Marriage issues after wls?

Has anyone else had problems?  I love my husband  = but find myself bored.  not neessarily bored with him but with 'married life' in general.  I don't want to go out and 'hook up' with someone else or anything - i just feel different..   he told me he liked me better when I was fat = i was less happy with myself but happier with my life..

suggestions?

Val

This is very common!  Try the "singles" and "sex after WLS" boards.  They're full of people going through this same struggle.  It may be that you weren't "happier" but were more content pre-surgery, because you were settling for what you thought you deserved, and now you want a more fun, fulfilling, exciting life.  Does that sound like you?

Do the right thing and talk to your husband about what's going on in your head.

You may try seeing a therapist about it. It could be a phase or it could not be. I get whre you are coming from though.

 Don't know how your partner's health is but mine has been convinced to join me on bike rides and hikes. Adds excitement to both our lives and we're both losing weight and gaining stamina for more intimate things.

Talk to the man you said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.  Make your life together less boring.  My wife and I plan to go out and visit somewhere or do something together once a month that we wouldn't normally do.  Better to repair than regret a loss for the rest of your life.  Good luck and warm wishes! 

If married life consisted of sitting around on the couch eating and watching TV, yes, you were probably content with that pre-op.  It's an easy, inert life.  If you wan't more than that post WLS you have to look inside yourself not to your husband or anyone else. 

Pick a goal a healthy, worthwhile goal, and work towards it.  I'm training for a very physicaly demaning 5K race with obstacles, fire jumping, etc., for example. My hubby  made a few comments about my time at the gym, etc., but has more recently said he'd better get started training if he's going to do it with me. If you are doing something valuable and feel good about yourself, he'll respond.  If he doesn't, that's the point where you have to consider the long term future of your relationship.

IMO which is not professional, btw,  women cheat physically or emotionally post WLS because they're looking for a way to feel like crap about themselves again -- a different reasont to look in the mirror and say, gee, I'm a worthless piece of **** Women are good at self-sabotage and that sometimes includes the men we pick. 

I feel you !!!!I told mine last nite I need fun lol.He laughed so yeah going through the same thing!!

The symptoms that you are describing could very well indicate depression.  This is NOT uncommon following weight loss surgery, especially f you have a history of depression.  Your hormones are "out of kilter", and will be for some time till your body readjusts to a "normal level".

In addition, being a lot thinner can be very threatening to YOU.  Even though this is something you wanted, and something that you medically needed to do, for a lot of people being fat is a protection.  It prevents them from many relationship problems, because a LOT of people simply can't or won't deal with fat people.

Give some thought to whether or not this could be depression at work.  Speak to your doctor about your lack of interest in anything (which is the single most common symptom of depression).

It could very well be that you were more dynamic, more of an engaged person, prior to your weight loss.  But now, if you are depressed and withdrawing into yourself, you are not interacting as you used to, which your husband would notice, but not necessarily know why that is happening.

Just wanted to add, even though I already posted, that it could be you have both changed and have grown apart. I would try to salvage the marriage if that's what you want. But if it isn't sure as heck don't stay in it just because.