Why there are so many divorces after surgery?

ThinVoyage
on 11/15/11 6:00 am, edited 1/24/12 4:46 am - CA
VSG on 09/06/11 with
I
    
HW - 390; SW - 308; CW - 215               
Sooz.L.
on 11/15/11 6:05 am - United Kingdom
It could also be because we have settled for someone and are frightened to move on as we may feel that nobody loves our fat selves and then when we loose weight we think hell to being treated badly and realise that we are loveable and we can go out and find someone better.
    
USAF Wife
on 11/15/11 6:07 am
My thoughts are that people who are obese/morbidly obese miraculously expect people to treat them better when they are skinny. Sadly, douchebags are douchebags and it usually doesn't matter what size their partner is, they are still douchebags and the patient has allowed deplorable, often abusive behavior to occur over the course of their relationship. When said patient loses weight, they no longer tolerate the bad behavior and they 1) Leave the marriage/relationship 2) Stay in it and still expect that doucehbag to treat them better because they're skinny.

Weight loss isn't going to fix a rocky marriage. When a person ties their self-worth and self-esteem to their pant size, they can't expect the world to just automatically treat them better. The relationship/marriage will only be more unstable once the patient makes positive life changes and grows a back bone.

I wouldn't blame looking for "another opportunity" 100% at fault for the high divorce rate with WLS patients. From what I've seen over my 4 years here is that the patient all of a sudden wants and needs to be treated differently/better than what they had received in the past and now they believe in themselves enough to demand more from their partner or leave.
Band to VSG revision: June 3, 2009
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs


ThinVoyage
on 11/15/11 6:27 am - CA
VSG on 09/06/11 with
VegasLAbound
on 11/15/11 6:34 am - Cleveland, OH

Ughh I love when you post! So informative and wise!

janielynne
on 11/15/11 7:31 am
YES YES YES !!!!
    

                      
kch561
on 11/15/11 6:29 am - CT
In one of the WLS books I read (and I'm sorry that I can't recall which one), the author wrote something on this topic to the effect of, "Weight-loss surgery WILL have an effect on the patient's relationship; good marriages tend to get stronger after WLS, and bad marriages tend to get worse after WLS."

Again, I'm paraphrasing, but that sentiment has stuck with me.  Hope this helps.
Age: 42    Ht: 5'6"    HW: 273    SW: 259   GW: 135
     
    
ThinVoyage
on 11/15/11 6:32 am - CA
VSG on 09/06/11 with
edelu
on 11/15/11 7:33 am - los angeles, CA
It's also that once you make one major change and succeed at it you start looking for other places in your life where you are less than thrilled.  I notice people apply for promotions more also and change jobs and put up with less rom their teenagers.  It's all part of the "i don't have to deal with this" or "I can do better" syndrome.
ThinVoyage
on 11/15/11 7:41 am - CA
VSG on 09/06/11 with
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