Surprising NSV
NSV
This week I attended a large training session with about 40 people, most of whom I hadn't seen since January and none of which know I had surgery. (And no one asked what I've been doing either) So, between the chopped off-ed, blonder hair and the 80 pounds wt loss, I looked different enough that several didn't recognize me. I have to admit that was fun to hear the compliments about my new hairstyle but that wasn't the real NSV. The NSV was how I moved around the crowded rooms, interacted in crowds and just my overall lack of awareness of where my body was at all times. Until this morning, I didn't recognize just how much time, effort and worrying went into planning my every move in the past. What was the most likely route out of a restaurant that I could manage to get through without embarrassing myself? Where could I sit on an end in theater type seating so the "overflow" of my body don't encroach on a coworker? The list goes on and on but on my drive home today I realized that I was not mentally exhausted from micromanaging every movement to minimize the impact of my size and avoid embarrassment. And, for the first time since I moved to my current career 15 years ago, I wasn't the largest person in the room.
The saying goes that they operate on your stomach, not your brain, but boy is your brain going to have an interesting journey along the way! I just didn't realize just how much and how pervasive my compensating for my size really was. I'm still shocked that I wasn't aware.
This week I attended a large training session with about 40 people, most of whom I hadn't seen since January and none of which know I had surgery. (And no one asked what I've been doing either) So, between the chopped off-ed, blonder hair and the 80 pounds wt loss, I looked different enough that several didn't recognize me. I have to admit that was fun to hear the compliments about my new hairstyle but that wasn't the real NSV. The NSV was how I moved around the crowded rooms, interacted in crowds and just my overall lack of awareness of where my body was at all times. Until this morning, I didn't recognize just how much time, effort and worrying went into planning my every move in the past. What was the most likely route out of a restaurant that I could manage to get through without embarrassing myself? Where could I sit on an end in theater type seating so the "overflow" of my body don't encroach on a coworker? The list goes on and on but on my drive home today I realized that I was not mentally exhausted from micromanaging every movement to minimize the impact of my size and avoid embarrassment. And, for the first time since I moved to my current career 15 years ago, I wasn't the largest person in the room.
The saying goes that they operate on your stomach, not your brain, but boy is your brain going to have an interesting journey along the way! I just didn't realize just how much and how pervasive my compensating for my size really was. I'm still shocked that I wasn't aware.
HW - 319, SW - 303.5
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