My husband and friends have been SO supportive about my surgery.  They've been supportive and encouraging me on every weightloss journey I've been on...gym buddies, diet buddies, etc.  and have seen my failed attempts...so when I made the decision to go for the RNY...it was nothing but positive reaction.  I feel blessed.  However...now I'm 8 days post-op....and kind of floored at the fact both my best friend and my husband separately asked questions that made me think they are nervous about the changes I'm going to have to make...

We often have 3-4 families over for Saturday night dinners...so on the way to the hospital...my supportive husband asked me if I thought my surgery would effect our social life .  He said "you know we are a very social family.  How is this going to affect us...will we still be able to have lots of friends over on the weekends?  Will you still cook for us?"  I was like....we can still have friends over, and I can still cook big dinners...I just don't have to eat it all.

Then in a totally separate conversation with one of my best friends who's a gourmand, as I am...she tells me that she's worried that I'm not going to want to talk about recipes and other food related things.  She said that I'm the friend she likes to talk to about cooking (we both love to cook). 

Its so weird.  I take the plunge to lose weight and get healthy...and the 2 people who have encouraged me the most to do so are nervous about how their lives will be impacted...

its been bothering me...I just had to share.

It's understandable...you have changed your anatomy, and your eating style. But as a former and current foodie, I know that doesn't have to mean you change your enjoyment of good food.  They'll soon learn - as will you - that less food does not mean poorer quality or less variety.  I still have my weekly night out at a top restaurant and love to cook just as much as ever. I just don't eat everything I prepare and what I also greatly enjoy, is that I am perfectly (perfectly!) happy with a whole lot less.  Good luck to you, it's going to be a great year!!  :o)

As nervous as you are about the changes, they are not really sure what is going to happen either. I have found socializing hasn't been a problem, after getting past the initial phase. I had a BBQ in my backyard for about 80 people 3 weeks after my surgery. I only ate a few bites, no one noticed. I also had 3 weddings my first 6 weeks... I survived, even when I couldn't eat. You will all figure it out...

Why does this bother you?  Things are going to change and I don't think it's unreasonable or unsupportive to recognize that and potentially have some concerns.  I asked myself those sorts of questions before I decided to have surgery.

HI... I can speak to this because I WAS the gourmand.

Initially (while you are on shakes and soft foods) your social life MAY be impacted.

Later (around 4-6 months) when you have learned how to eat (i.e. chew to an applesauce consistency, portion size, what bothers your pouch)..life returns to normal (unless you are a dumper).

I was a gourmand then and I am now.  However the quantity of food made and consumed by me has changed because I am one woman in a single household. I doubt it will change that it will dramatically change for you since you are a family.

What DID change for me, aside from the quantity consumed, is the quality of the meal. For example, I dont waste precious pouch space on cheap carbs (i.e. carbs that have no vitamins/ fiber associated for them...which are on the the PCOS "no list" like mashed potatoes).  I buy the more expensive cuts of meat now and consume those becasue I am consuming less of them, instead of vast quanitites of the cheap meats (like hamburger).

As a result, I have put entire cookbooks and magazine lines in storage.  For examples Mrs. Fields "I love cookies" cookie cookbook  and 365 ways to prepare ground beef is no longer worthy of my limited kitchen bookcase space in light of my new lifestyle.

In summary, they think you are a damn good cook, worry about not having your good food again, and may be even worried that you are going to make "new friends" and forget them. I have made lots of new friends as I get back into fitness..but I make sure to not forget the old. My new friends arent "better" than my old friends, they are DIFFERENT and meet a different need/set of interests in light of my new food behaviors/eating patterns.

I think it is pretty normal for people to wonder who things will impact them.  And in these cases, it doesn't sound like they are being unsupportive, they want to support you but also love you and hope their relationship with you will not change.  And their questions are actually questions I've seen here from a lot of people having WLS.  People have posted questions like "my husband and I always go out for a nice dinner on our date night, will I still be able to do that?" and "I have a group of friends that get together and go out to lunch, will I still be able to enjoy my time with them?"  If people having WLS wonder about that, it makes sense to me that friends or family might, too.

I can think of a couple people that have had WLS and are real foodies.  Check out bariatricfoodie.com and theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com.  Having WLS and getting healthier definitely didn't change that for them.

one more thing. THE HARDEST thing is letting others know that you cant eat or drink at the same time.

I still do wine tasting, but the food that is paired with it goes into a tupperware bowl for "solid food consumption."

Waiters/Waitresses/my less informed relatives that dont visit often find this freaky/weird. If I dont feel comfortable with telling the person that I had surgery (and there are some people at work that I DONT feel comfortable with knowing) I just tell them that I am "A Fletcherizer" (it was an actual movement around the 1920s-40s) and I do not mix liquids with foods because "I do not want to dilute my gastric juices because it makes digestion inefficient."

Those people generally get quite happy and content with that answer because it has a name and may be a new religion (She is a Fletcherizer!!!) and a rationale underpinning that they can follow  (she wants to efficiently digest her food. It must be working too! Look at all the weight she has lost!).

THAT problem is solved.

I was revised from the band...and didn't drink when I ate for 5 years (year 6, my esophagus was failing, and drinking was aiding getting the food down, since my esophagus couldn't do it on its own...).

drinking/eating rules with the band were either:  drink before eating; or eat and wait 45 min to drink.

what are the rules for the RNY??  (No one has told me about this yet)

My husand was very supportive also but also had concerns.  We have 5 children and I do the cooking for the family.  I still made dinner every night, I just didn't eat it for a while.  I wasn't able to miss a beat because those kids (and him) depend on me.  It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to drink water while they were eating dinner for a few weeks, but it passed and now, almost 3 months out, things have returned to normal.  People don't notice that I eat less then them as they are too busy paying attention to their own food. 

My surgeons rule is no drinking 30 min before eating or 1 hour after eating...