Desperate Need of Help

Hi yall, I've posted a few times before, but now I'm desperately needing any advice yall can give me. This month will mark two years that I have been trying to lose the 50 lbs that my surgeon is requiring for me to have gastric bypass. My highest weight was 504, I'm currently at 460. When I saw the surgeon I was at 480 so I have to get down to 430lbs before he will do the surgery.

Here's the problem, I lose 20-25 lbs, get discouraged, and gain all that back. Thankfully I've never gone over the 480, but I've probably lost all of the 300 lbs I need to lose by losing this same weight over and over. I'm at another one of those discouraging points, and all I wanna do is do protein shakes because I'm feeling desperate. I've tried this before though, and I can never hang in there. I've even tried therapy, and that hasn't helped. I keep beating myself up saying that I'm just weak, and I need to just buck up and do it. That's not working either. Just like many of you I've done pretty much every diet and way of eating known to man. Right now I'm doing low fat vegetarian. I think I just get really impatient, and want to see big numbers. When I don't I get discouraged and give up to try something else. Of course, in between I have a couple weeks when I don't do anything so when I start again I have to cover all that territory again.

I feel stuck in a vicious cycle, and don't have any clue how to stop it. I would love ANY advice even if you feel it necessary to be "mean" and tell me to just buck up. I just am truly lost.

Thank you in advance for you opinions. Blessings to you all!

Did the doctor give you a diet to follow?

No unfortunately, they just sent me off with basically, "eat healthy". I've actually called the dietician hoping they'd give me one to follow. Had to leave a message so just waiting for them to call back. :(

I suggest working with a registered dietician to develop a meal plan that will help you lose the weight.  If your surgeon didn't refer you to an RD, I'd find one on your own.  You might want to work with a personal trainer, as well.

My first thought is "Find another surgeon!" One who will work with you to loss what they want you to loss before surgery. Perhaps this isn't an option depending on where you live, your insurance, etc - but that would be my first advice.

If you have a primary care doc that is supportive of surgery, talk to them. Though this might be controversial, mine actually prescribed an appetite suppressant for me to help me loss the last bit that I needed before surgery. She is very knowledgeable about WLS and was supportive of my decision. She felt that doing the script for a short period, for the express purpose of losing weight to make my surgery safer was a good choice. I only took the drug (which I can't think of the name of right now) for like 4 weeks and she monitored me closely - but it was a big help. I was already making life-style changes, but the drug helped me get even a little further, be that much safer in surgery and, honestly, when I started seeing the numbers going down faster on the scale I was even more encouraged to keep things up!

Was it Phentermine maybe? I tried both Qsymia and Belviq last year but the weight loss was minimal.  I had luck with Meridia in 2007 but then the FDA pulled it from the market...eeek.  Scary. 

In 2 yrs you haven't asked for guidance in helping you lose weight?  Who is your doctor?  They gave you no tips to help you.  You have said you lost and then put it back on. Someone must have told you something. I think if you were able to lose the weight already and gave up you may not be ready for the lifelong commitment this takes. I would look in the mirror and ask yourself what you want out of the rest of your life..  If you want health. Eat protein food and cut out the carbs and get moving. Start walking and stop finding excuses.  No doctor is going to do for you if you won't do for yourself. 

Sorry to to be blunt....but it's your health. 

Sorry.. but some of us are not designed to eat low fat vegetarian... I know I could not... Actually I did one time for 6 months....when I was younger and .. gained 50 lbs in 6 months and felt like i was starving...

As I found out - with my system - I am super carbs and starches sensitive... Even post op RNy - I can't eat many carbs or starches.. when I do - I start gaining weight and get really really hungry... I follow low carb - moderate proteins - moderate/high fat  way of eating... but at the same time - I try to eat as natural as possible - forget about chemically processed/manufactured Sugarfree this or that... In my book - artificial sweeteners are as bad or even worse than real sugar...

what do I eat? Meat/fish/eggs and non-starchy veggies,  plus some fruits  (no more than 2 servings a day) and healthy fats like bacon, avocado, nuts and seeds, coconut oil... I don't skimp on fat... it works nicely for me...

I think the suggestions for a dietician and personal trainer are good. The other thing to realize is that you'll stall when losing weight as the body regroups and adjusts. That's just a fact of life for pretty much everybody, so you mustn't get discouraged when loss slows/stops for a bit. So long as you're eating less than you burn, you'll eventually start losing weight again. (I guess you could have some really bizarre issue, but that *should* hold for pretty much everybody.) The other thing is, your body is used to being fat and will strongly resist you losing weight. You might find Dr. Yonni Freedhoff's "Why Diets Fail" of interest, as well as Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit".

Good luck!

Awwww, I'd never be mean and tell you to buck up.  We are all here for the same reasons, because we want to be healthy.  Go easy on yourself, you've got lots of good advice above.  Good luck