Help!!! Unstoppable downward spiral!

Mandi87
on 5/30/17 7:17 pm
RNY on 12/08/16

I've been avoiding OH for over a month now because I'm so ashamed of myself and I hate having to ask for help. Ever since I've been back from my vacation I haven't been able to get back on track. I know what I need to do and I have all the tools to do it but I'm flailing in the water. Any tips or words of encouragement would be so so SO appreciated and are much needed. I am terrified that I'm falling back into old habits and with just starting the new job and all the stress of home life and marriage issues it's been insanely hard to not use junk food as my go-to coping mechanism. Plus I just found out that I have a kidney infection and passed a stone a little while ago so things have just been bananas and I just started PT again because my whole left side of my body is flared up again so working out/jogging like normal is very limited. Work's been crazy, I have split days off so trying to get in for a visit with my NUT is difficult as well and I'm leaving again for another 6-7 days starting June 6th. I need help bad! I don't want all of my hard work to be for nothing. Stressing out big time! Please give me something to keep me going. I'm starting to feel a little panicked at this point!

CJ On Orcas
on 5/30/17 8:46 pm
RNY on 09/09/16

I am only 8 months out but my advice would be to go back to basics. If you are not logging every bite, do that. If you are not getting at least 60 grams of protein (I noticed you had an issue with red meat a while back) get it in by yogurt, protein drink, or orher protein. Protein first at every meal. Clear your space of everything else. Carbs will make you want more carbs. Drink lots of liquids. Tea, water, whatever.

AMAW is next week. Consider that or C-AMAW... protein will fill you up. You will not have room for junk.

Good for you for posting.

Au_Contraire
on 5/30/17 9:31 pm

I am a pre-op newbie, so can only respond from that perspective. I am, however, very familiar with using food for anxiety control, and offer some techniques which have helped me at various points, in no particular order:

Deep breathing exercises can help to impose calm, at least for a bit, and can do so quickly.

When you think you want to eat something that you know isn't the best thing for you, close your eyes, and vividly imagine that you have just eaten it. Try to imagine all of the sensations and emotions involved. You have swallowed, it's gone, you ate it. Now pay attention to how you feel. This helped me to resist impulsive behaviors, as invariably I felt worse afterwards than beforehand.

If you are battling strong cravings for something which would be destructive, tell yourself you can eat anything you truly want, as long as you wait first. Then set a time limit during which you just wait. It could be a day, or an hour, or even just 15 minutes. You can endure anything for 15 minutes. And when that time is up, reevaluate whether you should eat something you know will lead to more upset, or whether you should set another timer. After a few of these intervals you may find that your craving has lessened it's grip.

Brush your teeth or bleach them, go for a walk, give yourself a manicure or pedicure, take a fragrant bath, play a game, learn a new program, talk with a friend on the phone, etc. - distract yourself, in other wo protein

Eat protein, like the successful old hands here advise. It will be easier if you aren't actually hungry. You can do this.

Wishing you calmness and success going forward.

Grim_Traveller
on 5/31/17 4:17 am
RNY on 08/21/12

Nothing is unstoppable. The first steps are the hardest.

Start by logging your food. Every last bite -- the good the bad, and the ugly.

Then look for a pattern you can change. And things you can cut.

Getting rid of carbs is hard at first. But once you detoxed it will get easier.

Keep checking in. Drifting away again will only make it harder.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

Mary Gee
on 5/31/17 5:07 am - AZ
VSG on 05/14/14

As Grim said, keep checking in. Don't stay away because it only makes it harder. People here are great if you're looking for support and advice.

It is definitely hard to get back on track....I know from experience. I had some major life issues and allowed myself to go off track because I was having a difficult time emotionally. When I finally got through the stressors, I tried to get back on track...with no success for several months. I had maintained my loss for a while, but then started gaining weight.....and that set me in panic mode.

I wasn't able to get back on track myself....so I made appointments with my surgeon, nutritionalist and psych at the Weight Center. All of them were very helpful. I also ended up joining Weigh****chers because I needed the "accountability" of weighing in. Also started counseling. Pleased to say I am back on my program, and I've lost most of the regain...by the end of June I expect to be back down to where I was before, and working towards goal.

I've signed up for the AMAW/CMWAW challenge starting up next week.....another tool to help me.

So all in all, it's hard to get back....but don't give up.

       

 HW: 380 SW: 324 GW: 175  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(deactivated member)
on 5/31/17 5:19 am

Food addiction sucks. Life will always have obstacles no matter what we do. Some days are great and others plain just suck.

Get all of the crap food out of your house. We had the surgery on our stomachs not our heads. I wi**** was so easy that we could just flip a switch.

Coming here and being honest is a good step. Like others have said you can stop this behavior. It is not always easy but it is so worth the outcome of getting healthy and feeling better.

Asking for help is one thing that is very hard for some. I know it is for me.

When I felt like things were going down the toilet I would make a list of things I can do now and couldn't do before surgery. Make goals you want to achieve. For you not anyone else. Putting ourselves first is hard to do. Try to look at the good aspects of your life.

We can really put ourselves in a bad place with a lot of negative talk. Come here daily. I know it is not always easy to do time wise. If you need help ask. If you want to post a NSV post. We all need a boost.

You can get this under control. You are in charge of you. Nobody else.

pammieanne
on 5/31/17 7:05 am - OK
RNY on 05/16/16

Everyone has had great advice so far.

The hardest part will be getting yourself to commit to it.

I like to make a couple of different meals, pre-portion them, and then freeze them in little containers. I bring a few up to work and keep them in the freezer. They don't have to be eaten immediately that way, and they are small enough that I can defrost and heat up in just a couple of minutes. It helps me when I come here to make my menu post to think about what I already have here, and then I just make up my mind and do it.

But that making up your mind and doing it is the hard part.

Join in on the Morning Menu Posts and commit to a menu for the day, and then see how much of it sticks. It really does help me a lot!

Good luck, and I'm glad you came here for help!

Height 5'5" HW 260 SW 251 CW 141.6 (2/27/18)

RNY 5-16-16 Pre-Op 9lbs, M1-18.5lbs, M2-18.1lbs, M3-14.8lbs, M4-10.4lbs, M5-9.2lbs, M6-7lbs, M7-6.2lbs, M8-8.8lbs,M9-7.8lbs, M10-1 lb, M11-.6lbs, M12-4.4lbs

Emiepie
on 5/31/17 7:13 am
RNY on 08/11/14

I am sorry that you are having a rough time. You have received some solid advice already but I wanted to at least throw out some words of support. It's great that you are reaching out for support as it sounds like you have so many things going on. You are worth it and you can do it!

RNY 8/11/14 with Dr. Kelvin Higa PS Lipectomy 4/12/17 with Dr. John Burnett HW291.4/CW165/GW150

Dcgirl
on 5/31/17 7:21 am - DC
RNY on 12/16/13

It's not unstoppable - your brain is very powerful and you can do this!

Rather than let stress bring junk food back in your life, plan and prepare foods that you enjoy and that taste good but that are PROTEIN. For example, rather than reaching for tortilla chips, reach for a pre-made, pre-measured 3 oz of ground turkey with taco seasoning and mexican cheese. The wonderful flavors of Mexican, but wayyyyyy fewer carbs and calories. If pizza is your go to, make a ricotta bake that is cheesy and saucy and meaty. The delicious flavors of Italian, but low carb and high protein. Your stomach can handle endless amounts of chips and popcorn (at least mine can) but I still, at 3.5 years out, get full on dense protein like chicken breast, fish, turkey. And since losing weight is simply eating less calories than you expend, you will do yourself a huge favor by filling up on smaller amounts of protein. It doesn't have to be boring or difficult - make the things you like and jazz them up - a turkey and cheese roll-up with a slice of avocado, or a grilled chicken breast with seasoning...you can totally do this if you eat on plan. High protein. Eating high protein leaves very little room for crappy carbs.

As others have said, don't drift away. This site is fantastic for support. Many of us have struggled with regain so know you're not alone!

H.A.L.A B.
on 5/31/17 8:23 am

Carbs are addictive. The more I eat- the more I want. And my pouch become insensitive to empty-full signals.

I don't allow that happen too often, but when it does... And I am ready for a change - to take control - I take 5-6 days to decarb.

I prepare as m ugh food as I may need - mostly proteins and fats. And drying fort 5-6 days I eat as much and as often as I think I am hungry. Plus I drink a lot of water - or drinks with no sugar (a packet of splenda has dextrose. Dextrose is sugar. Milk had sugar, yogurt has sugar, etc )

Chicken, fish, ribs, steak., Eggs.. Veggies: celery, cucumber, NSA pickles. Mayo, butter, olives, avocado. I eat as much as I want. Typically at day 4 to 6 - my cravings and appetite gets under control and I can not only limit that I eat - but also how much.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

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