Spouses

Hello,

I am about a month Post-op and have already had some dramatic results (that includes pre-op weight loss).  My Wife has also lost considerable weight on her own, we live in a much healthier house and it is great, she makes it very easy for me. 

The issue is that she is very jealous of my results, I have stopped weighing myself, the number means nothing to me and only frustrated her (she was happy I am healthier, but disappointed when she hits a stall and I am not)

She has lost about 40 lbs since Sept and even though she looks fantastic, her clothes don't fit, and everyone has noticed that she looks significantly different, she doesn't see the results in herself.  She still thinks she is huge and what she has accomplished is no biggie, she only sees that she has more to go. 

It gets a bit frustrating, how have you dealt with spouses, any suggestions on how I can get her to see how great she is doing? anything that I should be doing to support her?

Hello,

I am about a month Post-op and have already had some dramatic results (that includes pre-op weight loss).  My Wife has also lost considerable weight on her own, we live in a much healthier house and it is great, she makes it very easy for me. 

The issue is that she is very jealous of my results, I have stopped weighing myself, the number means nothing to me and only frustrated her (she was happy I am healthier, but disappointed when she hits a stall and I am not)

She has lost about 40 lbs since Sept and even though she looks fantastic, her clothes don't fit, and everyone has noticed that she looks significantly different, she doesn't see the results in herself.  She still thinks she is huge and what she has accomplished is no biggie, she only sees that she has more to go. 

It gets a bit frustrating, how have you dealt with spouses, any suggestions on how I can get her to see how great she is doing? anything that I should be doing to support her?

First, it's not fair, but it is true:  Men lose weight faster than women do.  There's not a darned thing you can do about that.  

Just continue to be supportive without being a food nazi or something like that.  Encourage her to dump her scale.

Take her shopping to get better fitting clothes.  Goodwill or Salvation Army are  great for that.  

Encourage her to take measurements--often when the scale stops moving the body is actually shrinking.  Being able to see concrete number results can be very reassuring.

Get her on this site so she can vent to others who can give her feedback.  You can't do it all.  

Buy her some flowers.

I love your message, and I double love how the only question you had was how to better encourage and support your wife's weight loss efforts.

My husband and I were both 400+ pounds. He says, "hmmm, i think i'll try to lose weight" and the weight runs away scared, haha. He is now down to 369#. And I am super super happy for him.

I weigh 432#. Had my RYGB 1/8/15, and now weigh...hmm, whats that? oh yeah... 432#. LOL. I know its temporary. But this sums up weight loss struggles in my house, lol.

Now, add the fact that society really doesnt give a buttcrack about how much a man weights, and yet scrutinizes a woman's weight into being her entire reason for living.... yeah, a bit of a problem there. No wonder your wife might be feeling some pain there.

I was super jealous of my husbands good results with the scale. And he was super happy, and I love him - and want him with me a good long time - so I was super happy for him too. But its hard not to feel that jealousy when "a woman's size determines her worth". I mean who WANTS to be worthless?

Any prespective added?