Winter is Coming - when did you realize the honeymoon phase was over?

HonestOmnivore
on 7/19/17 12:01 pm
RNY on 03/29/17

As a newb, I'm hearing the drum beats of a dark and dangerous future. I think it's good to know that dark times are near, that "Winter is Coming". I now truly appreciate that my weight-loss days are numbered, I need to hit my numbers on target because with each passing month I'll be losing at a decreasing rate no matter (within reason) my intake or my exercise. This knowledge is somewhat apparent in the literature that I reviewed prior to WLS but then it was easy to think that it only represented those who fell off the health wagon. Now I know it can happen to even the most devoted patient.

My question for those who have fallen off the honeymoon phase is three-fold: 1. When did it happen on your WLS timeline? 2. What was the event that triggered you to notice you'd passed to the other side? and 3. How did it impact your life experience (increased hunger, decreased energy, loss of feeling full, gaining weight even when calories were below 1000/day?)

I'm glad I know that the future is going to be dark and difficult, I'm glad I know that there are those who have been able to overcome the odds and remain healthy through this period, but I want to better understand my enemy.

I guess I want to know the various ways it manifests. Is it simply an absorption shift where our bodies suddenly adopt to the RNY? Or is it a metabolism shift? Or hunger hormones that come rushing back? Is it worse than we were prior to WLS? Does this give us a window then make us worse off than we were before?

Thanks!

~Sleeping With A Flashlight

5'4" 49yrs at surgery date

SW - 206 CW - 128
M1 - 20lb M2 - 9 lb M3 - 7 lb M4 - 7 lb M5 - 7 lb M6 - 6 lb M7 - 4 lb M8 - 1 lb M9 - 2 lb M10 - 4 lb M11 - 0lb M12 - 3lb M13 - 0 lb M14 - 2 lb M15 - 0 lb M16 - 3 lb

Kathyjs
on 7/19/17 12:57 pm

I am almost 14 years post op and I never felt the honeymoon ended. It is harder to maintain than lose but work the plan, no excuses, life will get in the way but find a new way to cope. Protein always first. I honestly never ever feel hungry. I need to eat to live but no longer eat to live . Don't look on the dark side, your life will be forever changed for the better. Best of luck

AnneGG
on 7/24/17 6:44 am

Amen. 7 years here doing what works. Bless you for being a role model for me!

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach

"Support fosters your growth. If you are getting enough of the right support, you will experience a major transformation in yourself. You will discover a sense of empowerment and peace you have never before experienced. You will come to believe you can overcome your challenges and find some joy in this world." Katie Jay

RNY_elizabeth
on 7/19/17 1:35 pm - TX
RNY on 10/06/15

I dear friend once had the following conversation with her then 18 year old son...

Son: I know, I know...life is hard, no one ever promised me an easy life.

My friend: No one ever promised you a hard life. Life is not always hard. Life is what you make it.

Yes, I am aware that in maintenance I will continue to require to offer a great deal of effort and continued mindful eating. Sure.

Assuming the hordes are falling upon us like a plague from the North? Nah.

Balance in all things. Stay diligent and keep working my plan is my plan. Yes, I also am afraid of regain. Some fear is healthy.

I honestly think that many folks who are successful and then hit 3 or 4 years and stop logging on here...they are living very happy successful lives.

As with all statistics one must look for confounding variables. Many the successful Vets here on OH describe maintenance as terrible or difficult and sound rather glum. Confounding variable = they are all on OH. This factor may be related or unrelated to their personal experiences with maintaining being more like Winter Coming than like regular effortful living.

I read their advice, see the logic, heed the protein first tracking low carb concepts... and I do not accept the fear or frustrated energy I see there. I do not accept that as part of my future. I don't think life has to be hard. I choose joy.

~Elizabeth

Consultation weight: 265, Surgery date: 10/6/15, Goal: 150, Current weight: 129; 5'5, 46 years old

"I am basically food's creepy ex-girlfriend. I know we can't be together anymore but I just want to spend time hanging out" ~me, about why I love cooking so much post WLS

Grim_Traveller
on 7/20/17 2:17 am
RNY on 08/21/12

I don't see the same things you see, at all. I don't see vets describing life as terrible and glum. Not even a little. I see, universally, people who are ecstatic about having their health back, able to live active, happy lives. Far more active and happy than they were while morbidly obese.

Philosophically, I don't think life has to be hard. Realistically, it is. Life is work, for everyone. Work and effort. I've never met someone for whom that isn't true. Some lie to themselves about it. But they really aren't fooling anyone.

I'm sure there are some who hit maintenance at 3 or 4 years and go along at a healthy weight for the rest of their lives, without issue. I'm also sure there are those that win The Lottery and never worry about money again.

But the truth is, over 90 percent of those that win lottery jackpots are broke within 5 years. And most who hit maintenance at 3 or 4 years end up with significant regain. We see many of them here. Their posts always start with "Hey. I haven't logged in for a long time, but . . ."

Maybe they ended up with regain because they hit maintenance and thought it wouldn't be hard.

And remember, this discussion has been focused on those that reach a healthy weight and start maintaining. We are completely ignoring the majority of people that never even get that far. The average, and surgeon's yardstick for success, is still only 60 percent excess weight lost. Followed by 20 percent regain. That's the average.

Ask those people if they think it's hard.

6'3" tall, male. Maintaining a loss of 280 pounds.

Highest weight was 475. Consult weight 04/12 was 411. RNY on 08/21/12 at 359 lbs. Current weight 195.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

Daisydoo02
on 7/20/17 3:21 am - GTA, Ontario, Canada
RNY on 11/15/13

I second everything you wrote Grim

Daisy 5'5" HW: 280 SW: 254 CW: 125 - 130

Nov 15, 2013 - RNY - Toronto Western Hospital

Nov 2, 2017 - Gallbladder removal & hernia repair

Answers to your problems are not at the bottom of a chip bag or in a box of Oreo's! You can do this!

HonestOmnivore
on 7/20/17 6:07 am
RNY on 03/29/17

Thanks for your thoughts, I love the line she gave he son. I'm a big one on the need to accept that life is often difficult but still being mindful of all the beauty and gifts we're given every single day.

5'4" 49yrs at surgery date

SW - 206 CW - 128
M1 - 20lb M2 - 9 lb M3 - 7 lb M4 - 7 lb M5 - 7 lb M6 - 6 lb M7 - 4 lb M8 - 1 lb M9 - 2 lb M10 - 4 lb M11 - 0lb M12 - 3lb M13 - 0 lb M14 - 2 lb M15 - 0 lb M16 - 3 lb

hollykim
on 7/19/17 1:54 pm - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On July 19, 2017 at 7:01 PM Pacific Time, HonestOmnivore wrote:

As a newb, I'm hearing the drum beats of a dark and dangerous future. I think it's good to know that dark times are near, that "Winter is Coming". I now truly appreciate that my weight-loss days are numbered, I need to hit my numbers on target because with each passing month I'll be losing at a decreasing rate no matter (within reason) my intake or my exercise. This knowledge is somewhat apparent in the literature that I reviewed prior to WLS but then it was easy to think that it only represented those who fell off the health wagon. Now I know it can happen to even the most devoted patient.

My question for those who have fallen off the honeymoon phase is three-fold: 1. When did it happen on your WLS timeline? 2. What was the event that triggered you to notice you'd passed to the other side? and 3. How did it impact your life experience (increased hunger, decreased energy, loss of feeling full, gaining weight even when calories were below 1000/day?)

I'm glad I know that the future is going to be dark and difficult, I'm glad I know that there are those who have been able to overcome the odds and remain healthy through this period, but I want to better understand my enemy.

I guess I want to know the various ways it manifests. Is it simply an absorption shift where our bodies suddenly adopt to the RNY? Or is it a metabolism shift? Or hunger hormones that come rushing back? Is it worse than we were prior to WLS? Does this give us a window then make us worse off than we were before?

Thanks!

~Sleeping With A Flashlight

"winter is coming..." melodramatic much? "Winter" only comes if you let it. It is all in your control.

 


          

 

Grim_Traveller
on 7/19/17 3:27 pm
RNY on 08/21/12

Truth.

In a relationship, the honeymoon period is up to both people. In WLS, the honeymoon period is all up to just one person. It's all in our control. For some, the honeymoon goes on forever. For others, it starts falling apart almost right away.

6'3" tall, male. Maintaining a loss of 280 pounds.

Highest weight was 475. Consult weight 04/12 was 411. RNY on 08/21/12 at 359 lbs. Current weight 195.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

HonestOmnivore
on 7/20/17 6:09 am
RNY on 03/29/17

Thanks Grim, this gives me great hope! If I understand you, the monster under my bed is just my own human failings of complacency and denial. If I stay diligent, if I continue to work the plan, I should be able to transition smoothly...

5'4" 49yrs at surgery date

SW - 206 CW - 128
M1 - 20lb M2 - 9 lb M3 - 7 lb M4 - 7 lb M5 - 7 lb M6 - 6 lb M7 - 4 lb M8 - 1 lb M9 - 2 lb M10 - 4 lb M11 - 0lb M12 - 3lb M13 - 0 lb M14 - 2 lb M15 - 0 lb M16 - 3 lb

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