My response to my brother's "you did it the easy way" comment

sarytyr
on 10/16/12 1:45 am - Round Rock, TX
VSG on 02/17/11 with
My mother was having a discussion with my younger brother (who at 47 battles with binge eating and his weight) how much weight I had lost and he replied that I did it the easy way.  Now I know that it was probably just a defensive reaction on his part but as we all know this is not an uncommon reaction to our WLS.  Here is my reply:

Hi baby brother, Just wanted to shoot you a quick note concerning a conversation I had with mom this morning. I hear that you think that I lost my weight "the easy way" because I had surgery. I understand that there are many people that think that, I know that you love me and didn't mean anything bad by that but wanted to give you some insight to my decision.

You are right, having surgery was a tool that made it easier for me to eat right and prevents me from disordered binging. I still have to eat the right foods to nourish my body, deal with what to do with my emotions now that I can't use food as a crutch (massive depression for 6 months following), and get proper exercise to increase my fitness and health. Having the surgery was less about losing the weight than having a REAL chance of keeping it off and not struggling with an unhealthy weight as I age. I had spent 20 years being more than 70 lbs over a healthy weight even when I trained hard and completed several triathlons, I believe that was enough to determine "the hard way" was not going to be successful for me. I see how hard it still is for our mom - I wanted a different relationship with food, not counting WW points still at the age of 70+. By having this surgery I displayed strength not weakness in advocating for my future to not accept less than optimal health and fitness because of my inability to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. I didn't want my weight to be a factor in how I am able to live the rest of my life. Because of this surgery, I no longer need my CPAP, my BP is normal, depression and anxiety is completed gone and I believe losing weight helped my doctor find my breast cancer early since it was such low grade that it could not be found on mammogram and could have hidden in my breast becoming very large before it was found and I know having lost 60 lbs at the time helped me get through cancer treatment.

This surgery left me with a much smaller stomach but does not affect how my body digests what I eat. I could gain weight easily if I grazed and ate high calorie foods consistently. What I can no longer do is scarf down 2+ slices of pizza at one sitting, I can no longer shove large quantities of food down my throat only to be hit with the "what have I just done" guilt. I eat my food slowly and have to pay attention to when I have had enough to eat because even one extra bite can be uncomfortable, you see my stomach no longer stretches - that part was removed during surgery which also reduced my hunger by at least 1/2 by decreasing the amount of grehlin my body produces. I now eat 1500-1800 calories most days totally in the normal range for my size/weight, being sure to get lean protein and healthy veggies - the only thing I really can't eat much of is bread and to be honest, by now, I don't really miss it anymore. I don't eat perfectly, I still like sweets but it is easy to eat these in moderation now. I even enjoy a beer now and then as long as it is not with a meal. The quantity that I eat no longer draws attention and eating out with friends is more about the company than the food. I work out 6 days a week doing everything from yoga to spin class to strength training and running. Before I had surgery I weighed at least 262 lbs (probably more from time to time) I have lost nearly 95 lbs as of this morning. I still plan on losing 10 lbs more. I now believe I can be the example of all the nutrition advice I have given to my children over the years - I now can follow those guidelines myself instead of just preaching them.

I love you Rick and even if WLS is not something you would ever consider yourself I hope you can respect that I took advantage of a tool that was available to me and nothing more. It doesn't mean I didn't work just as hard over the past 20 months for the progress I have made because it was never about what was easier. It was about
what was going to work for me to get healthy for the rest of my life.

~*Sandy*~ Ht 5'7" HW 262/SW 254/GW 160/CW 155
                
       
      

   

Lisa1023
on 10/16/12 1:52 am
VSG on 03/05/13
sing it!   well said.  and so true.  good for you.
favrow812
on 10/16/12 1:52 am - Olathe, KS
VSG on 02/20/12
good for you! and way to keep it classy and not automatically get defensive from his defensive comment!

There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way.
  

 
(deactivated member)
on 10/16/12 1:54 am
Beautifully said, with love, self respect and valuable information.  I can't wait to read how he responds back to you on this. 
Randi59
on 10/16/12 1:55 am
Beautifully written. Good luck on your continued success. I'm scheduled for tomorrow morning.
sarytyr
on 10/16/12 2:57 am - Round Rock, TX
VSG on 02/17/11 with
Best wishes for you and a successful surgery!!! You're going to do great!

~*Sandy*~ Ht 5'7" HW 262/SW 254/GW 160/CW 155
                
       
      

   

Randi59
on 10/16/12 4:14 am
Thanks - I'm excited & nervous.
jacknbean3
on 10/16/12 2:01 am
Amen!!!! Beautifully said!!! I may need to copy and paste and send that to a few people I know!!!!
  
I'm 5'5"~HW 299(day I delivered my son 12/05) preop wt 269...11lbs lost preop diet...CW 193.8**ONEDERLAND - BABY!!** GW 150(I think???) 
I'm BACK!!! Been through HELL!! Getting Back to Onederland CW 210 UUGGH!!!
kitsyb
on 10/16/12 2:02 am - Mobile, AL
VSG on 01/23/12
Very well said
  

    
Keith L.
on 10/16/12 2:04 am - Navarre, FL
VSG on 09/28/12 with
Tell your brother to go on a liquid diet for 4 weeks and get back to you on the "easy" way. Getting WLS is no different than going to Home Depot and buying a better hammer. Its a tool, not a cure.

VSG: 9/28/2012 - Dr. Sergio Verboonen  My Food/Recipe Blog - MyBigFatFoodie.com

?My Fitness Pal Profile ?View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com

 

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