        
apurdie
on 2/9/13 2:11 pm - CA

Great response from Lora!

Scherrie Tappin
on 2/10/13 4:18 am - CT

She always has great responses, and very helpfulenlightened

        RNY 5/25/2011                        
chipmunk_roasting
on 2/10/13 4:37 am - Ottawa, ON, Canada

Hi Scherrie,

I am no where near you in the weight loss journey, being less than three weeks post-op.

I do have a request, however;  would you change your text colour from red to black, please and thanks?   It's very hard on those with vision impairment.

Thanks!   Best wishes.

Marilyn

Referral - March 2011 // Orientation - Ottawa - July 8, 2011 // Surgery - January 23, 2013

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