Identity Crisis?

Hey guys! So I'm three days away from the big day and am getting those jittery nerves. To help i was trying to visualize myself at goal weight. Only problem is, I've never been thin. My whole life I've been overweight, so when i hit goal, i wont be able to say "i havent been this size since HS.." etc..

So then I started worrying about who will i be when I'm at goal? So much of this is psychological and its really messing with my head the thought of no longer having this body as a cushion to hide behind. Should I see a therapist throughout my journey? Has anyone felt like this?

Counseling would be good, especially since you see this issue coming for you.

 

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I'm 4 days out from surgery (5/30) and I have had some of the same thoughts...I haven't seen a counselor yet but I'm going to find one after surgery.  I have been so much more aware of the emotional side of things so I am on this forum every day and I've started going to a local support group (my surgery is 7 hours away but the bariatric support group in my town is open to anyone). 

The fact that you are aware is the first and best step!!!  Good luck with surgery!

Seeing a therapist is a great idea if you feel you would like that support.

It can be hard to visualise the goal. Like you, I have been overweight since childhood so struggled to visualise myself at a normal size. What I did was take it in stages. I started by visualising my smallest size that I remembered as an adult. Once I got there, I then went for getting into a size 18, then a 16 which, when I started, was like a totally foreign concept to me. Im now a 14/16 (US 10/12) and it's still a head game. I get my pants out of the closet and look at then and can't quite work out how they are actually going to fit. But they do!

Mentally I'm still the same person, but just WAY happier not feeling like the odd one out in a group and I don't care if people look at me when I'm walking down the street as I don't feel judged anymore. I love seeing myself in photos now as I look like every one else, rather than looking at myself in disgust at how big I am. That's a really liberating feeling.

This journey is definitely more mental than physical, so getting some help to understand the changes you are going to go through is a great idea, as are support groups where other people will be going through the same things and will totally "get" how your are feeling.

In the past, I always felt like I had such a huge mountain to climb with so much to lose. So for me, setting short term goals and then resetting when I got there was the best approach as it made it real and achievable for me. And meant I celebrated the successes rather than focusing or stressing about how far I still had to go

Me...I have definitely had the same feelings. I have been through therapy a couple of times to deal with this issue and my fat has always been my shield and protection. Now that is is going away again, I find myself face to face with so many emotional issues. This time, though, I know what to look for and I walk myself through everything using the tricks that my therapist taught me. This is the 3rd time that I am losing a major amount of weight, so I have been down this road before. But, I think I am doing a better job dealing with the emotional side of the journey. I am more self aware and my self esteem has risen 10-fold. I feel great! I would strongly recommend therapy and a live support group to help you through the process. I will be thinking about you on your big day. Feel free to PM me any time.

I would strongly recommend support groups or one-on-one therapy. Humans are prone to self-sabotage and it's one thing to get this surgery, another to stay on track to lose the weight, and even another to keep the weight off afterwards. Our brains can screw us up at any stage.

If you even suspect you need help, then you will most likely benefit greatly from it.

BTW, I was a heavy child too, and at 54 I am looking at finally being a normal weight for the first time since I was 7. It can be scary. It's also amazing to look in the mirror and begin to see the real me. I am amazed at how much the weight determined my facial features. (You can see what I mean in my before and during photos!)

I am learning to recognize myself all over again, but since it's been gradual it's been an easy transition. But body dysmorphia is a real issue for many people losing large amounts of weight. The brain needs to catch up. It takes time.

Don't let fear of the future stop you. Just keep going forward and know that there is help when you need it.

Best of luck!