Jealous Boss/Friends?

Have any of you had to deal with a boss making little passive aggressive comments towards you after you've lost a significant amount of weight? Mine is VERY alpha female and I think she's starting to feel a little threatened because I'm right on the threshold of being smaller than she is. She went on a "diet" for a couple of weeks and says she lost 20 lbs (though I can't really see where) while I've been on my journey. (She's one of the few people that knows about my WLS, and I was VERY hesitant to tell her because I had a feeling this situation was going to come up sooner or later) I was making a comment about my XL scrub bottoms being too big and needing to get new ones in the next size down and she commented, "oh, don't buy new ones, I have TONS of size large in my closet that I can't wear anymore, because I lost weight and I need mediums now"

There is no way in hell this woman is a size medium. Even in something like scrub bottoms.

Anyway, i'm getting off on a tangent. There have been other comments here and there, basically with her being competitive and jealous of me feeling better about myself.

The complicated part of this situation is that we are friends outside of work, that friendship dates back to before I began this job. I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being overly sensitive or if this is an issue that I need to address. (which I would dread, especially given her mood lately)

Has anyone else gone through this? I'm feeling very stressed over it. :-(

Maybe offer some of your old clothes to her. That should be a silencer.

 One of my employees, who I am good friends with and exercise with all the time has made one comment over and over: "You better not get smaller than me." She says it teasingly but I know it kind of freaks her out. She has said "It would be weird to have you be smaller than me." She's about and inch or two taller than me and weight around 175, she has a very athletic build as she is a soccer player and coach and it what Id call "thick" but has a nice shape. For me its weird cause all my life I was way smaller than her and I have never come to terms with being bigger so Ive always felt "small" even when I was huge. I get that it kind of challenges her normal, like being big did for me so I try to realize she means no harm but is rather questions herself. After all she was the one who started me on this journey, making me walk daily while I whined, doing boot camp with me when I didn't want to go and encouraging me to eat better. I try to take it with a grain of salt and know its not about me, its about her and wonder where this puts her in our friendship. Ya know, no one wants to be "the fat friend" we all know how that feels. When it comes up I just tease "watch out girl, Im on your heals and will be borrowing you jeans soon. I would take it a lil easy cause you don't want to ruin your friendship or work environment over her insecurity. Think in advance of what would work for you to say that doesn't sound *****y but makes it clear that you are on your way to being skinner and she has to come to terms with it. Maybe something like "Wow, you lost 20 pounds, I bet your clothes are all too big now you should let me use them for awhile till they are too big on me too!" so she gets checked cause I bet she didn't and cant give them away cause she needs them still!
Good luck love!

I would just refrain from talking about food or weight in front of her. If she brings it up, change the subject some way, some how. I have a friend staying with me temporarily. She's fallen on hard times. We've been friends since 8th grade so we're more like sisters. She's very supportive of my weight loss, but I can tell she's hesitant to let me see her eat. I just don't engage in any conversation where she's putting herself down for what she's eating. I struggled to offer her some of my jeans b/c I didn't want her to feel bad about her weight, but like I said she's having financial troubles so she ended up being grateful.

My best friend and I have been friends for about 20 yrs.  For the last ten years she has been around 260-290 lbs..and I've been at 354 lbs. We're about the same height.   A year ago she lost a little weight and has been at 254 for a long time.

Since I had the surgery, she's been really happy for me..but yet I've heard from her sister that she's mentioned not wanting to be the 'fat friend' with me losing all this weight.  She has been really strick w/her eating, and exercising and is now weighing 207...I'm still stuck at 222.

I am very happy for her, but also frustrated because for once in my life I wanted to be smaller than her..at least for a short time.  I mean I've lost 132 lbs..but still..her losing 47 lbs has her smaller than me already.

I think its very normal to feel a bit of jealousy.  Maybe this lady has lost 20 lbs and feels like she wants to be noticed like you are probably getting noticed for your loss.  I know I'm thrilled that my friend and I are both getting healthy and losing weight..but I still want to be the smaller one..

The parade of Haters is in Maryland too!  Scrub bottoms

Personally I'd take the scrub bottoms and say thank you.

Fortunately for me I have the BEST BEST BEST girlfriends I could have ever been blessed with.  With the size of MY ego I'm surprised they've been MY friends this long.  Even when I was 300+ I was/am a mess.  With that said they have been nothing but supportive.  I have one friend who made comments about being the "fat" friend but I know it's just insecurity from her being fat.  She is now the fat friend but see's from me nothing but the love I've always had and the confidence I've had as a big girl is translating into HER being more confident no matter WHAT size yada yada.

Just know that it's HER issue and insecurities talking.  No real "need" to address it UNLESS she starts being a real ***** and then you'll know she wasn't really your friend to begin with.

Ms Shell

I had a co-worker *****tired just before I had my sleeve done.  When I first mentioned that I wanted to have WLS, she cautioned against it, mentioning someone who used to work in our dept. who had died of WLS complications.  My co-worker had worked  here much longer than me, so I did not work with the woman who passed away, but came to find out, through other co-workers, that the woman had terrible health problems, and had her surgery way back in the early 90's, when it wasn't as perfected as it is now.

This co-worker, who was not exaclty a ballerina, btw, always had a little jab about weight.  She would say stuff like "Oh, my mother was over 300 lbs and extremely heavy too," etc.  She has been back to visit several times since I had my surgery and has never said one word about my weight loss, even as it has become quite apparent that I am losing weight.  As a matter of fact, the last time she came in, last week, she looked at me and said "Losing slow is the best way, isn't it?"  Then went around telling everyone that she has lost weight.

Whatever.

There are always going to be people who feel jealous and/or threatened.  They would probably deny it, as no one wants to think they are capable of such pettiness.  But there ya go.

 

I have a sister that made the comment "I'm the fat sister now" But she got off her ass and has lost 40lbs on her own! I'm very proud of her. Even though this girl was homecomming queen wearing a 00 yep DOUBLE ZERO. So I have very little sympathy. A couple of my friends are jealous- one in particular. I just blow it off. It makes us both uncomfortable. She like to take pics of me and show them around like I'm a circus sideshow.

Thanks guys :)

It helps to know that everyone has their own situations going on. So frustrating!