Struggling with my food addiction

HI All,

For a while now, I have been struggling with the food addiction that got me to become obese in the first place. I will eat pretty  unhealthy foods for 3-5 days, and then, when my weight has creeped up to the top of my range (usually around 170, I try to stay in the 160's) I will do a day of protein-shake fast. I feel out of control with food again. I have tried to seek therapy help from OA and from a one-on-one therapist, but it did not seem to help. The therapist I went to didn't seem to think I needed much help. Now, my weight is up to 173 (which really scares me, I will NOT regain this weight) and I am doing a day of fast to get it back down. 

I am contemplating going back through all the different stages of the post-op proceedure (except the week after, with only 1 oz liquids). So, I would do 2 weeks of protein shakes (like pre-op), and then move to phase 2 with 1/4 cup of food, 5x a day, and so on. I want to get back to the feeling of control I had post op, and I don't know how else to do it. I also have been drinking 1-2 glasses of wine at night, which I will cut out now too. 

Does this seem like a healthy way to do it? I have about 20 pounds more I would still love to lose. Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated. Feel like I'm in a rut here. 

Thanks for reading.

Steph

Going back to what you ate in the beginning stages doesn't really seem helpful to me.  I would just go back to what you're supposed to be eating at this stage.  Immediately post op you might have been satisfied or felt really full on 1/4 cup of food but I doubt you'll feel satisfied with that now.  Feeling  hungry and deprived doesn't seem like it would help.  Seems like it would just make it harder to eat healthy.

If the therapist you saw didn't think you needed much help and wasn't helpful, I would find a new therapist.  I think addictions are unlikely to improve much without treatment, although they might for some people.  But not all therapists are good at treating all conditions, and not all therapists are a good match for everyone.  I had to try a few therapists before finding one that was  good fit for me.

In the meantime, I would keep all the unhealthy food out of your house.  It's harder to eat it if it's not around.

Thanks Kelly,

I will try and find a new therapist. I feel like it is definitely something I need to incorporate. I will need to switch in a few months, though, because I am moving to a new city in May. But for now, I could definitely use the help. 

As for the unhealthy food, I have 3 college roommates who eat the SAD diet (Standard American Diet) with a lot of junk included (none of them have weight problems). They don't care to eat healthy, and truth be told, I don't think they know what healthy food really is. So, that's working against me a little bit. 

I feel like I have just fallen back into some bad food habits that I need to break. But I agree that the first few stages probably wouldn't satisfy me like it did after surgery.

Thanks for the input.  

I sent you a pm

I'm with PK...find a different therapist. There are good addiction therapists out there who understand addiction in all it's forms.

One of the "tricks" that the surgery plays is allowing you to do what you have been doing for the last year or so.  You get to a goal weight that might not be as low as you want but seems good enough.  You can get away with eating almost anything you want for about a year after reaching that "good enough' weight.  Malabsorption keeps you from gaining much and if you do, you can get it off in a day or two.

At about 30 months, that ends and the weight stops coming off and starts coming back on.  This is the rebound period and a 20 pound gain is normal.  The only way you are going to get your weight back under control is to face the fact that you are suffering from the disease of obesity and that you cannot eat out of control and still stay slim and healthy.  '

Find a therapist, even if you have to change when you move in a few months.  This is a critical time and in a few months you will probably be seeing 200 on the scale again.  Don't try to go back to post surgery food plans.  That is as silly as telling your overweight teenager that he will go back to baby formula.  Your pouch has grown up and is no longer a new baby pouch.  You need to figure out what foods you can eat and enjoy for life.  That will be different than what anyone else will decide to eat.

For me eating six small meals works the best.  I keep each meal at 200-300 calories. Lean Cuisine meals are a good choice.  Salads are a good choice.  Quest protein bars are a good choice.  Half of a Subway sandwich works well for me.  A burger with only a small portion of the bun fills me up.  One slice of pizza.  A handful of M&M's.  A small slice of cherry pie.  I don't make all my meals healthy or boring, but I do face what I am eating and count the calories.

Weigh****chers is an excellent place for you to learn eating habits that keep your weight off and are still realistic.  I have absolutely no cravings and allow myself some of whatever I want to eat.  There are no more "healthy eating'' vs ''unhealthy eating'' days.  I just eat anything I please but still am aware of the calories and that if I eat too many calories I will gain weight. 

 

Hi White Dove, I am 6 mos post op and already worry about the Honeymoon phase being over.... I have a question though, when the malabsorption stage ends, does the things that we cannot tolerate now go change?  I can't do very much sugar or carbs, bread, starches etc... and that is ok for the most part.. I am just wondering if I can't stand the way I feel eating those things now, will that feeling stay with me?  What has your experience been with this?  I thought I would miss eating bread and starches soooo much, but I really don't....   Thanks...

I can tolerate almost any food now, but really don't want much of anything.  I have only one time gotten hungry since surgery in 2007.  That was after nine hours with no food or drink.

As long as i eat my small meal/snacks every three hours or so, I do not get any kind of hunger.  I will sit down to a plate of food, take a few bites, and put the rest away for another time.  The honeymoon lasts about 18-30 months.  Best preparation is to lose 10, 20 or 30 pounds under goal and then have that cushion for when regain happens.

It really is the nature of the beast...the addiction.  The worst part of the addiction is the self-loathing that accompanies it.  You're doing something now that you didn't do before - you're posting here and knowing that you're not alone in it.  It isn't always about the food, is it?  Thinking of you and glad you posted.  I've done the same and it's helped.

I agree with everyone.  Stay with the forum and respond to others posts daily.  Being of service to others can help!