My Mother is worried

helionoftroy
on 1/13/15 5:26 am - Lexington, SC
RNY on 03/23/15

My mother has asked me several times in the past few days if I was sure about having WLS. One of her co-workers had it done 15 years ago and regrets having it done. This woman told my mother all the complications she has experienced and that she should talk me out of having surgery. Every time I see my mother she stands there, wringing her hands, begging me to rethink my decision. She says there are all types of complications, I won't be able to absorb vitamins, I'll gain the weight back, I'll be sick all the time, blah blah blah.

I've tried to reassure my mom. I've told her I've done a lot of research on both RNY and the sleeve. I am sure this is what I want and feel it will save my life. Granted, some people do experience severe complications but most people don't. I've told her that I am aware of problems that could occur. I'm aware of malabsorption and understand that I will not be able to eat the way I am used to. But, that's the whole point. I don't need to be eating the way I do now. 

My question, or poll, is: *****grets having surgery and why? Who does NOT regret having surgery, and why? I figured, statistically, more people do NOT regret having WLS, even with some side affects.    

lynnc99
on 1/13/15 5:59 am

Your mom is worried but not able to see the whole picture. The risks of morbid obesity are great - that's why it's called "morbid" obesity. It is loaded with life threatening complications of its own. 

Comparing today's surgical techniques to those of 15 years ago is apples and oranges - if you are able to have a laparoscopic procedure, your recovery will be very different from what your mom is expecting. 

I have no regrets and I am over 5 years out. I do have to watch my weight very carefully because I know regain is a possibility. But I have had no related health problems or complications at all. I take vitamins daily. I've learned to enjoy exercise classes at the gym. Honestly, I would not have the job I have today if I were still over 250 lbs. I have more confidence. My kids are proud of me. And life is good indeed...

 

Mary Gee
on 1/13/15 6:16 am - AZ
VSG on 05/14/14

Lynnc is right - WLS is totally different 15 years ago.  I think at that time is was "open" surgery - now it's laproscopic.  Entirely different.  There's more danger getting in your car to drive to McDonald's Drive Thru (which you won't be doing post-op!).

Mothers all worry - she'll be thrilled when she sees your success!

       

 HW: 380 SW: 324 GW: 175  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(deactivated member)
on 1/13/15 6:27 am

No regrets at all. I sometimes wish I could eat whatever I wanted but then I would have to worry about sitting on furniture and breaking it.

Maybe take your mom to your next doctors appointment that may make her feel better.

I cleaned the bathroom floor on my hands and knees I could never have done that before.

kayleystar
on 1/13/15 6:29 am
RNY on 01/06/15

My husband was worried about me going and having surgery done. He was 100% supportive, just voiced concerns over complications, and really that I would die during surgery. I told him there was more of a chance of me getting hit by a car on the way to work and dying than during a lap RNY by one of the best surgeons in Indiana. 

I think you should sit down with your mom and let her know exactly what the surgery entails, and the aftercare. Make sure she knows that YOU know how you'll need to take care of yourself after surgery.

Highest Weight: 412 | Day of Surgery: 385 | Current: 341
Surgery Date: 1/6/2015 

    

  

helionoftroy
on 1/13/15 6:55 am - Lexington, SC
RNY on 03/23/15

Thank you everyone who has replied. I did have a heart to heart with my mother. She seems to feel a little better about my decision. I believe that time will ease her mind. I feel very strongly that I am making the right choice. I start my pre-op diet February 10th and then we play the insurance waiting game. My insurance requires 6 months of weight loss management classes....during that time I have done plenty of research and have read almost every post on obesity help. I am ready!!!  

Han Shot First
on 1/13/15 7:04 am - Flint, MI
RNY on 10/06/14

It's a major decision, so it's good for us and our close ones to be concerned, but you've done your research, and you see (like most of us) that it's worth it.  If your mom is online, share the resources you've found, and even have her check out this site.  

I'm only a little more than 3 months out, but no regrets at all.  My life has already improved.

--

150 lost and maintaining!

HFA70
on 1/13/15 8:16 am

My mother was the WORST!  The woman who had Never weighed over 100 pounds her entire life.  She had heard of one other person who had wls and although had some complications has never regretted having it done.  I am down 124 pounds,  past goal and loving life.  I have no regrets. 

Good luck

        
Tracie G.
on 1/13/15 10:00 am
RNY on 01/21/15

I know exactly how you feel.  My mom has been against me having surgery from day 1.  She is traveling 7 hours to be there during my surgery to show her support and to be there for me if I need her, but I promise you this, she does not want me to go through with it.   I have great parents who have always supported me, but it makes me sad that my mom can't be as excited as I am.   I'm sure it will all change when she starts seeing results, but I know she will always worry.  I have my surgery next week, so I can't answer your questions, but know you are not alone!  Good luck with the whole process!

Abby M.
on 1/13/15 10:12 am
RNY on 12/08/14

5 weeks out and no regrets. It's a job but it is totally worth it. I am thrilled with my early success. 

My sister was worried but still supportive. She had a friend of a friend that had a terrible experience but it was also due to him not following instructions. 

    
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