I think it might finally be time to do this

on 12/1/18 10:38 pm

Thank you so much. This is all such great feedback. Glad to hear you are in excellent health. Your words motivate me and help alleviate my fears. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

on 12/1/18 9:25 am - DC
RNY on 12/16/13

It's the best thing I ever did for myself! Check out this post from earlier this week which might help alleviate some of your fears as well!


on 12/1/18 10:39 pm

Thank you! I will keep reading and learning. Looking forward to getting to know the "regulars"

on 12/1/18 3:12 pm
RNY on 06/03/15

"...my options are to stay this weight or have surgery"

I think a lot of us on here can relate to almost everything you said in your post. Regarding the above quote - when I finally realized that my options were to "have this surgery or be dead in five years", I finally took action.

I've never regretted it. Should have done it 20 years ago.

btw - lots of people worry about hair loss, but it's temporary, if it happens to you at all. I look back now after losing over 200 lbs and wonder why on earth I spent so much energy worrying about that. It's a blip on the screen. And the saggy skin - yep, I had it. But it was easy to hide (I had plastic surgery because it was driving ME nuts - no one else knew it was there). Besides that, I would take saggy skin any day over weighing 372 lbs again. ANY FRICKIN' DAY!

RNY 06/03/15 by Michael Garren (Madison, WI)

Plastic Surgery 08/10/18 and 03/29/19 by Lawrence Zachary (Chicago, IL)

HW: 373 SW: 316 GW: 145 LW: 138 CW: 150

on 12/1/18 10:41 pm

Thank you. It is so encouraging to hear from people that have been successful and have no regrets. I hope to feel the same.

on 12/1/18 11:10 pm

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond (and I welcome any more responses, I want to get to know the forum members) Your words of encouragement and sharing your experiences have been so helpful. I know if I go through with this that a community of support will be essential.

I am scared I am not ready to put in the hard work. I had kind of resolved that it is my fate to be very overweight. I am not especially unhappy or depressed. I generally enjoy life. But this life I enjoy is so. much. harder. physically than it has to be, than it should be. I feel like I have reverse body dysmorphia (if there could be such a thing). I honestly most of the time think I am smaller than I really am. It is not until I am trying to move through a crowd, or fit in a small space or see a picture of myself that I am reminded of just how big I am. Then of course my knees, feet and back remind me.

I need to stop thinking of this as just weight loss and start thinking of it as curing a disease. If I had cancer and I was told they had to remove half my stomach to save my life I would do it in a heartbeat. This weight is a cancer that is slowly killing me. I truly believe I am as powerless to cure this on my own as I would be if I had cancer. Maybe that is a harsh analogy. Maybe I don't have the right to make that analogy (although I am a cancer nurse, I thankfully have not had the diagnosis myself). But many who have not been where we have been would not understand. I have lost hundreds of pounds in my life, it has ALWAYS ultimately resulted in gaining back up to a new highest weight. If I could even get myself to go on another diet, and if I could even be "sucessful" at it, I have no doubt that in time I would regain the weight and end up even higher than I am now. Dieting (the mentality and the effect on metabolism) are the direct cause of why I am so overweight. I have spent several years within about 15-20lbs of my current weight. I have not yo-yo'd in a while. I have gotten off the roller coaster thankfully but where I landed is taking a huge toll on me.

I believe the statistics show that weight loss surgery is the best chance of maintaining significant weight loss in the long term. It is encouraging to me that so many of you who are several years out are still responding to forum posts and still maintaining your weight loss. Thank you all again for welcoming me and responding.

on 12/2/18 5:10 am
RNY on 02/14/18

It's like you are in my pre surgery head! I felt like I never let my weight keep me from doing things, I was successful in my career, I had great friends, I traveled (with my own seatbelt extender), etc. but I knew it was a heath issue. In the support group I had to attend pre op, I said something along the lines of I'm comfortable, weight isn't holding ME back, it's jusy about my health.

Now, 9 months post op? I know it was holding me back, I wasn't doing all the things I wanted to do (and I certainly wasn't doing ANY of the things I just never looked at because I knew I was not able to do it due to weight).

The health factor is/was my number one goal...but the rest has been an amazing (and some days very sobering but incredibly positive) eye opening experience.

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:144.8 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19), next goal - 130


on 12/2/18 6:58 am

For years I told myself the same thing, that my weight wasn't holding me back. In the last few years as I have had a number of weight related diagnoses and my overall health has declined, I know that is not true. I went from telling myself that my weight wasn't affecting me to just resolving that this is my fate. I am not meant to ever do certain things in life. I would routinely think about surgery and quickly put it out of my mind because of fear.

The first time I saw my MS doctor he did the usual history questions then said "and what about your weight? Have you tried to lose weight?" (Duh, of course I have). I responded that yes, I have dieted off and on my whole life and always regained the weight (and more) back. He said "then you'll need surgery" (I forget his exact words, but essentially that). I burst into tears. It was so matter of fact and I was blindsided. I didn't want to hear it. But I knew he was probably right.

I don't talk about my weight. I avoid the topic. I want to put my head in the sand and pretend this is not an issue. I have trouble even referring to myself as obese or typing the word. But denial isn't helping me and the weight is taking such a toll that I cannot pretend any longer than I am ok. One of the things I am apprehensive about after surgery is all the comments. I know people mean well but I imagine because it is such a drastic change that everyone comments, not just friends but people at stores you frequent, work of course, everywhere you go. I feel uncomfortable even with compliments. It makes me uneasy to have my body be a topic of conversation. I don't know if others can relate to that. It's not enough of a reason to not have surgery, just something I will have to figure out how to cope with and handle.

on 12/2/18 3:28 am - MN
RNY on 11/26/12

Welcome. Your words are filled with positives--supportive family, robust bariatric program, married with children, insurance coverage, and being a nurse. Your question, "is it finally time?" has me cheering you on to stick with the answer "YES." All the Best.

on 12/2/18 6:41 am

Thank you!