Getting closer to surgery date...family and friends starting to question if I should do it!

Surgery date is getting close ( if all goes well). Im about 19 days away. My husband who has been 100% supportive is now starting to seem more concerned, along with other family members. They feel as though people that have had the surgery look sick, or frail. And that Im so young, what could go wrong afterwards. I try to explain to them what I go through on a daily basis with arthritic pain, thinking about my weight all of the time, being uncomfortable in my own skin, losing self confidence, not being able to do so many things that I should be able to do. What can I say to them to make them feel more at ease? This surgery is scary, its changing the way that we were originally built, but its also scary thinking about how much more weight I could gain and how many years I will be living with the pain in my knee's and back. Any helpful words of wisdom would be great : ) * Im 35 years old and have around 100-120 pounds to lose.

I had the same issue with my mom and dad. The weeks leading up to the surgery they were really worried. I just explained that I had done my research and I knew without a doubt this was my path. They seem better now and I am 2 weeks post op.

How are you doing 2 weeks post op? I have seen alot of people that regret it the first few weeks, but soon after forget the pain. They start wondering why they didnt do it sooner  : )

I honestly feel great. I am down 16 lbs. I have not had to take pain meds in about a week. I am walking. I still get a little tired but that is to be expected after surgery. I go for my 2 week follow up tomorrow and hopefully get to advance to a soft food diet. My only real issue has been constipation. Oh and stuff smells weird. Lol other than that I am good and I never one regretted it.

I am 34

I would look at the before and after pcitures of people and show them how good they look.It is a major step.I would look back at why you wanted the surgery in the first place.I have made a list of things that I am goinr Or just be able to walk the steps and not make excuses of why I had to stop. I would totally look at some of the ladies and gentleman that have had the surgery.I am scared but excited.I think you need to just tell them if you have made up your mind to do this that you can do it and feel great.Look at one of the ladies Dee-***** it is she looks amazing.And so healthy.Best wishes. 

I think thats a great idea. I've used my 6 months ( diet documentaion, etc ) wisely with this forum, education, and even youtube watching different people telling there story. Ive seen so many people that have showed there before and after pics and I agree with you they look AMAZING, healthy and happy. Im hoping to be like that really soon : )

I am hoping also.I can't wait I know it's not easy.But it is way better than watching our lives pass us by where everyone else is having fun.We are the ones taking the pictures instead of being in them.Best wishes to you. 

 

I don't think all people that have had RNY look sick or frail.  I'm guessing they've seen plenty of people that had RNY and they just didn't realize the person had surgery because they looked perfectly normal.  But even if all people that have RNY look sick or frail, would they rather you look fat and unhealthy?  Even more importantly, would they rather you look fat and unhealthy and also BE unhealthy, or look sick and frail but actually be healthy?

I don't know what would help them feel more at ease.  Maybe show them some photos on this site of people that have had RNY and that don't look sick or frail?

If they are concerned about possible complications, you could show them statistics that show how rare those are.  But if their main concern is how you will look, I guess I'd show them pictures of people that had RNY and look healthy and fit.

So my surgery is on Monday. My Husband is the same way, super supportive. But his nerves about it are freaking me out. I know he just worries but he knows I did my research. My Mom is acting rather strange, she keeps saying oh we gotta do this and that before your surgery, like I'm dying or something. It's really strange how she is acting. I know this is the best for me and I'm young, 28yrs old and I want to not be in pain everyday. Keep your head and be confident in your decision!