Had my info session and Dr. Appt is the 13th!! How did you deal with telling people?

I'm SO excited that I can mark one step as done. Since I'm self pay I don't have as many hoops to jump through and last night they said that I could have the surgery by March - which is when I want to do it because I have to work around my job and everything. 

After hearing all of the info last night I am strongly leaning towards RNY due to needing to lose so much. I have only told maybe 4 people about my decision but I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of just putting it out there and if people are judgmental whatever.

How did you guys deal with telling people you were having it done? Or did you wait until afterwards?

I didn't really tell people.  I didn't hide it if it came up but I'm not a huge sharing person.  I think whatever makes you comfortable works.

I told only a few close friends until right before surgery.  People are not so much judgement as they think they need to make a comment other than "Congratulations."  They need to tell you about their friend's uncle's brother-in-law who had surgery and is doing great or regained it all.  Sometimes they say they "worry" about you.  I usually started with, "After months of thought, research, and prayer, I have made a very important decision that I'm excited about and would like to share with you.  I know you'll be happy for me."  It's hard to be negative after that. 

Now that's it's over I tell lots of people.

I like the way you told people before, it sounds like I might want to use that to tell a few people, thanks!

I've told my closest friends and DH obviously. I'm nervous to tell my Mom because she is pretty against surgery in general and I've had a lot of it previously for cancer treatment. But maybe if I frame it like that she will not give me her comments?

I need to tell a few other friends who would be annoyed at me keeping something like that from them but I don't think I'll tell other people until afterwards.

I'm also nervous to tell my in-laws. My sisters in law constantly talk about dieting, they've been on one diet or another since I met them in 2008. We don't see them a ton, just at holidays. Maybe I'll just tell my mother in law who is awesome and then let the others know after the surgery? 

It's just a hard decision for me to share with others but I'm pretty open about everything else. I post on FB about cancer and my mastectomies and reconstruction so it feels weird not to share this...

Anyone I was close to, I told about the surgery beforehand. I told anyone after if the subject came up. There is no such thing as a secret, and I would rather tell people on my terms rather than having them guessing and speculating.

I told people when it was relevant.  I mostly handled it the same way I would any other surgery.  Like, when I had my gall bladder removed and when I had my breast biopsy, I told family and close friends in advance, of course.  I was doing volunteer work at the time and had to take some time off from that and I just told them I was having surgery but didn't go into details.  If someone asked what kind of surgery, I told them.  If I hadn't wanted to share that info with someone, though, I would have just said "You know, it's kinda of personal, I'd rather not talk about it."  After my surgery, when I lost a lot of weight, people sometimes asked how I lost so much weight and I just told them.  I acted like it was no big deal and for the most part, it wasn't.

I told a few close friends beforehand. It helped that some of them had the same surgery previously. I told my extended family 2 days before the surgery. Afterwards, I told people as it came up. I don't hide it, but don't share everything with anyone who asks. So far, the reactions have been positive and non-judgmental. Frankly, other than my hubby and close friends, I don't much care what other people think! :)

I think if you treat it as matter-of-fact and no big deal, that's how most people will respond.

I'm a (over) sharer, so I don't mind telling people.  I told my family, friends and peers and staff at work.  I really had to, because I am a breast cancer survivor, and if I disappeared from work for 4 weeks and then showed back up with a weight loss, people would freak thinking I had a re-occurance.  The responses from everyone have been very positive overall, with just a very few negative ones.  I know the negative responses came from a place of love and concern, so I really didn't mind.  I just explained why I had made the decision I did, and that was generally the end of it.  

Everyone is different on this subject, and we each have to make our own decision about what is right for us.  There is no right or wrong answer to this.

I've told EVERYONE that I'm having surgery.  I even started a blog with a pretty much day by day account of what is going on.  Why?  Because I want to be visible for people like me who were looking for someone to follow during the process and really get a good idea of what the process was like.  I didn't have anyone close to me who had gone through this.  So I'm putting myself out there.  Everyone has been extremely supportive and I haven't gotten any negative comments.  But I know I'm not the norm.  Put yourself out there as much as YOU feel comfortable.  When I first started this I wasn't going to tell a soul.  But I changed my mind.  If you feel comfortable putting yourself out there, give it a shot!

Maybe I'm an over sharer also.  I told me entire team at work.... because I did not want anyone to think the worst if I was out 4 weeks and came back losing weight.  I've told friends, close family, my myfitnesspal group.....I'm not telling everyone, but when asked what's going on, I've decided to share.  People can think I took the easy way out (although we know differently); or they can think whatever they want.  I'm doing what I need to do to reclaim my life and get healthy.