skinny girl problems !! (so nice to have them lol )

 OK so once I hit the 180 mark its like a switch went off and turned on a neon sign that said I'm available over my head ! Ive never had a real relationship and don't have a ton of experience with men. I have always been the girl that hung out with all of the guys and was a ton of fun but nothing more. 

When I started my journey I decided that I needed to workout to reach my goal (25lbs to go!! ) and had absolutely no idea how to do it. I went to the gym and signed up for a personal trainer and the one that was assigned to me  HONESTLY is  the best looking man I have ever seen in real life. So over the last year he has not only trained me but taught me how to work out on my own,  held me accountable, and  helped me break plateaus. He never asked me how much I weighed or  how much I want to loose. So in a place where I have felt completely vulnerable he has been amazing.  

Its easy to see that my connection to him is much more then just him being a trainer. He really has helped my changed my life. I don't think that I would have lost weight as consistently as I have without him and my body definitely wouldn't look as good as it does if I didn't have him telling me what to work on every week. 

So here is my problem HE WANTS TO HANG OUT !  He keeps inviting me out to bars, parties, beach or inviting himself to things that I am going to ?!?! I have somehow managed to thwart all of his attempts but I don't know what to do? 

Please keep in mind he is a gorgeous personal trainer that i have seen "hangout" with pretty much every young woman he trains. I don't know how to politely say I'm not the kind of girl that can handle "hanging out" without sounding presumptuous and it really just comes down to me not wanting to do anything that would mess up the relationship we have now . 

Please give me your opinions I know I sound a little crazy but I just don't know what to do and I do feel bad blowing him off every week.

 From a guys perspective, be sure you and he are on the same page and that your emotions are clear.

You say he "hangs out" with about every young woman he trains.  In that case he probably sees it as something casual with no deeper connotations.

He helped you change your life.  That clearly has a deep emotional connection to you closely tied to you transformation.  For him, its his job.  You most likely see your relationship with him in a VERY different light than he see's it.  

Honesty is always the best policy.  First, Honesty with yourself.  Sit down and work through your own feelings - How do you feel about him?  Are you infatuated?  Flattered? Lusting?  just wanting to be friends?  How do you feel about the situation - excited?  Nervous?

If you did hang out and he tried to take it further would you have the emotional strength to put the brakes on?  How would that situation make you feel?

Run through the scenarios in your head.  Role play them.

Then when you are ready, be honest with him.  IF you are ready to go hang out with him in a purely platonic friend way, let him know that.  Ask him if he's OK with that.  Don't lay a bunch of drama with it, just smile and add "just as friends" and give him a playful slap on the bicep or something.  Keep it light.  IF he asks again or why just as friends then you can explain that you just went through this powerful transformation, he was a huge part of that, and you aren't sure youre ready for anything more.  

First, just work through and make sure you understand what you're feeling.  Thats the best advice I could give.

Best advice rob!!!!

 wow thats really good advice thanks ! 

And that is kickass advice.

I would trust your intuition. If you witness his behavior with other women, and it makes you feel that he may be a 'player'... trust yourself. That little voice is always right. Be kind, be grateful... but know that you don't owe him anything beyond that.

 I have a friend who is a personal trainer (not mine), and she always says guys personal trainers (especially good looking ones) are total players (she used a stronger word :-), and for him he is probably just looking to score.   And she was right, as i was in a similar situation once (after losing a lot of weight, and being asked to hang out by a gorgeous trainer from the gym, i thought it was a date (I was in heaven after years not having anyone, here I was going out with a gorgeous man!!!  he had other plans...)  

So you can feel flattered about that (I know I  did!), but don't wonder too much if he is asking you out, he is not. Those guys work with people all the time, so they naturally very sociable and because they know they are good looking, they rarely get rejected, so they ask everyone they know to hang out with them. He is probably more intrigued by the fact that you have not "hang out" with him yet, but you might be disappointed if you do (if not hurt). 

So, best to keep your relationship professional, that way you can still enjoy his company without all the pain that goes with hanging out with personal trainers.  

As far as how to tell him that, just be casual and non-committal. Good luck!  And enjoy the attention!

Your instincts are spot on.  I would listen to them.  You have created a very important relationship with this trainer.  You trust him, believe in him, look up to him ( in certain respects), and depend on his good judgment.  This relationship is not bilateral.  You pay him money, and he provides his expertise and services.  If you go out with him, or even just hang out, the relationship changes and it can never be changed back.  A new, dual relationship would be created, where you must take into account each others feelings and deal with them in a social situation.  Only grief can come from this.  Tell him, that you think he would be fun to hang out with, but that is not the type of relationship you want.  Tell him that he has been a very important part in your recovery, and you don't want to rock that boat.  Tell him that the relationship that you already have is just to important to you.  Say it with a smile and all should be just fine.

 I vote for a combination of Rob's advice and completly trusting your instincts that this guy is a man *****  

Hang out & let your hair down. Thats what a normal life would be if we werent stuck inside our refridgerator doors. lol.

Hanging out doesn't mean dating, and if the eye candys good to look at why not!