Struggling w. my head/ head games

on 11/7/17 11:07 am, edited 11/7/17 11:09 am - baldwinsville, NY

I know the RNY is a tool and it does not help the brain with mental and head hunger. I am struggling the old fat girl is trying to win over the new regular weight girl. IT SUCKS. Any support welcomed. I must not be the only one with this problem.

I tried seeing a therapist and all she wanted to do was talk about politics. TO me it was a waste of $100 bucks. I see my surgeon and NUT next week for my belated 2 year check up. I am going to see if my surgeon can suggest someone more related to FOOD weightloss issues. TIA wholeheartedly in advance.

Cecily C.
on 11/7/17 12:54 pm - CA
VSG on 02/22/17

I am not nearly as far out as you, so I don't think I can be of help with your main question, but I wanted to say it can be hard to find the right therapist. Don't let one dud cause you to give up on finding someone great for you. Your idea to ask your surgeon is a good one!

Ht: 6' HWEver: 338 StartW: 282.8 SurgeryW: 268.9 GW: 170 CW: 166.2

Pre-Op:-17 M1:-17.8 M2:-12.2 M3:-9 M4:-12 M5:-11 M6:-8.4 M7:-10.2 M8:-11.4 M9:-6.8 M10:-7 Goal reached 11/9/17! (37 weeks, 1 day) First plastics (LBL, medial thigh lift, fat transfer to rear) 5/08/18

Kathy S.
on 11/7/17 12:57 pm - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

Sometimes it takes several tries to find the right therapist sadly. This can be a big help if it's an option. We have written several good articles on head hunger, here is a link. Let us know how it goes after you see your surgeon. Maybe you can suggest they address this at the next support group meeting

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

on 11/7/17 1:23 pm - baldwinsville, NY

I think that I am actually going to the next support group meeting bad me has not been to one since before surgery. I think it will help me get my head into the game. Certainly can not hurt at this point.

on 11/7/17 1:49 pm

I think that's a good idea. Maybe take a few minutes to write up or review your list of

  • why you had surgery
  • things you didn't like before surgery (physical limitations, etc)
  • things going well after surgery

and maybe look at it as a trade off. I know there have to be times when you really want to go off track eating (I am having surgery in Jan and fully expect this) but this is just a thought. :)

Kathy S.
on 11/7/17 2:54 pm - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

Good for you! The first 2 years the support groups were key for me. Let us know how it goes

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

Ashley in Belgium
on 11/8/17 3:54 am - Belgium
RNY on 08/08/13

Head hunger is real and it sucks eggs. I am 4+ years out and have developed a few tricks to help me deal with it as I don't experience actual hunger anymore.

Figure out what triggers the head hunger - emotions, need for control, stress, time of day, certain food or smells, etc. Address and or avoid the issues if you can and plan out what you can do instead of eating when those triggers are inevitably tripped. I had a list of things to do along with another list of my fav NSV's taped to my fridge to remind me to stay on plan and focused.

Eat 4 to 6 small meals a day. I had a real issue with wanting to stuff my face during the home from school/work, dinner prep time of the day ie: 4:30-7:00pm. This habit was left over from my pre-op days, but it really messed with my head. So I plan a mini meal between 4 and 5 and will sometimes eat my dinner at 7:30 or 8pm regardless of who is home to eat with me. I can then sit and drink while my family eats, but I have taken care of myself first.

Always sit down at the table to eat. Always. No eating at the counter, while walking around the house or out the door, or in my car. This helps me keep portions in control, I have to pay attention to what I am actually eating and to respectfully treat all food as a meal. I even sit to take/chew my supplements :)

These days I actually need to use my phone alarm to remind me to eat and I don't struggle with head hunger like I did during the first years. I hope you find a therapist who understands your issues with food and that you are able to find some techniques and the discipline needed to stay on track. It's hard, but worth it!

Revision Band to RNY 8/8/13 5'4" HW 252 Lbs / SW 236 Lb / GW 135 lb / CW 127

on 11/8/17 6:21 am
RNY on 08/11/14

I am sorry that you're struggling. For me, honestly, some days are just better than others. I hope you might be able to find another therapist or counselor to talk with. There is a monthly local support group that I attend most months and find it helpful. Another good idea might be to find a hobby to do when your mind needs to be distracted. Keep your head up!

RNY 8/11/14 with Dr. Kelvin Higa PS Lipectomy 4/12/17 with Dr. John Burnett HW 291.4/CW 137-140 (10/2018)GW 150

on 11/8/17 9:37 am - Columbia City, IN

I'm 8+ years out. I find support group and visiting this OH site helpful. I also keep a food journal to stay accountable. I have read many books - click on my name or picture and you can find a list of helpful books.

My favorite is " The Beck Diet Solution". It really isn't a diet book, but a book on cognitive behavior and changing your thoughts that sabotage your efforts. I read it every 6 months or so and it really helps me.

Don't give up on therapy. There are good counselors out there - in person or online.

Best wishes,


Highest Weight 255  * Wt loss includes 19 lb lost before surgery

on 11/8/17 9:44 am - baldwinsville, NY

I am trying very hard to keep a food journal. I am seeing the NUT on Monday doing this journal has triggered me a bit. I feel like I am going to weigh****chers. Sounds stupid but that is how I feel. I have met 2 therapists the first one was a yelling man who looked like Ernest Hemingway and we did not click. Then the lady who talked sports and politics. Definately going to ask my Surgeon if he knows someone when I see him on Monday. I can get throught this. I think I can

The problem is I have too much time on my hands. I only work 2 days a week and my kids are away at college. I think if I get my hind end on the treadmill it will help me a bit. Love all the replies.