Four years after surgery
Today is my four year anniversary of my VSG surgery with Dr. Jossart. I can hardly believe that it's been four years since I took the steps to save my life. Am I skinny and look like a super model? Nope. Do I still struggle with my weight, my body and my food on a daily basis? YES. am I glad that I undertook this journey? ABSOLUTELY.
My highest weight was 423 pounds. I had severe obstuctive sleep apnea, high blood pressure, type two diabetes, high cholesterol, urinary incontinance and I was literally dying. I was able to lose some of that weight before surgery, but I'd lose 50, gain 75, lose 50, gain 75, so I finally jumped in and had the surgery between the lose 50 and gain 75 cycle.
I've gotten as low as 228, currently at 252 down from 266 at Christmas time. I still stuglle with my head, my emotions, my food, but my VSG does it's job every single day. There have been many lessons learned in the past four years......
1.) Surgery is not the answer, it is a tool, just like a lawnmower or hammer, in order for the tool to work, somebody has to be using the tool. If you let the lawnmower sit in the shed, your lawn will continue to grow. Pictures don't hang themselves just because you put a hammer on the table. Having a saw is not the same as sawing a 2X4 every day... USE THE DAMN TOOL!!!!! It's the most important and the most expensive one you'll ever have. There are no magic bullets.
2.) The first 6 months are the easiest, when you are healing, seeing big results and getting lots of positive feedback from your people and your mirror. After that, you have to muster the desire, willpower, and intensity needed to keep yourself on track...there are no magic bullets.
3.) Exercise is a necessity, I've toyed with it, didn't focus on it when I was losing the most, because I was losing without doing it. BIG MISTAKE. A thinner body is not a stonger body, I am much lighter and much healthier, but I am not much stronger. I am begining yoga and daily exercise and am realizing how very weak I am especially in my core. This would have been much easier had I built myself up slowly over time. There are no magic bullets.
4.) Not everybody you love will love the new you , or support your efforts. Love yourself enough to continue, even when it feels like the support has faded, or people are wanting to put you back in your box. You deserve a healthier life, even if it means ditching a few unhealthy relationships, sometimes when we change we learn that our partners liked us better when we were sickly, or weak. Get strong and healthy for yourself, then decide what you will and won't accpet in terms of relationships. Don't subjigate your goals just to make somebody else feel more secure. In the end, you lose a bit of yourself, and haven't you already done that????
5.) Find your friends, your supporters, your touch points and use them use them use them. Having a friend who had surgery, who still wants to talk about every little food struggle years later saves the sanity of the other people in my life who have moved so past me talking about how I can't eat bread and pasta..... and how this hurts my stomach and that makes me gag. Don't expect that everyone sill continue to be as fascinated with the inner workings of your body as you are. Most are just glad you are alive, getting healthy, but they don't want to process it every time you eat. Find those people that understand, and be there for each other, the rest of your loved ones will be thankful.
6.) Share your clothes! I had several people on this board send me things when I was rapidly changing sizes (RANA XOXOXO) and could not afford new clothing. They literally saved my ass. (OK, technically they saved other people the pain and embarassement of seeing my ass) I still share my clothing freely when I go down a size rather than selling it, makes me feel a bit better to help somebody else.
7.) Be willing to share your story with people who ask, but don't get all crusader about it. Just because this was a good choice for you, or a bad choice for you, don't assume that everyone will have the same experience that you did. I refuse to answer the question "Do you think I should have surgery?" because it is a very persoanl decision. I always tell people that I can share my experience, I send them to this forum, and then remind them that it is a very personal decision. I've tlaked with people out there who goi around telling everybody that they shuold have surgery, it makes me uncomfortable and I don't think it's ethical. I offer support to everyone who has questions, and support their choice to have, or not have the surgery.
8.) I've lost over 160 pounds, my blood pressure is normal, my blood sugar is completely diet controlled, I no longer have sleep apnea or urinary incontinence. I move more easily, sleep better and feel better in my skin. Guess what? I've been diagnosed with migraines, fibromylgia and just had a nasty bout with diverticulitis. Please don't allow yourself to think that having wls will solve all of your health problems. You will age, and have other issues, not all weight related. It's been a pretty **** poor year for me healthwise, but I'm pretty sure I'd be dead if I had not lost weight before this year.
9.) Live in a state of gratitude. Be grateful for your life, your surgeon, your opportunity to have a better life. Be grateful for the insurance you have even if it doesn't cover your surgery. Be grateful for the people who love and support you, and be grateful for this forum and amazing people who share their stories and wisdom. Be grateful for life, opportunity and yes, even those daily struggles with cheetos. If we struggle, we are alive.
Big love to all of you!!!!
My highest weight was 423 pounds. I had severe obstuctive sleep apnea, high blood pressure, type two diabetes, high cholesterol, urinary incontinance and I was literally dying. I was able to lose some of that weight before surgery, but I'd lose 50, gain 75, lose 50, gain 75, so I finally jumped in and had the surgery between the lose 50 and gain 75 cycle.
I've gotten as low as 228, currently at 252 down from 266 at Christmas time. I still stuglle with my head, my emotions, my food, but my VSG does it's job every single day. There have been many lessons learned in the past four years......
1.) Surgery is not the answer, it is a tool, just like a lawnmower or hammer, in order for the tool to work, somebody has to be using the tool. If you let the lawnmower sit in the shed, your lawn will continue to grow. Pictures don't hang themselves just because you put a hammer on the table. Having a saw is not the same as sawing a 2X4 every day... USE THE DAMN TOOL!!!!! It's the most important and the most expensive one you'll ever have. There are no magic bullets.
2.) The first 6 months are the easiest, when you are healing, seeing big results and getting lots of positive feedback from your people and your mirror. After that, you have to muster the desire, willpower, and intensity needed to keep yourself on track...there are no magic bullets.
3.) Exercise is a necessity, I've toyed with it, didn't focus on it when I was losing the most, because I was losing without doing it. BIG MISTAKE. A thinner body is not a stonger body, I am much lighter and much healthier, but I am not much stronger. I am begining yoga and daily exercise and am realizing how very weak I am especially in my core. This would have been much easier had I built myself up slowly over time. There are no magic bullets.
4.) Not everybody you love will love the new you , or support your efforts. Love yourself enough to continue, even when it feels like the support has faded, or people are wanting to put you back in your box. You deserve a healthier life, even if it means ditching a few unhealthy relationships, sometimes when we change we learn that our partners liked us better when we were sickly, or weak. Get strong and healthy for yourself, then decide what you will and won't accpet in terms of relationships. Don't subjigate your goals just to make somebody else feel more secure. In the end, you lose a bit of yourself, and haven't you already done that????
5.) Find your friends, your supporters, your touch points and use them use them use them. Having a friend who had surgery, who still wants to talk about every little food struggle years later saves the sanity of the other people in my life who have moved so past me talking about how I can't eat bread and pasta..... and how this hurts my stomach and that makes me gag. Don't expect that everyone sill continue to be as fascinated with the inner workings of your body as you are. Most are just glad you are alive, getting healthy, but they don't want to process it every time you eat. Find those people that understand, and be there for each other, the rest of your loved ones will be thankful.
6.) Share your clothes! I had several people on this board send me things when I was rapidly changing sizes (RANA XOXOXO) and could not afford new clothing. They literally saved my ass. (OK, technically they saved other people the pain and embarassement of seeing my ass) I still share my clothing freely when I go down a size rather than selling it, makes me feel a bit better to help somebody else.
7.) Be willing to share your story with people who ask, but don't get all crusader about it. Just because this was a good choice for you, or a bad choice for you, don't assume that everyone will have the same experience that you did. I refuse to answer the question "Do you think I should have surgery?" because it is a very persoanl decision. I always tell people that I can share my experience, I send them to this forum, and then remind them that it is a very personal decision. I've tlaked with people out there who goi around telling everybody that they shuold have surgery, it makes me uncomfortable and I don't think it's ethical. I offer support to everyone who has questions, and support their choice to have, or not have the surgery.
8.) I've lost over 160 pounds, my blood pressure is normal, my blood sugar is completely diet controlled, I no longer have sleep apnea or urinary incontinence. I move more easily, sleep better and feel better in my skin. Guess what? I've been diagnosed with migraines, fibromylgia and just had a nasty bout with diverticulitis. Please don't allow yourself to think that having wls will solve all of your health problems. You will age, and have other issues, not all weight related. It's been a pretty **** poor year for me healthwise, but I'm pretty sure I'd be dead if I had not lost weight before this year.
9.) Live in a state of gratitude. Be grateful for your life, your surgeon, your opportunity to have a better life. Be grateful for the insurance you have even if it doesn't cover your surgery. Be grateful for the people who love and support you, and be grateful for this forum and amazing people who share their stories and wisdom. Be grateful for life, opportunity and yes, even those daily struggles with cheetos. If we struggle, we are alive.
Big love to all of you!!!!
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