Marriage after Sleeve

I have read on blogs and places that alot of WLS patients end up divorcing after their surgeries. My husband is completely supportive and I feel our relationship will be even stronger after surgery since I will feel better about myself and will want to go places and do things.

 

I have been around the boards for a few years, and yes there are posts about divorces post surgery.  However, there are also posts about the marriage improving.  My hubby did not want me to do it- scared to death.  I did it anyway.  He realized a few days post op I was struggling, so he purged the house and went on the diet with me.  He lost more weight faster than I did over 4 months.  We became closer than ever.  

My hubby was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease about a year ago and he went cold turkey on to healthy foods. In the past year, he's lost 60 lbs and is maintaining in sizes that he wore in high school.

Because I was in limbo with my appeal at the beginning of this year, I really was not in the headspace to diet (and was faced with the reality of needing to GAIN weight to qualify). I know I wasn't as supportive as I could have been during the first half of this year. He wanted me to diet with him. I told him no, it was his journey. This was a giant flipflop from a conversation we had late last year when I decided to go for the surgery. I asked him the same and he said no, it was my journey. There was no retaliation there, just a reality check. Like the poster above, it really is better when you do it together.

It sounds like you have an important team member already standing by your side. Good for you!

Laurie

PS - here is a was/is image of hubby and me taken at my work Christmas parties in 2012 and 2013, to illustrate the power of teamwork. Hopefully this link'll work.

wow!!! what a difference a year makes! Congrats you both look phenomenal!

Great story and awesome picture.It is great to hear good posts.

I agree with Happy, there are a lot of posts about people who have issues with their relationships after WLS. I think that has a lot to do with the relationship before WLS. Sometimes people settle with who they are with based on who they are at that time. I had a friend who was heavy her whole life and lost over 100 lbs and just went bananas, sleeping with her teenaged sons, friends...just because she was getting the attention. I felt differently about losing weight, I have always felt like I acted like the "real" me regardless of weight...now I am just more able to do that in the way I would like to because I am smaller and that has taken away a lot of barriers for me.

My husband also lost weight with me, he did not have VSG. I think our relationship is better but we still have our issues. My husband has always dated bigger girls as well so that weighed on my mind but I did this surgery for me...and to live longer for our son so I didnt let that bother me for long. 

 

Best of luck to you!

Generally a good marriage gets better and a bad one gets worse.

Kelly-Anne

My thoughts exactly.

My husband and i have only drawn closer since my surgery. Im happier, our sex life is better. Def has done amazing things for us.

This is encouraging. DH and i  have already weathered some of the worst storms--raising a very mentally handicapped child, raising another with bipolar disorder, DH nearly dying 3 times from heart failure, septic shock, and pneumonia. He is 100% on board with this surgery.