Spent the Last 2 Weeks Eating Like Crap... and Now I'm Paying for It

Yeah, I really want to kick myself in the ass for eating so badly.  I really went completely off the reservation - wine, pie, cookies, you name it and I ate it.  I'm trying not to make excuses for myself, but it's hard not to.  I really think that the root of the problem is that I JUST got below 200 lbs.  This happened to me during my last diet experience also.  I literally hit 200.0 lbs and lost my mind.  I think that psychologically I don't want to be under 200 lbs.  Either that or I hit 200 lbs, I feel and look great and I think it's celebration time.  Anyway, today I weighed in at 200 lbs - 2 weeks ago I was 198.5.
 
I need to get back on the horse.  I'm NOT going to fail this time!!!  Does anyone else have a hard time staying on track when 1) they get smaller and feel better and 2) the weight loss slows way down and isn't so drastic?  I think both of those things are contributing to my epic slide backward.

Hey don't beat yourself up! Just get back to the grind! As long as you know where your coming from, you will be fine! Just remember all the crap you had to go through to get here! Good luck!

Same here and I was trying to put my finger on the issue.  Maybe that's it.  Do I want to fail or do I just want to celebrate or think that I am "entitled" to eat crap!!!

 

I want to lose more -- so do you -- so let's just keep being the best we can.   That's all we can do.    Can't be anyone else but us.

Absolutely, on both counts!  I have a couple of psychological weight "set points."  One is 230, and one is 185.  I have stopped completely 3 or 4 times at 230, where I am near now.  This is a big weight for me, in terms of self-perception and identity.  My outsides start looking very different from how I think I look starting when I go below 230, and I have obviously resisted that.  It has also been "good enough" in the past, so I tend to relax and settle in once I get here.

My therapist at the time I was losing weight in my late 20s told me that people re-experience what they were trying to avoid by gaining the weight, when they lose it.  I don't know if that's entirely true, especially at my age, but it was super true for me in my 20s and I did have several plateaus that took work (psychological) to push through. 

For me, it's not celebration as much as fear - who am I when I weigh less than 230, and who am I when I weigh less than 185?  Gaining weight did something for me, and I have to be sure I can tell myself we can take care of those things some other way if I'm going to let go of the weight.

What has helped me is trying to stay focused on a sane way of eating as its own reward, and finding freedom and relief in that.  Not in the weight.  At some point, we will all stop losing weight, but a sane relationship with food is a joy forever, right?

Editted to correct typo.

Every time I see a lower number on the scale, it makes me want to work harder to see an even lower number. That's just me though. I am doing this journey 5 lbs at a time, and I dont really stop to think much about my ultimate weight goal, or where im at necessarily. A kind of tunnel vision I guess.

I get frsutrated with stalls and gains, and other BS, but I have yet to use it as an excuse to make bad choices. See, ive spent enough time dieting and hanging around here to know that these stalls, and slow downs have nothing to do with me, so I dont take it personally. Yes, I get frustrated but I know for certain that it will pass, and I'll keep losing AS LONG AS i keep doing what I need to do. It's hard - im not saying its not- but when you look at the only possibly outcomes for "going off the reservation", none of them will get me where I need to go. That's how I see it, that's how I keep myself going.

What I'd recommend is that when you get close to these mile stones - ditch the scale for a couple weeks and focus just on making the right choices. You know what you need to do - you don't need the scale to tell you. That way the only mental thing you need to worry about is protein, calories, water, carbs,  exercise, etc - all 100% within your control.  YOU CAN DO THIS!

Remember this is a journey! We will learn from the journey AND will hit bumps down the road till we learn our lesson. It can be frusturating but try to embrace the change and stay on track. 


You can do it!! 

I think a lot of us can easily fall into this because of past habits. I always did well dieting till I didn't feel like I was seeing results then Id start slippin and fast. My head was only in the game as long as I felt like I was winning. I got defeated easily and gave up. So far with the sleeve its been very different for me. I think the desire to eat has pretty much left me so that helps... but... there are days its a losing battle. I think we all do that.
Yesterday fore example.
The first day of my cycle... I for one reason or another decided to cook all ******g day long... no joke! I make 4 dozen mini walnut maple cupcake ... from scratch so they were extra delish... ate 3 or 4 of em... (they were tiny.. like the size of my thumb) but still ( I ended up sending tons home with daycare parents to avoid eating them).. and then for dinner I bought boneless skinless breasts and rather than grilling them like i typically would... i crushed up ritz crackers... breaded them and fried them in hot veggie oil... I made a huge pan of roasted red potatoes and pearl onions... covered in olive oil, rosemary, basil, paprika and salt and pepper. I went to bed thinking.. holy **** I blew it.
I at was 143 yesterday morning... and I ALWAYS stay between 140 and 143. Typically on my 143 days I am super super strict and drop a pound or two to stay in my safe zone... its how I keep my head in the game and stay on track.
I woke this morning ... peed and hopped on the scale... holding my breath and bracing for failure....


142!!!! I about cried ... then I sat and thought about what I had actually eaten. Although bad for me... not horrid over all...

I had a shake for bfast and a 24oz bottle of water
I had about a 4th of a fried chicken leg for lunch and one bite of my kids pizza made on a whole wheat thin bun with low fat cheese and another bottle of water
I had 3 or 4 of those super mini cupcake which all together are 1/2 a real cupcake or less and another bottle of water
I had 2 1.5oz fried chicken strips a 3 tiny red potato squares and a bottle of water
and at some point one pumpkin spice Hersey kiss...

so as bad as I felt like I ate... compared to pre-vsg damage it wasn't so bad and def not enough t0 gain weight as long as I keep my head in the game and get back on track with better choices today. So far I have my shake in and am working on my bottle of water. Its gonna be a good day... and you are gonna pull it off too!!!! 
Hugs... you got this babe!

Pumpkin spice Hershey  kiss???  What is this heaven of which you speak?!

I think there is a time when you start thinking that you just want to eat a burger like a regular person and enjoy it.  I haven't taken it past the thinking stage (yet) and hopefully won't.  Even tho I can almost taste the burger, smell the burger, and visualize the burger, I also know it wouldn't taste as good as thin feels.  I also know my tastes have changed even tho my head is telling me it would taste so good, I know the bun would sit in my gut like a rock, and I can't eat much more than a bite or two.  My problem is due to how much things have changed in taste for me I don't really enjoy eating like I did pre op.  So while I could eat some of those things they just don't taste like I want them to.  Maybe thats a good thing!  Get back on the wagon and don't look back.  Eyes forward.

Oh I almost feel like I should not even comment on this because I have not had the surgery yet.  But I just have to say this is my worst fear.  I have done really really well on a few diets in my life time but I hit about the 230 220 mark and bam I do not know what happens but I end up gaining and it gets out of control and I gain every pound back plus some.  That's why I am where I'm at now.  So I know what you're saying and I'm not sure why I do it I don't know if its a celebration thing or if its just a man Ive been doing this diet seems like forever and I'm sick of it kinda deal.  The good thing is you recognize it and you have this wonderful tool to help you so you can easily get back on track and leave the 200's behind you forever.  I do have one question for you since I'm a newbie and just starting the process when you ate all that stuff the pie, cookies ect did it make you feel sick?  I mean physically sick?  I know my friend had rny and if she ate those things she would be deathly ill, so I just wondered if it was the same with the sleeve.