Body dismorphia-before and after surgery?

SkinnyScientist
on 8/29/14 8:38 am

Hi Folks!

I am writing to find out if this is "normal."  Prior to surgery, I knew that I was heavy but I didn't realize/comprehend how heavy I was unless I saw pictures of myself.  I went to the gym, pursued a career, a love-life, a home and everything else.  

After surgery, I know that I am losing weight, but i have no comprehension of what I look like unless I see myself on pictures. When I look in the mirror, I think I look the same or very similar to where I started out.

 

After todays trip to Goodwill to donate and find more clothes(skirts and pants) that fit this time, I bought my second top in which the tag says size "8".  An 8 is the largest single digit size.  It floors me. I bought a 2 skirts and a pair of pants that are size 10s.  This is the smallest double digit size.

As I launder these garments, and hang them to dry.  It strikes me just *how* small they are. Seriously, if they were just found around the condo, I would have thought that someone broke in and left their clothes. THey do not look like they belong to me, or that they should. IN my head, I feel a size 18 is "me.'  It is a garment size I recognize and gravitate to in the bins.  These 8s just look like they should be someone elses.  They look alien to me, yet they are mine because I tried them on, determined they fit and did not gab and bought them.

Does anyone else ahve this problem?

RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013; 

Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat

Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !  

Price S.
on 8/29/14 9:13 am - Mills River, NC

LOL, I am 4 yrs out and I still look at my clothes and wonder who they belong to. It does get better but still happens.

    LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat  66 yrs young, 4'11"  hw  220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance

Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board.  the Lightweight Board
      
 

SkinnyScientist
on 8/29/14 9:19 am

Thank you!  For a period, I was starting to think I was losing grip on reality.  One loses weight, they will get smaller and this means smaller clothes.  But somehow, there is a difference between academically *knowing* and knowing in ones heart.

 

RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013; 

Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat

Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !  

karenp8
on 8/29/14 9:56 am - Brighton, IL

I have the same issue at times and I am two years out. It helped me grasp it to see myself in pictures with other people so I could compare myself to them. Most of the time now I can see it but just in the last couple of months. You'll get there too!

   

       

Ladytazz
on 8/29/14 11:25 am

I'll never forget years ago I was going to OA and a new person was there and someone asked them what they thought and he said "Those people there are all crazy.  The fat ones think they are thin and the thin ones think they are fat."  Pretty much sums up my life.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

SkinnyScientist
on 8/29/14 1:04 pm

.  Then that makes two of us TAZZ

RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013; 

Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat

Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !  

tdbull
on 8/29/14 3:15 pm - WA
RNY on 08/13/13
Yep. This certainly does sum it all up. Hee hee

Lapband surgery in 2009 -  Revision to RNY August 13, 2013 with gallbladder removal.

HW - (260)   SW - (197)   GW - (135), updated on 1-2-14 to 125lbs  HT 5'5"  Goal reached 3/2/14-revised goal to 120 on 3/9/14   reached 4/6/14             

    

Laura in Texas
on 8/29/14 9:45 pm

Yep. I think it is a coping mechanism when we are fat. Had I really realized how bad I looked when I was 200 pounds heavier I probably never would have left the house.

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

jenorama
on 8/29/14 2:27 pm - CA
RNY on 10/07/13

Body dysmorphia seems to be a common issue that is brought up on this site.  One that really sticks in my mind is a user called MsCalla.  She had an amazing result and posted about the weirdness that she was feeling.  She's not super-active on the site anymore, but she might still read some.  Take a look for her posts and I think you'll find your thoughts echoed.

Jen

KattattaK
on 8/29/14 3:32 pm

After my lap band surgery in 2005, I got down to a size 6 in juniors, and no matter how much my friends told me I was too thin, I still saw myself as overweight and needing to lose 10 more pounds. For me, I know a lot of feeling as if I can never be thin enough comes from my mom who suffers from BDD and an eating disorder. She constantly made me feel bad and ashamed about my weight. I was also in a long-term relationship with someone who made me feel bad about my weight. Needless to say he is no longer in my life! But such negativity wreaks havoc on a person's self esteem and image of him/herself. 

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