Food centred families

Kabeebabee
on 6/8/17 10:28 am
RNY on 06/14/17

Hi. I am going in for my surgery on June 14, 2017 and have been on the Optifast diet for the past two weeks. Recently I was invited to watch a ballet recital for two little girls that I babysit. I normally go so I accepted. Mom and dad knew that I was on the Optifast diet and that I was due for surgery.

When I arrived I noticed that all three girls had very runny eyes and noses and were coughing. I was asked to look after the youngest one while mom and dad went to get the two oldest ready.

After the recital as I was heading toward their vehicle (I don't drive and it was late and quite a distance from my home) I was told that they were going for a bite to eat because the girls were so hungry. I explained that I was on the Optifast diet and could not eat. Mom said "oh come on it only one time and the girls will be really upset if you don't come in." I told her I would come in for a glass of water but then I would have to get home. All four adults ordered full meals and I busied myself with the youngest who was clearly not hungry (the two other girls barely ate either.

After about an hour an a half we finally left the restaurant. Two days later I am suffering with a sore throat and runny nose and have been told by the anesthesiologist that if my cold gets worst they may have to postpone the surgery. I'm not a happy camper.

I am now thinking about how to handle this. My family is very food centric and the majority of our activities have been around meals. My kids (adults) and I quite often have gone out to all you can eat buffets and picnics. My very athletic daughter wants us to now base our gatherings on physical outings such as hikes and sports but my son and daughter in law are not that receptive of this. How do others deal with these types of situations?

Kelly, Ontario, Canada

My Timeline

Three week Optifast diet began May 24, 2017

Surgery date June 14, 2017

Onward and downward

Like this widget? Get your own at ObesityHelp.com

slightlyrocky
on 6/8/17 11:24 am - Titusville, FL
RNY on 05/02/17

My family is that way but I usually do the cooking and I will make sure there are items (meat!) on the menu that I can eat. I really want this fat off me so I'm hoping I can resist temptation. So far I'm doing well (surgery was 05/03). I still cook for my Husband and don't have a problem going off plan. Good luck with your surgery! That was pretty awful for your friends to invite you over without telling you the kids were sick so close to surgery. I was so afraid I would come down with something - a couple girls at work were sick and I was probaby downright rude and I must have used a gallon of hand sanitizer but I didn't catch it. Hope you feel better in time for surgery!

Kabeebabee
on 6/8/17 11:52 am
RNY on 06/14/17

Thanks for the comments. I forgot that meat was a good thing so I will make sure that I can still participate by eating the meat and a tiny bit of vegetables only.

Kelly, Ontario, Canada

My Timeline

Three week Optifast diet began May 24, 2017

Surgery date June 14, 2017

Onward and downward

Like this widget? Get your own at ObesityHelp.com

slightlyrocky
on 6/8/17 12:00 pm - Titusville, FL
RNY on 05/02/17

Get a carb counter book. If you sign up for the Atkins diet online they used to send you a free one. Also take a look at the AMWAW CAMWAW daily diet posts by Daisy (Offical Meat Coordinator) on here. It is going on this week. This is a challenge where participants only eat meat or meat eggs and cheese (I think - I may have it wrong! Newbie so someone please help me out!). Some of their posts are not ony hilarious but informative also. They are doing it this week through tomorrow at midnight.

White Dove
on 6/8/17 11:53 am

I was sick a week before surgery and my family doctor gave me some prescriptions and then had me come in the day before surgery to be sure my nose, throat and lungs were clear. I would suggest you call your doctor.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

oneatatime
on 6/8/17 7:31 pm
RNY on 09/01/17

Hi Kelly,

I'm sorry to hear what was supposed to be a fun night turned into a terrible night for you... with some longer term consequences.

I'll be honest. If that were me so close to surgery, I would have excused myself from the evening when I got there. I have learned these past few years that my self boundaries are as important as other people's. It was very hard to learn, and sometimes still hard to remember.

Your surgery is still a week away. If you're only starting to feel the effects of the cold, maybe you could try some things to stave it off like: getting extra sleep, taking an Epsom salt bath, getting extra vitamin C, etc.

Best of luck!!

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Choose happy.

Opti -10 / M1 -25.5 / M2 -10 / M3 -14.5 / M4 -13 / M5 -10 / M6 -5.5 / M7 -9.5 / M8 -13.5 / M9 -0.5 / M10 -2.5 / M11 -2.5 / M12 +2 / M13 -5.5

Century Club and Onederland in month 7!!

Kabeebabee
on 6/8/17 7:34 pm
RNY on 06/14/17

Thank you for your kind words and support. It's funny that you mention boundaries, it is something I am learning about it my therapy sessions. Self care is definitely we all need to learn and apply.

Kelly, Ontario, Canada

My Timeline

Three week Optifast diet began May 24, 2017

Surgery date June 14, 2017

Onward and downward

Like this widget? Get your own at ObesityHelp.com

oneatatime
on 6/8/17 8:04 pm
RNY on 09/01/17

That's great you're getting the support. Yes, self care is so difficult to learn for those of us (me) who didn't learn it as a child.

Wishing you much success in your journey. You seem to be doing great!!! I hope surgery happens for you on the 14th.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Choose happy.

Opti -10 / M1 -25.5 / M2 -10 / M3 -14.5 / M4 -13 / M5 -10 / M6 -5.5 / M7 -9.5 / M8 -13.5 / M9 -0.5 / M10 -2.5 / M11 -2.5 / M12 +2 / M13 -5.5

Century Club and Onederland in month 7!!

Kathyjs
on 6/8/17 8:04 pm

ColdeZe works great for me or the best advice is to contact primary. I was surprised after surgery how every family event was food. You will get used to it,enjoy the company and a bottle of water . Best of luck, hope you feel better real soon

Maxthecat
on 6/9/17 5:40 am
RNY on 05/02/17

My family is VERY food centered. My parents don't count it as a visit if a meal isn't involved, and often at a restaurant. I had surgery about a week and a half before Mother's Day and my mom was insistent that we go out to dinner. I wanted nothing to do with it but felt obligated because she is my mother. I went and ate the broth of some chicken noodle soup. It was not fun. At that point I realized I need to set up some boundaries. So when I got an invite to my cousins baby shower for 3 weeks post op, I declined. My mom was upset but it was at a place that was a long drive, the food was a pizza bar, and I just didn't know how I would feel. I am really happy I made that decision.

I do go out to eat with my family for events but I do my research before hand to see what I can have and request things like no breadcrumbs, or no butter. I also get a side plate and move what I plan to eat to that smaller plate so I portion properly It hasn't been a huge issue yet. And I will be honest, I love going out to eat. Not just to eat but for the social piece. I don't want to give that up completely so I just need to be smart about it.

HW: 287 SW: 266 CW: 149.2

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