Telling people to "get a life"

Lynnegetsbrave
on 4/16/12 8:48 pm
 Okay, I never planned to need wls...like most of you I am sure.  I was 10 pounds overweight when I graduated high school and 25 lbs. overweight when I graduated college.  When I started my Master's Degree I had ballooned up to 70 lbs overweight but through diet and exercise and working on family issues I lost all of it and was thinner than I had every been.  I kept it off for many years until I got pregnant.  I lost my first baby when I ws 8 months pregant for unknown reasons...she simply died inutero.  I gave birth a year later to my one and only son.  However I never really lost the baby weight.  Then I got divorced, then I got sick and was given Levaquin and Corticsteroids and I developed a horrific case of  tendonitis which resulted in my achilles tendons being shredded which means I lost the ability to walk.  My mother died, I developed a cyst, lymphnodes were removed and then I was left with lymphedema.  Could I get any "luckier"?  I didn't just decide one day to become sedentary.  I would be happier than heckies if I could walk.  I dont like being confined to a wheelchair, that my legs have to be elevated, and that leaving the house is a battle.  Yep, I need to lose 150 lbs....but hello if one more person tells me that just exercise or go for a walk, or when you have this surgery you will be able to walk again, or are you sure you aren't overeating...I am swear I am going to commit hary-cary....well not really but I can think it.  Really if it were so "easy" to lose this weight don't they think we would simply do it...with the exception of the one woman on TV who said her goal was to be the heaviest woman in the world...I can't think of one person who intentionally tried to become obese.  WLS will not help me walk...but it will help me become more mobile...I won't feel as bad  about my self but most importantly it will improve my health.  Thanks for letting me rant and rave for a bit.  Can't wait until I join the loser's bench perhaps in late May or early June.
Kevin H.
on 4/16/12 8:57 pm - Baltimore, MD
VSG on 02/06/12
 Best of luck to you on your journey!

 
  

Daviegrandma
on 4/16/12 10:10 pm - Davie, FL
There is room for you on the bench... enjoy the journey...
                
louisamay
on 4/16/12 11:07 pm
VSG on 04/27/12
What would you like people to tell you?  Decide, and let them know.

"Would you like to help me?"

No matter whether they do or not, who can say no?

"What I need is for you to tell me from time to time.  My doctor and I have the rest under advisement already. Thanks!"

Maybe a simple "You go, girl!" Give them something simple to say instead, and they may be relieved to know what to say (if they were only trying to be helpful).


[I'm not gaining weight. I keep lowering my goal!] [I LOVE MY SLEEVE!]

                  

    
anninva
on 4/16/12 11:47 pm - Arlington, VA
VSG on 01/10/11 with
okay, this isn't constructive, but in my head i would just be saying "suck it!!!!".  waiting for you on the losers' bench -- there's a space just for you!!!!  good luck and try to ignor the idiots.  many helpful suggestions above.  mine feels kinda good to think though!!!!  LOL

  Ann             LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat           

 

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

rhearob
on 4/16/12 11:48 pm - TN
 Lynn,

You will do this and it will help you.  You have had a hard row to hoe with your journey but you are a fighter and you will come out better than ever before.  WLS saved my life, turned me around, and I love life again.  It has the power to do the same for you.

We had a great couple of groups last night at CMC with Dr. Livengoods psych session and Kathy's lap band group before that.  There were a number of new patients there asking for support and information from the others - Hope to see you there one month.


_____________________________________________________________________
 160 lbs lost. Surgeons Goal Reached in 33 weeks.  My Goal in 37 Weeks.

VSG: 11/2/2011; LBL+Thigh Lift+BL: 10/3/2012; Brach+Mastopexy:  7/22/2013

BriarRose
on 4/17/12 12:51 am
Most people cannot see beyond what is familiar to them. THEY can lose weight with taking an extra walk...you cannot. I have severe arthritis and before surgery walked with a cane, at about 5 months after surgery, AND increasing exercise, I was able to walk most of the time without one. HOWEVER weight loss will not cure arthritis. I have had to tell people this repeatedly. They expect some kind of magic to descend out of the heavens that will regenerate soft tissue and cartilidge. That doesn't happen.

So, don't expect wls to "cure" people's stupidity ! And do try to exercise, even if it is all upper body while sitting in a chair -- it will help you to tone, and to help your metabolism too. I started out at Curves, doing only upper body machines, and swaying to the music on the recovery boards. Now, I can actually jog on the boards and do all but 2 machines ! Still will need knee replacements....but at 120 pounds less....they will last longer !

Get out there, move as much as you can, start a lower calorie diet NOW, and get yourself in shape for surgery !

YOU CAN DO THIS!
Briar Rose  
High Wt 300 lbs.  Pre-op Wt loss 34 lbs.   
Nikkal
on 4/17/12 10:42 am
VSG on 07/18/13
 amen, sister!

I've got rheumatoid arthritis, had it since I was 20 or earlier. No amount of weight loss is going to cure that. It might help slow the development of osteo in my knees, but I was warned I was at risk for that in my teens!

I've used a cane as needed since I was 22 or so...and I was told back then I might be in a wheelchair by 35 (I'm 43 on Saturday and not quite there yet)

but that IS one reason for wanting to take this step now, while I have no comorbidities other than snoring (not apnea yet) and the onset of osteo.  If I end up in a wheelchair I am NOT going to be the fat chick in the chair - the one everybody looks at and thinks "if she'd lose the weight she could probably walk"

the fact that most of the excess weight can be attributed to the arthritis and not the other way around doesn't occur to those people...


diane S.
on 4/17/12 2:55 am
Boy some people can be such jerks. A smart retort might be "congratulations, you are the 10,000th person to tell me that"

but smart retorts don't educate anyone so you might just reply that your medical conditions obviously prevent you from taking their advice but you and your physician have a plan and are addressing your health issues and they can help by being supportive and not giving unrealistic advice.

anyway, good luck with your surgery. I guaranty you will be glad you did it.  diane

      
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Shagdoll
on 4/17/12 3:37 am
(Hugs) to you Lynne
I agree with you 100%. If diet & exercise were so easy, no one would have a weight problem. Life throws us curve balls & we do our best to adjust. Sometimes we just need that little extra push or in our case a weight loss tool to help us get over a big hurtle. I wish you the best of luck with everything.
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