When Did Being Determined and having Drive become a bad thing?

 I am determined to not live depressed, unhappy, sad, lonely, feeling less than, being judged, being told no because I am fat, being told no because I don't look how someone else thinks I should look.

I have determined that I am tired of punishing myself for the bad things that people have done to me to make me be in this situation of now needing to have WLS to save my life.  WLS is not a fade to me its not a joke to me I need it so that I can live the life that I shouldve been able to live and wasn't able to because for almost 15 years I have tried to hide myself from those who I thought I was punishing but I now understand that the only person being punished was me. I know I did this to myself and I am ready to do whatever it takes to fix what I have done to myself so having WLS is the tool I need to start over and do it right.  So I was upset when my surgeons office last wdnesday told me that they had a problem with me because my pysch said "lashunta is willing to do whatever she needs to do" they don't feel I am ready because of that statement.  I  am trying to really understand how being determinedd and having the drive to save my life is bad.  Please all responses is appreciated!!!!

Seems to me that being willing to do whatever she needs to do is ABSOLUTELY what your doctor should be looking for in a psych report. I think you may need a (calm) clarifying call with your doctor. . .and if that doesn't fix it, find another doctor.

That makes no sense to me,   i would interpret that statement to mean you are willing to do whatever it takes to beat this and that would make you a great candidate.   Maybe ask them to ask the therapist what exactly they meant by that statement.   It takes determination and strength of will to be successful with WLS.  I would think this is a very good thing.  It can be so frustrating going through all this,  but it will all be worth it.   Keep the faith    :o)  Jeani

Wow, I'm sorry that they said that to you.  I agree with the other post. I would call and see if you can talk to the doctor. See what else you can do.  Maybe longer time with supervised diet and the counselor.  Please keep us posted.

thanks  all for the responses, I know my pysch meant that in a positive way.  While meeting with the team they told me that I seemed ready and educated  on wls and they would support me, so the lady  who I talked too is wrong. That conversation happened almost a week ago and it just hit me today about really what this lady was saying to me and in all reality if I wasn't so close to getting a date I would go to another hospital and right now I am looking into it.

I talked with someone who had wls with this same hospital and they basically said I need to go to them and basicallay cry and stuff like that and I aint doing that ****  I shouldnt have to pretend to be what I aint.  I can't help it I have made up in my mind what I want and doing what needs to be done without anyone holding my hand. 

Sounds like some people there have God complexes when really they suffer from Napoleon complex in which they are far smaller than they want to believe.

 

I am over here getting all worked up and angry for you because I went through this bullsh*t too. Infuriating! 

 sorry to hear about your struggles.. getting approval for wls is a nightmare to say the least.. good luck to you, and hope everything works out for you!  

sounds very confusing!  hang in there....it will be worth all your trouble.   seems to me like you have a great attitude....go girl!

"have determined that I am tired of punishing myself for the bad things that people have done to me to make me be in this situation of now needing to have WLS to save my life.I need it so that I can live the life that I shouldve been able to live and wasn't able to because for almost 15 years I have tried to hide myself from those who I thought I was punishing but I now understand that the only person being punished was me."
 ^ that really spoke to me

You are right Shantele, you don't need to play the victim (though I suppose most of us are) to get your surgery. Haven't we groveled at the feet of others for long enough and accepted second or third best? We have EVERY right to demand to living a fullfilling life OUR way! Straighten your back out and do it your way.

This seems very peculiar to me. Can't see why any surgeon would object to that. They mainly want to make sure you understand what you are getting into and have the ability to follow through with it. Sounds like you got plenty of that. I would go back to  whoever did the psych consult and tell them your problem and ask them point blank if they thing there is some reason you are not a candidate and if they say no, have them write that in a supplemental report to the surgeon. Something doesn't smell right here.

I had to fight insurance and some things to get mine done and I think it only makes it all the better when you have to fight for something. so go girl.   Diane