Mom freaked out

So I told my parents about my decision to have WLS. I am 30, single, and my weight has been up and down my whole life. And pretty much as I expected, my mom completely freaked out. She seems to know every person who died/got really sick/regained all their weight from WLS, and is begging me not to go through with the surgery. I think she'll come around eventually, and I know she is so scared because she loves me. I would appreciate any advice on how to put her fears at ease.

For my mother, it was taking her to the support groups, sharing the stories on OH with her and pictures as well as having her attend my doctor's appts and ask questions. When she learned about the lower risks with VSG vs. some of the other WLS's as well as talked to others that had the surgery and had done well, that helped her tremendously.

So many people are like your mother; they don't know how WLS has changed and procedures have improved. They have to be educated and learn the same way we do. Hopefully some serious heart-to-hearts as to why you have made this decision and how you weight has affected you will help.

I am 32, single, the oldest child and I had never had surgery before. To boot, when they attempted to take out my tonsils when I was 5, they had to stop because I almost died. So you can imagine the nervous wreck my mother was!

I hope this helps,

I took my 85 year old Mom to one of the seminars introducing WLS of all types. i had already made the decision but let her give her input and ask questions of the surgeon. She even took notes so she could tell my Dad about it. She made a trip down the snowy north (I always thought that might be the reason)  just for the seminar and again for my surgery. She helped make up pureed foods and froze them, etc. 

All of my family has been supportive since day one.  But I let my Mom particularly get very involved in as much info as possible. Made her feel part of the process.

PS----I'm single and was 57 at the time of surgery;  parental involvement/worries never end I guess!!!

My mom was really scared also.  I  dont know if your mom lives near you.  Maybe you could take her to the surgeon appt with you.  Maybe if she heard everything about it, she may feel better. Or to a pre-op seminar.
It is true that this may seem craxy to some people.  But it is more scary to continue our lives the way we were!!!
I am 6mths out and I feel great. I have lost 73 lbs... Yes this will be a change for the rest of our lives.  But it is so worth it.

If you would like to talk more, please feel free to add me as a friend.

Good Luck

Jane

Hi, I am 29... so we are close in age.  When I told my mom she was supportive, but I took her to a required seminar where she could learn all about WLS and the different types.  I think that helped the both of us a lot. 

my mom was like "what took you so long?" A whole different annoyance.  I think mom's do an initial freak out about almost anything they think could hurt their children.  Information is your best chance of bringing her around to her supportive self.    Good luck with your surgery
 

when i told my mom, she said "oh, i'm so glad you are finally doing something about your weight! i've been so worried about you!"  

i said "mom, i've been trying to FINALLY do something about my weight for more than 35 years..."  my sis was very supportive from the beginning, my older brother was the most negative...  worried about complications, yadda yadda..

137 lbs later i just smile...  i was right, they worried for nuthin... 

i win. 


make your choices for you, and don't  back down just because they are scared....



jeris

My mom freaked out too. I'm about 10 years older than you, but the same thing - the stories of 'so and so' who died. She was insistant that I should get the lap band because it wasn't permanent and when she heard about the VSG she was like, you would never permantly remove your stomach, etc. There was no talking to her. So, I never really talked about the details with her and she seemed happier that way. She was there for my surgery and with me for recovery, but my husband was my main support really - then I found OH (thank GOD!). :)
Some people just don't understand and they don't want to understand. Plus, it's your mom and they worry for us and they love us.
I invited her to come along to support group & informational meetings, but she wouldn't come. She said she supported me.
She's happy for me, but she is just one of those extreme worry-warts who knows everything there is to know and can't be convinced otherwise.

Hang in there - at least you found OH and we're here for you girl!! Hopefully, your mom will turn around and really be there for you. I think she will.  :)