Well, I learned a few things today

I am 5 weeks postop tomorrow, so I'm pretty well back to real life. Still struggling with the fluids, but i'm getting about 50gms protein from food now. I had to go on some home visits that required me to drive about 60 miles from home (I'm a nurse.) When I got up this morning I was mildly  nauseous, so i took some Zofran, grabbed my protein drink and went to work. I wisely packed two little packages of tuna salad and chicken salad for later.  I forgot to take my vitamins, but i found some in my purse. Unfortunately, things when downhill from there.

By 3pm I had ingested exactly 32 ounces of fluid. There is no way i would be able to get in an additional 32 ounces by 11pm, although I've made a valiant effort.  I'm really glad I brought the little tins of tuna/chicken salad. I was able to take time out to eat them between visits. Unfortunately, I totally forgot the calcium so I'm woefully behind in that too. On the way home, the traffic was hideous (I live in the metro-Atlanta area--traffic is always hideous) so I decided to go to Cracker Barrel, get some breakfast for supper, and wait out the worst of the traffic. I was very good--I got an eggbeater and 1 turkey sausage patty, with cheese grits to help me get that down.  I did great with the protein, got most of it down with the help of a small amount of grits. 

Afterward I decided to look around in the store area and that was my downfall.  I was really surprised at how the malted milkballs were calling my name!  And the moonpies!  I should have left IMMEDIATELY, as soon as I realized that I was in my own personal crack house.  Instead, I shopped around looking for a blouse and a toy for my son.  I landed in front of some Lindt caramel truffles and my hand reached out and got one. I had several opportunities to put it back, but I bought it anyway and I ate it as soon as I got in the car. And it was delicious, might I add.

I was delightfully full, as opposed to overfull which has been a problem a couple of times--I'm learning still.  By the time I reached home it was time to start drinking water again.  No problem.  Had a few cashews for a snack. And then my DH broke out the Cherry Garcia!  Holy cow. What caught me by surprise is that I really wanted some of that ice cream, even though Cherry Garcia isn't normally my thing. DH  asked me if I wanted some and I said YES. What in the heck was i thinking?  I did manage to only take a couple small bites, but seriously, what the heck happened here? Geez. I know it wasn't a huge amount, but I  know it's a slippery slope. I was really shocked at how easily I slipped into old habits.

Okay, tomorrow is another day. I have got to find a way to get my water in, take all my vits and calcium every day, and always be prepared with acceptable soft foods when I leave the house.   I am going to have to watch my playgrounds and playmates, and be prepared to leave immediately when I find myself distracted by my former drugs of choice.  Nobody forced me to go off plan. I can do bad all by myself.

Vigilence is my new watch word.  Obviously, I cannot turn my back on myself for a second. I am not going to jeopardize this gift by allowing myself to go off plan, even a little bit, this early into my journey.

Eh, don't beat yourself up over it. It was one truffle and a couple bites of ice cream. It may seem bad, but compare that to how you would have eaten months ago. Seems better now, huh? And at least you took a moment to step back and think about it. I'd say you did pretty well, especially for being on the road all day.

HEAR YE! HEAR YE!  you had surgery on the stomach not your brain so whatever justpickupwhere you leftoff at and remember you  cannot eat a whole carton of Ice Cream.. MY favcorite is rocky road but the sugar pain hurts just tooo bad, so I don't look atthe Icecream andIjust had surgery You were awesome

 

leprowl2828

Sounds like you have done your soul searching! I like your phrase : can't turn your back on yourself.

It is a struggle to stick to the plan at times. We can do this! Hang on tight and find some new playmates😊.

Hi,

I'm wondering if you are having cravings for sweets because of carbs.  I have to keep my carb intake really low, or food cravings overwhelm me.  If I keep my carbs under 25 a day, I can resist most treats.  the problem is that the more carbs you eat, the more you crave more. 

If you aren't already, you might try keeping your carbs very low for a few days and see if it helps with resisting these treats.

best of luck,

Carol

I keep my carbs pretty low, usually under 25gm/day, for exactly that reason. I think that's why i have done so well thus far.  I dropped almost all the carbs when I had surgery. I'm on soft foods still and sometimes I need a carb to help me carry the food down. Usually that's a bit of potato (but not a whole potato!) In this case, it was some grits, but not a lot.  I think the problem is, once I give in on one thing it just opens the door to other things. I ate a bon-bon, so it just greased the shute for more junk.  I saw my psychiatrist this a.m. and we hammered out a plan for me to always have acceptable food in the car with me, especially when I'm on home visits.  I just cannot allow myself to give in to KFC, McDonald's or QuickTrip just because it's the only thing available. I made a committement with my psychiatrist to NOT eat in the car from now on. Water only.

I don't think Cracker Barrel was a bad choice. They have several things on the menu that are fairly low carb and low cal, especially given that i'm only eating about 2 ounces at a time.  My problem started when I was roaming around in the store part. I would have never gotten that candy if my DH or DD was there. Never.  And that goes right back to my former "using" behavior: eating in secret and eating in the car so no one will know how much I'm eating. So, from now on I will either go to Cracker Barrel WITH my DH or if I do go to CB by myself, I will refrain from shopping, pay my bill and leave immediately.

Just my two cents...maybe your DH can eat that ice cream out of your sight. I know that some people say you have to just adjust to others eating junk food around you, but I'm sure if you explained to your DH that you had already went off plan earlier that day, that he would be sympathetic and proud of you for getting back on track and eat his ice cream somewhere else. Also...boundaries. They are important. I understand that no one can shove that food in your mouth without your permission, but holy cow..at least he can not offer you a dang bite. That would be a good boundary. No Offering Of Junk Food. Do Not Feed The WLS Warrior. 

I had to laugh when I read your post...I think I was standing right next to you the entire day.  Just remember when a bad day was the whole container of ice cream and 6 or 7 candies and that was before breakfast?  I can.  Your're doing a great job!  As a former Georgia girl I know all to well the call of Cracker Barrel, It's like the Waffle House, nothing good inside for me.  From another poodle lover (standards).

OMG, yes!  There was a time when I could polish off a box of chocolate covered cherries in about 4 hours and follow it up with a tub of movie popcorn! 

Good to hear from another poodle lover. My last one was a Standard Poodle. Awesomely regal dog and smarter than anyone in the household. He was great with my severely handicapped child, too. He passed about 3 years ago. I rescued a half dead Bichon-Min. Poodle about a year ago. I never had a small dog before, but I am really surprised at how much fun this little doggy is.

Shame on your DH for offering you some of that ice cream!