Been awhile...now Im back for some advice

I had my RNY in 2011 and began with a weight of almost 300 lbs, I went all the way down to 180 and stopped. Now I kind of stick aroud the 185-187lb range. Now I seem to have  found this 5lb cushion. I am terrified to go over 190...I have noticed that I can eat more now ( still not eating sugary foods though) but still not exorbitant amounts ...Is there a way to shrink the pouch back down or have I failed? I am scared it has stretched...is it common to put back a few lbs once youve plateaued? Please give me some good sound advice if youve been post op for awhile...thank you all so much...you are the only crew who can understand where I am..

The only way to shrink it would be to have surgery to make it smaller.  But it probably hasn't stretched.  It is rare for it to stretch.

Why do you think you've failed if there is no way to shrink your pouch?

Maybe it is in my head but I feel like Ive gotten fatter...The scale hasnt really moved except for within that up and down of 5lbs but it is really making me feel like I failed..I never expected to be the person who went down to a size 5 but I am so scared because of that 5lbs...and that i never broke the 180 mark..I'm just scared...I think if I hit 190 I'm going to be sick

It sounds like you need to sort out if you really need to lose more of it you are just feeling "fat" and it's in your head.  Because how you would deal with those things would be very different.

Have you been following your plan, whatever your plan is?  Have you seen your dietician lately?  Do you go to a WLS support group?  If not, I think doing those things might help you feel less scared and more in control.

There is only one way to lose weight, you have to cut calories.  Eating only lean meat and cheese, no white carbs, healthy veggies and fruits, you have to purge all crap from your diet.  You can do it, if I can anyone can.

It is quite common to experience a "bounce back" at your stage. The typical amount appears to be about 20 pounds or so - five pounds is actually pretty great. Either way, this small gain can be handled. You can either maintain your current diet/activity and accept that that is the weight your body is most comfortable at, or you can cut out some of your calories/increase your activity level and continue to lose until you are satisfied with your weight. The good news is that you now have a tool that will always be there for you to help insure your success. While we DO lose some malabsorption, Kelly is right in that it is extremely difficult to actually stretch the pouch. Best of luck to you, my friend!

This makes people mad, but here is the truth of how it all works.

RNY will take off about 100 pounds.  Most people get it at about 250 pounds and end up at 150 pounds.  They maintain pretty effortlessly until the third year.  Then malabsorption wears off and the pouch has reached its full size. 

The pouch starts off about the size of a large grape and ends up about the size of an egg.  Every person and surgeon is different, so no two people's experience is exactly the same.

Bounce back regain normally happens during the third year and is about 20 pounds.  So you net from weight loss ends up at losing 80 pounds.  Everything else is from cutting calories and burning calories.

Surgeons consider it a success if you lose 60% of your excess weight.  For many people that is still obese.  If you want to lose the rest of your weight, then you need to cut out calories and do more exercise.

I have never heard that 100 lbs is the average RNY weight loss.  Has there been a study done that shows that?  I never felt I was "ahead of the curve", yet I lost 175 lbs the first year and lost almost 50 lbs more than my surgeon's goal weight.

100 lbs is not the average loss.  I think it's 65% of excess weight is average.  But how many pounds that is depends on how heavy people were to begin with.  I know there is an OH member that always posts that 100 lbs is average, but it is not.

You've gotten good advice.  What helps me is keeping a food diary daily for about a month and evaluating what you are eating.  It is so easy to forget to eat protein, veggies and fruit first.  Maybe writing every bite down will help - it helps me.

Penny