6mths.....my defining moment
Summer before last we took our vacation to the Pigeon Forge, TN. I weighed 260lbs and while I walked ALOT, I hurt the whole time. I was still in denial and told myself I was fine. One day we were driving from PF to Gatlinburg and in between there were a couple of trails along the roadside. One of them was a little more than a mile long and led up to a waterfall. Even though it was at an incline, it wasn't SO steep, I felt I could master it with no problem. So we, my hubby, 15yr old son and 7yr old daughter, and I set off. It didn't take long for my legs to start hurting but I pushed on. Then, I couldn't catch my breath and I wasn't even HALFWAY!!! I had to stop...STOP at not even halfway. My husband decided they didn't have to go on and I insisted they did..so they did. I sat there on the side of that trail and cried (I still cry today thinking about it). I cried for all of those years that I've had to sit out, the fat mom who sat on the sidelines, the woman who hated her body and I vowed right then and there that that was it...no more! That was THE breaking point for me and I called the surgeon's office that Monday after we got back. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago during spring break. We took our vacation to Breckenridge and Colorado Springs and as on any vacation, we walked ALOT. We must've walked 1,000 miles up and down the mountains in the snow. There were several times during the vacation that my husband and I would comment that I would not have been able to do certain things a year ago but THE defining moment was when we took my daughter sledding. I walked up and down a steep hill for 2hours and I sled. I stood up on that hill and almost broke down and I thought "I may not be able to eat a hamburger, or donuts or a loaf of bread but I can damn sure sled with my daughter" That, my friends, is worth every sacrifice I've had to make. I promised myself that day to not ever go back to that girl on the side of the trail in TN...to never again have my kids think "oh yeah, that's when mom had to stay behind". I will be present!!
on 3/27/13 11:55 pm
Thank you. That was very inspirational and brought me to some of my own broken moments. I have another 2 months till surgery. I told my 16 year old son that at my goal weight I'd only weigh about 10 lbs more then him. He said MOM! can we take a picture with us both in your pants! I laughed!. He is the one who always says "Your not fat" or " Mom your fine" I know he's full of it but it sure is nice when your kids want to protect you like that. He is the youngest and I haven't been able to "play" with my kids the last few years. Amusement parks use to be me riding with them now I walk around with my husband and they ride. Funny thing is it happened right when they would want to run off by themselves so they never had to witness me not quite fitting in the ride anymore.
Thanks...I have had moments of fear but mostly excitement. That was a moment of inspiration and I NEEDED IT. Thanks!
Your son sounds AWESOME!!! My kids have never said anything about my weight...well, not intentionally anyway. One time I was on a diet and my daughter, who was I think 4 at the time, said "Are you going to get skinny like so and so's mom" Ouch, that one hurt! Or she'd point out people who she thought I looked like and they were short, fat people lol....but it was true. It's so great when we have the support of our families. You hang in there because it is all worth it...All the liquid diet, the insurance hoops, the vitamins, the emotions....every bit worth it! Good luck to you!
I am sure I will cry the entire day when I can finally ride rides with my family!
This brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to the exhausting vacations before WLS. The last time we went to Disney (2004) I couldn't do the things I wanted without resting. It's on our "to do" list again next year. I'm planning a vacation to San Antonio this summer with my boys (Seaworld, Fiesta Texas, River Walk and Schlitterban). We are ALL super excited!!!!
Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05
9 years committed ~ 100% EWL and Maintaining