Winter is Coming - when did you realize the honeymoon phase was over?

As a newb, I'm hearing the drum beats of a dark and dangerous future. I think it's good to know that dark times are near, that "Winter is Coming". I now truly appreciate that my weight-loss days are numbered, I need to hit my numbers on target because with each passing month I'll be losing at a decreasing rate no matter (within reason) my intake or my exercise. This knowledge is somewhat apparent in the literature that I reviewed prior to WLS but then it was easy to think that it only represented those who fell off the health wagon. Now I know it can happen to even the most devoted patient.

My question for those who have fallen off the honeymoon phase is three-fold: 1. When did it happen on your WLS timeline? 2. What was the event that triggered you to notice you'd passed to the other side? and 3. How did it impact your life experience (increased hunger, decreased energy, loss of feeling full, gaining weight even when calories were below 1000/day?)

I'm glad I know that the future is going to be dark and difficult, I'm glad I know that there are those who have been able to overcome the odds and remain healthy through this period, but I want to better understand my enemy.

I guess I want to know the various ways it manifests. Is it simply an absorption shift where our bodies suddenly adopt to the RNY? Or is it a metabolism shift? Or hunger hormones that come rushing back? Is it worse than we were prior to WLS? Does this give us a window then make us worse off than we were before?

Thanks!

~Sleeping With A Flashlight

I am almost 14 years post op and I never felt the honeymoon ended. It is harder to maintain than lose but work the plan, no excuses, life will get in the way but find a new way to cope. Protein always first. I honestly never ever feel hungry. I need to eat to live but no longer eat to live . Don't look on the dark side, your life will be forever changed for the better. Best of luck

Amen. 7 years here doing what works. Bless you for being a role model for me!

I dear friend once had the following conversation with her then 18 year old son...

Son: I know, I know...life is hard, no one ever promised me an easy life.

My friend: No one ever promised you a hard life. Life is not always hard. Life is what you make it.

Yes, I am aware that in maintenance I will continue to require to offer a great deal of effort and continued mindful eating. Sure.

Assuming the hordes are falling upon us like a plague from the North? Nah.

Balance in all things. Stay diligent and keep working my plan is my plan. Yes, I also am afraid of regain. Some fear is healthy.

I honestly think that many folks who are successful and then hit 3 or 4 years and stop logging on here...they are living very happy successful lives.

As with all statistics one must look for confounding variables. Many the successful Vets here on OH describe maintenance as terrible or difficult and sound rather glum. Confounding variable = they are all on OH. This factor may be related or unrelated to their personal experiences with maintaining being more like Winter Coming than like regular effortful living.

I read their advice, see the logic, heed the protein first tracking low carb concepts... and I do not accept the fear or frustrated energy I see there. I do not accept that as part of my future. I don't think life has to be hard. I choose joy.

~Elizabeth

I don't see the same things you see, at all. I don't see vets describing life as terrible and glum. Not even a little. I see, universally, people who are ecstatic about having their health back, able to live active, happy lives. Far more active and happy than they were while morbidly obese.

Philosophically, I don't think life has to be hard. Realistically, it is. Life is work, for everyone. Work and effort. I've never met someone for whom that isn't true. Some lie to themselves about it. But they really aren't fooling anyone.

I'm sure there are some who hit maintenance at 3 or 4 years and go along at a healthy weight for the rest of their lives, without issue. I'm also sure there are those that win The Lottery and never worry about money again.

But the truth is, over 90 percent of those that win lottery jackpots are broke within 5 years. And most who hit maintenance at 3 or 4 years end up with significant regain. We see many of them here. Their posts always start with "Hey. I haven't logged in for a long time, but . . ."

Maybe they ended up with regain because they hit maintenance and thought it wouldn't be hard.

And remember, this discussion has been focused on those that reach a healthy weight and start maintaining. We are completely ignoring the majority of people that never even get that far. The average, and surgeon's yardstick for success, is still only 60 percent excess weight lost. Followed by 20 percent regain. That's the average.

Ask those people if they think it's hard.

I second everything you wrote Grim

Thanks for your thoughts, I love the line she gave he son. I'm a big one on the need to accept that life is often difficult but still being mindful of all the beauty and gifts we're given every single day.

"winter is coming..." melodramatic much? "Winter" only comes if you let it. It is all in your control.

Truth.

In a relationship, the honeymoon period is up to both people. In WLS, the honeymoon period is all up to just one person. It's all in our control. For some, the honeymoon goes on forever. For others, it starts falling apart almost right away.

Thanks Grim, this gives me great hope! If I understand you, the monster under my bed is just my own human failings of complacency and denial. If I stay diligent, if I continue to work the plan, I should be able to transition smoothly...