Hoping to have gastric bypass

on 9/11/20 7:01 am

I have just joined and posted for the first time on another board and was directed over here. I have a lot of questions regarding post op eating as well as handling stress factors after surgery.

My family is not supportive of me having surgery. I got a lot of great input on my other post and I just wanted to ask those of you who have had surgery what are some important things to remember to ensure you stay on track. I will probably be doing this all on my own since my husband told me last night he will not support me but also will ensure I only have 4 oz of food at every meal. I am not concerned about not getting food what concerns me is the need to know how to focus on meal planning and such so I don't have to deal with the family drama AND ultimately stress eating. I do have some emotional eating issues and I am getting those addressed but I really want to hear from anyone who can offer tips or suggestions.

I am 5'8" and about 320lbs. I am a carb eater unfortunately. I tend to gravitate to easy meals so I know I need to find a passion about creating a prep plan so cooking is easier. We have a budget to stick to so I know that grocery shopping is going to be so very different after surgery. I know I am rambling and I am sorry. I feel overwhelmed. Any suggestions or advice is appreciated regarding eating after gastric surgery.

White Dove
on 9/11/20 7:41 am

Please explain further what you mean by:

my husband told me last night he will not support me but also will ensure I only have 4 oz of food at every meal.

This sounds like the most ridiculous controlling statement I have ever seen.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 9/11/20 12:45 pm

That is exactly what it is. He thinks that by telling me that I will back down and not want to have surgery. It is a childish tactic and I am ignoring it and him. I had an online webinar that I did and he watched it with me. They state that you will have the capacity to eat about 4 oz at each meal. While I know that this is immediately after surgery and that you can eat a bit more over time that statement is a means to make me want to back out. He is doing everything he can think of to scare me or make me second guess my decision.

on 9/11/20 2:31 pm

Do this for YOU and not for anyone else. If they cannot accept your decision to get healthy then that is on them. At least when you are older you will have the energy and stamina to do things. I know if I had not had surgery when I did I would not be here now. As for the controlling husband could this be a way to get you to change your mind because HE is insecure?

White Dove
on 9/11/20 5:50 pm

I would suggest you read this book Emotional First Aid After Weight Loss Surgery

It goes into how to deal with these negative reactions. It is also a really good idea to work with a therapist. Surgery will be life changing in many ways. Food is only one of the things that will change. Your emotional and psychological life will also change.

When someone I know personally has weight loss surgery, I buy this book for them. Everyone I have given it to has told me it helped.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 9/11/20 9:31 am
RNY on 11/27/19

I have to agree, that sounds very controlling and manipulative. I mean what is he going to do, stab you with a fork if you eat more than that or give in to a craving etc? I never understand this type of thinking. It is your body, you are an adult and have to do what is right for you. You don't need anyone to approve of your decision but you do need some support. If you can't find it at home then find it elsewhere. Posting here is a great start and we will help you along the way.

I did a lot of research, watched tons of videos, and read everything I could get my hands on before making this decision. Your partner is supposed to be there for you and should want you to be happy. It sounds as if he is the one that has the problem and will turn into the food police. Just follow your plan, seek help from your team and continue to post here.

Melody P.
on 9/11/20 1:52 pm - TX

My advice is this about WLS. You are the one living in your body. Not your husband or family. You know this is not a cheat...it's a tool. You have to want to do this for yourself and yourself only. For so long we've been conditioned to feel selfish for taking care of ourselves. For me WLS hasn't been easy. A lot of head work goes into making it work. It is worth it though. I was on 5 shots of insulin a day...5!!! I do NOT miss that at all.

39 F and 6 foot 1 inches

VSG - 3-14-18 - - - Revision to RNY - 5-29-19

I can?t control everything but I can control what I put in my body.

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