fears...

teacherford
on 9/16/14 5:08 am
RNY on 06/09/14

I am down 77 lbs. It is super awesome, and even had a student say to me today that I look different today. He thought it was because I was taller (nope I am in flat sandals and usually wear a little heel). Anyway, the other day I was thinking. I am getting the point of being the lowest I have been since college. In fact when I graduated college 12 years ago, I was in the 250s, and now I am in the 240s. The first time on WW a few years after college, I lost 70 lbs. I got into the 220s and then I stopped following the plan, was diagnosed with a pituitary, and my weight went up and down, but mainly up since that point. I was a skinny minnie until my freshman year of college when my thyroid quit on me, and my PCOS really kicked in. Instead of the freshman 15, it was like the freshman 50. The whole point of this is that there is this underlying fear that I think a lot of us have, that I will hit that lowest point and then it will just all come back on again. Obviously I was never successful at really losing all the weight I needed to. I don't have issues with all the attention I am getting, and I am the happiest I have been in a long time, and my husband who feared that I would leave him when I lost the weight, is giving me even more attention. 

I guess what I am saying is that there is this underlying fear that all of this is for nothing and I am about to go back up in weight instead of down. I rarely if ever eat off plan because I in no way want to have another surgery if I don't have to. It is just every once in a while that thought wiggles in there that you are about to hit the point in which you will be so close to goal, and you won't get there. I have to be really positive with myself. I have to remind myself that I am 14 weeks out and I am doing great. 

On a positive note, we are taking on a foreign exchange student from Taiwan. He will be with us through the end of the school year. Excited, I get my baby fix event though he is 17, and it will take my mind off the fact that we still don't have kids yet. Plus I have so much more energy to give him than I would have 3 months ago, and I was able to go almost 2 weeks without collapsing in bed with a horrible headache, and was able to accomplish so much. So while losing weight obviously didn't cure my brain disease it is giving me more energy and the less weight is allowing my body to deal with stress a little better.

    

HW: 322.8 SW: 305.3 RNY 6/9/14. Preop Loss: -17.5 M1: -22.4 W5: -4.5  W6: -1.6 W7: -4.7 W8: -3.3 M2: -14.1 W9: -2.8 W10: -3.7 W11: -2.9 W12: -3.1 M3: -12.5 W13: -6.1 W14: -3.2 W15: -3 W16: -2.5 M4:-14.8 W17: -4.2 W18:-4.5 W19:-3.6 W20: -0 M5: -12.3 W21:-.5 W22: -4.5 W23:-9 W24: -3.4 M6:-17.4 W25:-2

 

tdbull
on 9/16/14 10:31 am - WA
RNY on 08/13/13
I don't know if we ever get over the fear of regaining all of our weight. I know i obsess over this. I have had some regain this Summer, and I'm now in therapy to help me deal with body image and binge eating disorders. It's a process, but it sounds like you are still on plan. That's great. I now need to detox my body off whites and ugly carbs. It's so hard. The cravings are so strong. Keep up the great work. I think a healthy amount of fear may keep us on plan. Take care.

Lapband surgery in 2009 -  Revision to RNY August 13, 2013 with gallbladder removal.

HW - (260)   SW - (197)   GW - (135), updated on 1-2-14 to 125lbs  HT 5'5"  Goal reached 3/2/14-revised goal to 120 on 3/9/14   reached 4/6/14             

    

(deactivated member)
on 9/17/14 5:34 am

I was drafted into the Army in July of 1969. I weighed 220 lbs. Went to Vietnam. Got out of the Army in 1971 and went back in 1975. I stayed until 1986 when the Army told me I was overweight and had to leave at 215 pounds! You would think with all the exercise and very full days of combat training my weight would not be a problem. I could run 10 miles, felt good, but was overweight. I remember my Mom shopping in Sears and Roebuck for Husky pants. Even the little league and school football teams did not have clothes to fit. I attended College in 1989 to 1993 with a Major in Nursing. During the classes I gained weight and could not finish. This Gastric Bypass for me is my way to finally tell my pea brain  that I am sick and tired of it making me think I am a Fat guy. I am not. I am a wonderful human being that has taken control of my weight and so are you. I may be new to this forum as of today but I have read it before and these people here are real and supportive. Both you and I and others will prosper from our membership here. See you at the places we never could go because we couldn't fit!  

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