"Normal" people

While responding to another post this afternoon I was reminded of some thoughts I used to have at the beginning of my journey:

"Normal" people don't have to do this

I wish I was "Normal"

Everything would be OK if I was just "Normal"

So how doe we define "Normal".  Webster's defines it as "Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected."  There are a couple of other ways to define that in a word:  Average or Boring.

In this context though I think its more accurate to define it as being how the other half lives. You know:  Them.  The Skinny People.  The people who can eat whatever they want and never fight 5 lbs of fat.  Don't you just hate them?

Or is it Jealousy?  Maybe Fear.  Maybe we feel unfairly treated because we are not THEM.  We feel excluded.  Judged.  Mocked.

I wish I could just feel normal.  Just once.

When I got to goal, I kept expecting people to somehow realize I was a fraud.  I was not a "real" skinny person.  I was one of the dorks sitting at the cool kids table.  Cue the slushy in my face.

In maintenance I exhibit exactly the same behaviors and skills as that skinny ***** who never fought five pounds in her life.  I just learned them and practiced them later in life.  The only issues that anyone has with me are the ones I bring to the table with me.  No one knows I lost 160 lbs until I tell them.  (And yes I DO tell people who are interested).

Heres the thing.  We all have challenges in our lives.  Mine was weight.  Other people can't do math.  Some people are tone deaf (usually those are the ones singing, but I digress).  I eat and exercise in exactly the same way as someone who has never had a weight issue.  I do the same things to maintain myself that they do.  There is no magic that they possess that I lack.

I am under no particular burden to manage my health and weight.  I have no cross to bear.  There is no Scarlet "F" embroidered on my label marking me as formerly fat.  I maintain my diet and exercise because I choose to.  I like the way I feel now.  I like the way my clothes fit.  I like doing the things I can do that I never could before.

So the upshot:  I am normal, boring, average.  

So, besides the physical advantage of having a smaller stomach, which makes it easier. how did you mentally trick yourself into making food choices as a skinny person makes?  What keeps you on the path everyday, avoiding the 'bad' foods, and gravitating towards eating veggies and chicken breast? 

There is no trick.  None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.

I make the choices that lets me do the things I want to do.

Making those choices is easier because I did the hard head work during weight loss.  I got to a point where my food is just food.  I constantly need the comfort of food.  If I feel an emotional need to eat I stop and deal with the emotions.

I also know my triggers.  As I said in a post this weekend, I know sugary chocolate combinations turn on my carb cravings instantly.  I know how to detox from those.  What makes me willing to go through that de-tox process as hard as it can be?  I know what the cost is for giving into my cravings and gaining all my weight back.  I know that if I do that, I will not be able to do all of the things I enjoy.  I know I will get sick again.  I know I will die.

None of us will make perfect choices all the time.  What we have to do is to learn from the bad choices we make why we made that choice.  Thats the only way we get to make the better choice next time.  Feeling guilty over the bad choice does no good.  Beating ourselves up over a bad choice does no good.  Those feelings just poison us and stop us from learning and making better choices next time.

As for the chicken - I love it.  I make chicken in a different style every day.  I have some favorites.  I do everything I can to be creative in the kitchen and I really enjoy the hell out of it.  Chicken can be whatever you want to make it - Thats why I eat it every day other than the health benefits.

And what a great feeling that must be!  I'm getting glimpses of it at this point...thanks for the post!

"... normal, boring, average" and awesome!!

Love the post.

What is interesting to me, is that at one point in my life, I appeared to be one of those people.  However, in 1983, when I was 5' 4", buxom and weighed 123 lbs I was considered overweight by my employer (we had a very particular uniform).  So, at a weight most of us women would out a body part for, I was still not "normal"...how whack is that???  I can remember after my first baby eating nothing but green beans until I got to my pre-baby weight of 117.  Wow.  nothing normal about that. 

Oh, and I assumed you were the commander of the OH cool kids table!

Anne

First of all normal, boring and average are not words I would generally associate with you!

I don't know what the story is with your Thomas, but I will tell you that living with a "Normie" does take it's toll on me sometimes. My Ron eats like the rest of the men in his family - whatever the **** he wants whenever he wants it! He is 6 feet tall and weighs 175-180. This is the man who will munch down a Hostess apple pie in the middle of the afternoon, just because, or pick up a Clark bar at the hardware store and eat it on the way home because that's just what he does.

I have found that no, I can't eat like he does. If I did, I'd be back up over 200 pounds already. I have to eat more like all my skinny ***** lady friends! Seriously. Like them, I watch what I eat. I exercise at least 5 days a week. I push my plate away before I am emotionally done sometimes. It's the price I must pay for being thin.

I think that this weight thing is bell curve-ish in a way. I, on the one far side, am metabolically challenged and can eat far fewer calories than Ron, who evidently lives on the opposite side of the curve than I. He can eat virtually anything, exercise very little and maintain his weight with little effort at all. Then there are all the people who fit in between us making up the curve part.

My problem was that I just thought for years that Ron was the average. We once went on vacation. We ate the same things - though I was far more cautious than he - did the same activities, though I swam a bit more than he did and guess what? At the end of the week he had lost 2 pounds and I had gained 5! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to do all the things I do to maintain my weight. It is empowering. I have never had this type of control of my eating before. I still am far from perfect, but I am learning and it gets easier as time goes by. Like you, I love the way I feel, clothes fit and being as active as I am today.

But, for me I can not begin to believe I am normal - even if I may be by your definition. For me that idea of me being normal is the mental mind **** that will take me right back to obese. God knows how many times it's taken me there already!

Thanks!

I understand what you are saying about "Normal" being a mind ****  Thomas is a Skinny-Mini too.  The one thing I have noticed is that if he starts putting on weight - what does he do?  He exercises more or cuts out the junk food.

Just the same thing do if I start getting out of my comfort zone with my weight.

The key difference is the junk food.  For me it might be something carb-o-licious like tortilla or bread.  For him its the Hostess Apple Pie or Honey Bun.

The degrees of difference seem vast when I get in his car and smell that wrapper he forgot to throw away, LOL.

Ron does the same - cuts out the junk every so often. Then he'll go on a smoothie kick - lots of fruit and yogurt. It seems to work for him. He will even forget to eat which still just floors me! (I had periods of that early out post op, but not anymore!)

LOVE this!  I have found myself battling this mentality for years....If I could just quit smoking, I'd be normal.  If I could just lose weight, I'd be normal.  If I could just get a better job, I'd be normal....blah blah.  I think I'm finally grasping the concept that I am normal just the way I am.  I just have made some pretty effed up decision in my life, which I have done a pretty fantastic job learning from & moving on!

Thanks!

I needed to hear this today!