Telling Family

Hello All,

I have been overweight all of my life, and this summer I finally decided that I needed to make a serious change with the help of weight loss surgery. Initially, I thought I would keep my decision a secret, but I realized that since I am single with no kids or spouse, someone in my family needed to know. So I told my best friend, my 69 year old mother. She was sooo happy for me, and very supportive. I was shocked! After she approved I didn't care what anyone else thought. So with my surgery coming up on Tuesday, I decided to tell my brother, his response was soo hurtful. He told me that the surgery was sooo dangerous, and the sound of him saying NO, NO, NO, keeps ringing in my head. I was doing so well mentally with handling my anxiety, and keeping positive about being put to sleep for surgery for the first time in my life. Now I'm feeling kind of sad, and I know my brother is wrong but it still hurts.

I am having mine on Tues too!  We will hit the looser bench together!!  Instead of hearing NO!NO!NO! Try to hear me telling you GO!GO!GO! from all the way down here on La!!!!  You need to be healthy, just stay strong.  He loves you and is worried, it make take time.  But when he sees your OK and even better than before he may become your biggest supporter.  Maybe go over today and teach him about it a little bit.  Show him how safe and the benifits... 
Congrats Girl!

Thanks! This is sooo encouraging! I really appreciate your kind words!  See you on the loosers bench! 

The risks of dying from co-mobidities are very real when we're overweight. Teach him about all the things you can prevent like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and heart disease to just name a few. On top of that your ability to move, exercise and be healthy are important in sustaining and lengthening your life. Once you're through the surgery, which I'm sure will go fine, he'll be much better with your decision I'm sure. YOU are the only one who can decide what is best for YOU! The risks of surgery are so miniscule compare to the risks of so many different obesity health risks. Good luck on your surgery and we'll see you soon on the loser's bench!!

Thank You Soo Much!

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR UPCOMING SURGERY DATE. I HAVE ALSO BEEN OVERWEIGHT ALL MY LIFE. I DECIDED TO HAVE MY SURGERY APRIL 9, 2012 AND I HAD A FEW NEGATIVE COMMENTS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS. TODAY I AM DOWN 110 POUNDS AND I ALL HEAR IS POSTIVE COMMENTS EVEN FROM THE ONES WHO WERE NEGATIVE AT FIRST. SO DONT LET WHAT ANYONE SAYS DETER YOU FROM YOUR DECISION.  I FEEL GREAT, NO HEALTH PROBLEMS AND I LOOK FANTASTIC!!!!!! CONGRATS TO YOU AGAIN AND I AM MOVING OVER TO WELCOME YOU TO THE LOSERS BENCH!!!

 The bottom line it is your decision! Even though we want the support of friends and family only you can decide what is right for you! I quit worrying about what others thought along time ago. It is not the " easy way out" - it is only a tool . You still have to eat correctly and exercise. There are risk to surgery but more risk to diabetes, hypertension, etc. I was completely at peace with my decision by the time surgery came. I will pray you find that same inner peace. Good luck- keep your head up and stick to your guns.

Try not to be hurt - he loves you and scared of losing you.  He probably knows nothing about the advances made in WLS procedures.  I'm sure he doesn't realize that the average mortality rate from the procedure is .5% or less.  Most people think of 10 - 20 years ago, before procedures were done laproscopically and the mortality rate was so much higher.  My suggestion is to take his reaction as a sign of love, and if you can educate him, if you can't just accept him just like you want him to accept you!

You will so love your sleeve - it will totally transform your life! 

Yeah, I know how you feel. I knew going into it that the negative would out weigh the positive so I made the decision at that point to tell only those that needed to know and a few friends that I wanted to know....One friend informed me of the surgery she had it done in 2011, the other friend hade gastric bypass 10 yrs ago and I surprised when her reaction was "you dont need that" my other 3 friends was very negative in their reaction, however one has since been advised by her doctor that the surgery is ideal for her due to heart and high bp issues(VSG for her in Nov.) and the other remains negative but says she would be supportive of my decision, well I stopped talking to her about it months ago. She doesnt even know of my approval or surgery date. My husband at first (unitl this week) was saying he will support me but was very negative and upset that I was moving forward even though "HE SAID" I didnt need it. Come to find out he is afraid something will happen to me. We have since talked and he is helping me get what I will need in the house and is showing so much love. As for other family, my parents, brothers and so on, they know NOTHING and I hate that I have to do it this way, but they wont understand. Diabetes runs in the family and for the most part, we are all some large ppl. I think they will better understand later, because at that point it will be informational to them and it will be done and they will hear me better. My father is known for thinking the worst of everything so with my own fears and nervousness,  I dont need/ want his added on as well.....as stated in previous post its a personal decision.

I have not told one of my sisters becuz we have been estranged for awhile, extended family don't know. Only 2 bff's know and my bf outside of my parents....I have been asked what I've done (I'm 12 1/2 weeks post op) I just say diet exercise, my nut, and personal trainer, I just leave out the surgery... It's no ones business at the end of the day.. I work so hard and I just don't won't to hear the negativity.. I don't owe anyone my full weight loss story at all that is how I see it... But I do tell medical professionals who are addressing my health issues...