Surgery in 5 days
I was the same. My emotions, once I received my surgical date were all over the map (though I didn't show it much). The night before, I tucked my kids in to bed, and then reality hit in. I had a minor freak-out in the garage where I couldn't be heard because all of the risks came flooding in at once, but calmed down quickly when I realized that I'd chosen this route because of the greater risks of doing nothing.
I can tell you that it was quite a change, a lot to remember, but TOTALLY worth it. I'm not a vet, in fact I'm only 5.5 months out, but I remember not having much pain in the hospital or at home. I have had little to no complications and I'm thankful for that.
Best decision I ever made. You've got this.
Remember, no matter where you go.......there you are.
It's saying goodbye to my 5yr old that is going to break me. I can't let him know anything is wrong yet when I hug and kiss him and say see you in a couple of days, I can't help but think, anything can happen. It could be the last time I see him.. I've never had surgery before. I'm just so worried I will be the one with a freak complication and die. I know it's probably silly.
I can certainly see how it can be concerning to think that. Heck I lived those concerns. I had the same thought, that it could be the last time I see my girls, and leading up to surgery day, I made sure to do a lot of things with them (I usually do anyway), to dote on them a little and perhaps spoil them a little bit, "fill up their love tanks" (a phrase we use in my house to make sure they always know they're loved). The way I looked at it, I could have had problems and not made it through, but if I didn't use this tool, this gift as it were, that I would be in the ground early anyway, and the remaining days up to that would be of low quality for me, and them.
My surgeon has done almost 950 of these surgeries in the past few years, and I think it was less than 1% of patients with major complications, zero fatalities. To think of it that way, set me at ease. Sure, minor complications that can be fixed up can happen after, but I think even that is becoming more rare if the patient listens to their instructions. Modern medicine and practices are pretty awesome, and keep getting better.
It's not silly though, to think what you are and I doubt you'll find anyone here that would say that. It's a pretty supportive bunch here on the forums and they know pretty well everything you'd need to know about the route you're taking soon. Hang on, it's a ride. :)
Remember, no matter where you go.......there you are.
