I acted like a 2 year old last night, over food!

 I'm pre-op.  Will be a band revision to sleeve in June.  Went to dinner with my Husband last nite, ordered fish.  It was a bit more of an upscale place then we usually dine, so my fish comes and its spicy.  But not just spicy as in heat, there were so many flavors (not good ones) that I couldn't even pick out what I didn't like. I was FINE at dinner. I had plenty of an appetizer and could have easily stopped at that.  I didn't eat the fish, or anything else after I was pissed that I didn't like it. No big deal.  We leave and once I'm home, I'm so pissy!  Almost ANGRY at my husband b/c he enjoyed his food. I am reading these boards daily, waiting my turn, so to say..... and it just hit me, how am I going to act afterwards?  I did it once with the lap band. I did quite well in the beginning. But once the weight started coming back on, I just said, screw it, I'm fat, I'm meant to be fat and I will ALWAYS be fat.  Needless to say I weigh more than I did pre-band.  I honestly feel like a drug addict gettin ready to head to rehab.  As in, I better enjoy what I can now, cuz I can't eat  like this much longer.  I'm starting to think I'm out of control.  I stopped seeing my therapist  when I decided to revise, but I think I'm heading down a path of destruction.  I went to therapy until I realized WHY I become a compulsive over eater, but I didn't continue and I def need to get back b4 the surgery to learn how to deal with my emotions.  I honestly don't know why I felt the need to post this, I guess not having anyone in my life that is obese or has food issues makes it harder on me.  I love my husband to death, but he'll never understand.  No one else in my family is obese.  Just lucky Ole me.  go figure.  

 i am like you , the same...
im also thinking of vsg and im gonna have the surgery in about a month. and im out of control .. iv been on diets on and off for 12 years now and never kept the weight off always regained. and now im losing it even more im gaining by the minute. i fear that i cant keep up the good right food choices after vsg and regain yet again.

well i too dont know why im telling you this .. i guess your not alone.

Keep ya head up friend. You are not the only one that has a food addiction.  I can't speak for everyone on this site, so I will only speak for me.  About 1 year ago, I came to conclusion that I was an "emotional eater".  I never was this heavy even after being pregnant with my 2 kids.  I was a part of a very dysfunctional, quite disturbing family life.  Most of my adult years were tormenting mind body spirit and soul.  It seemed like I just couldn't seem to get it together with jobs, relationships and life decisions, therefore I ate. Emotional train wreck and no one even knew.  I'm the strong person in my family, but I'm the baby. Everyone seems to navigate towards me, as I am mother hen now.  Nevertheless no one understands but God.  I went on yo yo diets, did Adipex pills and was successful, but then I got besides myself thinking I could just kick and still lose the weight...that didn't happen.  Like you, I gained more then when I started, so ultimately my self esteem was going haywire, but on the inside.  In May 2011 I ask the Lord to help aid and guide me through what would be considered the biggest decision I ever made in my life, and in 11 days I will be sleeved!  I have been on this site asking questions as a typical "food head" would ask...like can I at least cheat before my surgery, I can make it up.. or wanting to know who "didn't have to" do the liquid protein diet before the surgery!  All because of my addiction.  Now its getting somewhat better as I am getting closer to the surgery.  One lady told me that if I'm inquiring about this pre op, will I be able to handle post op.  In my mind I said yes, but my flesh was trying to tell me something else. All I'm saying is that for everything in life is choices.  I will praying for strength for me and you because we are going to need it.  I pray everything works out for you and keep in touch with your OHS family.  We always like to know how everyone is doing.  Good luck and God speed. 

I think it's fair to say that almost everyone, if not everyone, here has a food addiction in one way or another... otherwise we wouldn't be here! So, u r in no way shape or form alone... if u need to vent here, DO IT! As much and as often as u need to to help u become sucessful on your journey!

Good luck!

Before you revise, you need to come to terms with your addictions and deal with it. Surgery is risky business and you need to go into with the right mind set. That's going to take a 180 degree turn with how you view food and its role in your life.

Until you get to that point, the revision will not help. I have a friend that gained with the band, thought the sleeve was a miracle, revised, lost weight for 3 months, and has been going up since then....anatomical changes are only a small part of the WLS process and just having a smaller stomach is absolutely no where close to a guarantee of success.

I totally understand your pain and frustration. I am a food addict, and I am a compulsive binge eater through and through. BUT i have chosen to deal with my issues, accept them, and figure out ways to still be successful. It is possible but you have to prepare yourself for the emotional roller coaster.

A sleeve will not cure obesity. It helps us to limit how much we eat, but it cannot and will not make healthy choices for us, nor will it force us to exercise or to live a healthier lifestyle. Those are changes we have to make in our heads, and the surgery is only done on our stomachs.

We have to make healthy choices every minute of every day. Believe me, I COULD go out there and eat candy bars and popcorn....because both slide right through my sleeve. I COULD eat enough of those to gain weight on a daily basis, and regain those 120 pounds that I fought to lose.

But I decided to make a lifesyle commitment to healthy eating, to a healthy lifestyle; and I have to remind myself every day to stick to it.

It's not easy. It's not intuitive. I have to work on it every day. And let me tell you, as a post op, a year down the road; I would have sent the fish back and made them grill me something I COULD eat. My food is too darned important to me to NOT enjoy it. I would have told them that it was too highly spiced for me to eat, and could I please have a simply grilled/steamed/broiled filet with whatever one spice or lemon or whatever....I'm very picky -- a fish fillet can represent at least two or three meals for me, and I'm NOT going to eat something I don't love !!!