Big Meeting in Few Hours
I suppose this is going to determine my future ( and monthly income and how much control I have ) now and years from now .
I have to remember not to b obnoxious and shoot myself in the foot like I did so many times in the past .
My father and I interact like a tinder box but the fact is unfairly and manipulatively or not hes succeeded in giving himself total control over the entire family?s finances.
My Mom will never stand up for me and bottom line my father pretty much hates me .
Hes been trying to get rid of me literally all my life and it very much sucks to be utterly unloved and completely unfairly economically treated and used and my precious time wasted with nonsense cleaning and cooking for and building and gardening for free unacknowledged and unappreciated - yet this has been my fate and something I overate over and have a very hard time curing or improving to this day .
I havent eaten properly in weeks - for a while I was eating beans and potatoes ( not that thats really unhealthy provided you avoid fatty add-ons ) I procured fresh food , fruit and salad but really cant eat it . I DID eat an entire truffle Mac n cheese from Whole Foods and boy was it good
Ive been indulging in drinking too much and showing up for myself way too little . I kind of hate how alone Ive been left here on the RNY board too .
Its funny how your weight can be finally normal and your health basically ok and yet you can still be unhappy.
and then you compare yourself to others and feel ashamed but that doesnt let you start sleeping at night or treating yourself better .
B- lowfat Caesar croutons , skinny chai tea latte w salted caramel sugar free syrup , maybe some 75 percent fat free cheddar cheese or ff cottage cheese or both
L - perhaps chimichurri marinated grilled eye round strips and salad w fat free dressing
D - maybe soup - experimenting w South American soups and shrimp n octopus ceviche