Rhearobs 18+ Month Update

So its been a while Now.  I had my Surgery in November 2011.  I reached Goal in June/July 2013.  

It has been one HELL of a ride.

Lets re-cap.  When I had my surgery I was 343 lbs.  I had way out of control Diabetes.  I was taking hundreds of dollars in diabetic meds per MONTH.  I had hypertension, was losing my teeth, and going blind from cataracts in both eyes.

I was dying.  Not Slowly.

So where am I now?  Healthier than I have ever been.  Freaking sick of having surgeries and using all of my vacation for medical procedures.  I have had 5 surgeries not including my sleeve.  I am having the sixth on July 21st (Brachioplasty + mastopexy) to remove the last of my extra skin.  I am still recovering and on restriction from a hernia operation last month.

I have been maintaining for a year now.  I fluctuate around 180-185 lbs.  My lowest weight was 171.  When I can run regularly I maintain about 5 lbs lighter.  I don't freak out about that much any more.  I trust myself now to maintain and do what I need to do.  I also accept that I am someone whose weight fluctuates more than most.  I keep an eye on it.  I should only weigh weekly, but I can't help it.  Accepting my nature is something I have learned as well.

So what are the lessons of my journey so far:

1.  To thine own self be true.  It takes real courage and strength to face yourself, to look at your own soul and own motivations.  You must not make excuses and accept half truths.  The only way to get healthy physically is to develop a healthy relationship with yourself.

2.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  When we all get the surgery we all try to become Obesity Scouts.  We throw around terms like Ghrelin and Restriction, we talk about Duodenal Switches and Malabsorption like we are trying to earn our bariatric merit badge.  Its fine to understand the mechanics of our weight loss and be informed.  That only helps.  But I would offer that we need to focus on what it all really means.  All the surgery really did for me was level the playing field.  For the first time in my life My body wasn't fighting me to lose the weight and the biology and the Chemistry were on my side - briefly.  What that gave me was not the time to get my M.D.; it gave me time to get my ph.d in ME and focus on what I really needed to get a grip on.  I had issues with rejection and loneliness that drove my addictive behavior.  I will never NOT have those issues, but I have healthy tools in dealing with them.  Tools that don't involve a large Pizza and pounds of Potatoes.

3.  Weight Loss is not the goal.  Weight Loss is the side effect.  My goal is not to be skinny (though I still love it when someone calls me that - especially Calvin Klein now that he MY *****).  My goal is to have a healthy, happy, and LONG life with the people I love and who love me.  I have an active life now.  My favorite thing in the world is a long walk on a summer evening with Thomas around a local lake, or if I am alone a long walk around my neighborhood listening to soft jazz.  An early morning run.  I have an active life now.  I can do things I could never do before and I love things I never would have before.  There is so much joy in my life.  Thats what I achieved.

4.  Sex after weight loss - OMFG.  Nuff Said.

5.  Perfection doesn't exist.  **** happens, we **** up every now and then, get over it.  The trick is to understand why you make the decisions you make - both when you make good ones and when you make bad ones.  You can learn from good behaviors and develop tools to reinforce them.  YOu can learn from your bad decisions and develop better tools for dealing with those situations too.  Our journey is a learning journey.  We must learn about ourselves, about our motivations and our emotions.  Thats really how we get better.

So with that, I will close for now.  This has been a long post and a long absence.  I hope to not be a stranger so much any more.  I am still learning.  Now that my employer is deploying me again I have to learn to balance my travels with the requirements of continuing to maintain.  If I may not always make it to group I must at least make a better effort to stay in touch on here.  Sharing on here was one of my great tools for reinforcing good habits.

Love and best success to all of you!

Haha thanks for sharing, can't wait to dance in your shoes!

Bariatric Merit Badge. I love it. 

Great post. I am very happy for you. Congrats and good luck in your last surgery. 

Thanks for all your great posts and great advice over the past 9 months (for me anyway). Look forward to seeing more of you around here. 

Great post Rob and congratulations on all of the success you have had. Also want to thank you for your encouragement and guidance in the past as you helped me reach my goal. Wishing you all the very best in the future!!! Barb

What a great post!  Healthy, happy and inspiring!! 

It's nice to hear from you again, Rob.  Thanks for a great post!

Welcome back, I missed you.

Good to see you back!!  Glad you're doing well!

This was one of the best posts I've seen!  "Weight loss is not the goal.  Weight loss is the side effect."  I LOVE that!

I seriously missed hearing your voice on here.  You are clearly in a great place with yourself and with your food and that is so awesome to hear!!!!

Welcome back, I hope you keep posting.