Surgery on Monday (question about stress)

This past two weeks have gone by so fast. My surgery is scheduled for Monday morning I have to be at the hospital at 8:30. I had my last appointment before surgery with the doctor and my nutritionist on Tuesday. At the doctors office I was down 6 pounds. Unofficially as of today I'm down 10 pounds. I really haven't had any problems with Pre-Op diet. My question is about stress, I am a stress eater so it has been hard. I got a call almost two weeks ago that my father was in the hospital and that he wasn't doing well we thought it was his heart  so I flew to Pennsylvania from Florida to be with him., after I was in Pennsylvania my father was diagnosed with stage 4 inoperable cancer he has a large tumor that's pressing on his heart causing his heart problems, I flew back to Florida this past Sunday it was so hard getting on the plane. Sorry this is so long.  I asked the surgeon and he told me that as long as I follow the plan even if I  was under a lot of stress I would still lose weight. This has been so stressful for me some of my family understands why i could not cancel my surgery , but some are very upset with me for not canceling it. If I canceled it I would  have to wait another six months to a year to have the surgery. So has anybody else been under a lot of stress at the time they had surgery? I know everyone gets nervous and stressed before surgery. But I mean outside stressors? I really really need this to go well. So I can heal and get back up to Pennsylvania with my father. My father totally understands why I had to come back and have surgery now. I'm so worried about him and I'm also worried about how I will do after the surgery because of the stress any thoughts? Thank you so much for listening I just had to vent.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's health problems.  I can only imagine the stress you feel.  I agree that you should go ahead with your surgery.  You will be stronger and healthier down the road when your dad will need you even more than now.  Plus he will be happy that you are healthier.  In a sense, its a gift to him.  I know I'd be so pleased to see my child moving forward in a positive direction! 

I am an emotional eater, too, and I was fortunate to have little stress during my weight loss process.  But I think you will manage fine.  It might help to look for ways of dealing with stress to replace food.  I've been knitting up a storm this year. It keeps my hands busy and its rewarding to have the results of my efforts to share with family and friends.   I also use prayer and meditation to calm me. 

best of luck,

Carol

Other members of your family might be upset with you - but it sounds like your father understands and would want you to take this important step in getting healthy. This would be an excellent time to seek out a therapist so that you can deal with the stress. If you're an emotional eater, those urges won't go away after surgery. It may be even MORE difficult to deal with your emotions because you'll know that you aren't able to physically soothe your stress with food.

Hang in there!

There have been many successful vets on here who changed their relationship with food despite life stresses.  This isn't a vanity surgery. This is a health choice. You know the saying, everyone has an opinion but the one that counts right now is YOURS. You are doing this for your future, to address health issues. It's painful when a beloved parent is terminally ill. You feel like ..you can't do anything..just be there for them. You will be up and about after your surgery and well enough to board a flight within days. Will it be more fatiguing to do so fresh from surgery? Sure it will be, but it's not impossible. Watch the weight of your luggage because you will have a weight limit for a few weeks..I think mine was nothing over 15lbs.  Sleep on the flight to get your rest.

As for stress eating, that won't physically be possible. You can drink plenty of clear fluids though. When you signed up for surgery, what was your Plan B if you couldn't stress eat? For me, I decided to exercise. This is something that you can do, also. Walking is what most surgeons recommend for the first 4 weeks, resistance exercise is at 6 weeks and many recommend on waiting until 8 weeks before any torso twisting to avoid herniation. 

So..what is your Plan B if food is no longer an option? Do you knit? crochet? Pray? Go for a walk? Take a nap? Play video games? Read? Only you can answer that. 

In the meantime, cut yourself some slack. One day at a time. If that's too much, one hour at a time. Baby steps are still carrying you forward. Sending positive thoughts your way. 

Let me begin by saying that I am so sorry that your father is going through these health issues. I have not lost a parent yet, but I nursed both of my grandparents in their final months until we lost them 3 weeks apart, so I feel safe saying that I have had a taste of the kind of stress you are feeling. Nothing will make it easier unless you are able to find some inner peace. Meditate, pray, or do whatever you need to do because this sort of thing can bring your emotions to a spiral into depression if you aren't careful. 

As for around the time of surgery, I lost my job 2 weeks before and was racing the clock before my insurance ran out (I was a teacher and had insurance through August. Had surgery in July). I was definitely worried about the future - not knowing how I would pay for all of my follow-up care because there's no way I would end up with such good insurance... Let me tell you though. Once surgery was behind me, all of that stress went away simply because I didn't have time for it. My thoughts were consumed with healing, hydration, watching the scale zoom down, etc. I realized that I'd done what was best for me and everything else that would come, I could deal with. 

You will catch some flack from your family, but once they see your health improving, they will get behind you 100%. If you know that your dad is behind you, who else matters?

Best of luck. With everything!

Thank you all so much for your replies it means a lot to me to have such a great support network here on OH. I do have a plan to not stress eat and replace it with getting up and walking as much as possible ,I had planned on walking in the pool as soon as my incisions healed because of orthopedic issues but if I am in Pennsylvania I will have to rethink that. But I do enjoy solitaire and it relieves stress for me so I plan on playing a lot of it. Also I do see a therapist whom I have a great relationship with who helps me tremendously with my stress and my stress eating so I guess I do have things in order I am just a worrier. Again thank you all for your support it means a lot to me and the OH board actually calms me down also I like to read all of the posts although lately I have not had much time to be on here. I will post an  update after surgery. Make room for me on the losers bench...Dawn

I am so sorry about your Dad.  I almost lost my Dad 3 years ago, he was on his death bed with Doctors telling us he wasn't going to make it.  By the GRACE of God he's still here.  Prayer makes a difference.  I was heavy then 248 but had never considered surgery before at that time and family and friends at the hospital made all kinds of rude/cruel comments about how heavy I had gotten; some whispered but I heard it all.   I've been up & down with my weight my whole life. 

Anyway about the family members that are upset with you; just let it go LET IT GO! your Dad understands and wants you to get this surgery so you will be healthy.  He loves you so he's on your side.  After your surgery you will have to wait until you heal a little and get your Dr. to approve you flying.  I'm not sure if I stress eat, emotional eat or just eat when bored but that's going to be a life-long struggle to get that under control.  I do know that I was so stressed and worried about my Dad back then that I smoked a few cigarettes - after I had been quit for years, I also dropped weight then too because of the cruel comments I guess; not sure but I've since gained em all back and then some. 

I know this reply is long but right not some things you can do to help with stress that I've been doing- not so much to help with stress but just to be at peace; I pray & meditate nightly.  I don't mean OMM chanting but I sit down play soft classical music like Chopin or wind chime sounds, light candles pray & thank God first then concentrate on the blessings in my life.  I'm a Christian but I'm not a close-minded one; meaning some folks say just pray and read the bible but I think prayer along with meditation is a life-changing tool & great help to many.  Get your mind at peace and the obstacles you face in life may seem slightly easier to deal with.  Right now you have to focus on yourself because stress makes a lot of people sick, you have to focus on healing.  Do that for yourself & get strong for your Dad.

here are some amazing bible verses about dealing with stress & being at peace http://lynndove.com/2012/05/23/25-encouraging-bible-verses-for-stress/

I've been listening to this nightly for a while; relaxing wind chime sounds http://youtu.be/uSqHrZgiwRM

I use prayer candles-you know the ones with Jesus on em & prayers on the back? you can buy those at Wal-Mart or Family Dollar & other places too

+ I have really gotten into candle colors & their meanings so when I pray & focus on my blessings I seem to do it better

http://www.gone-ta-pott.com/candlecolormeanings.html

My hubby kids with me & calls we witchy woman sometimes because he doesn't understand, but whatever I'm praying & thanking God!

Hi: Sorry to hear about your dad, praying for the best for him. If your dad is okay with you having surgery, then everything is okay. I'm a dad of six, and if any of my kids needed to do anything to improve their health I would give them my blessings to go ahead with the surgery. Don't stress, place your truth in the Lord and he will do. Will keep you and your dad in my prayers.

PS: Don't worry what others may say, this is for you only.

88

I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad.  

My dad was also diagnosed with stage IV cancer in October.  He has chemo every third week and I drive up from MD to PA each chemo week to be with my parents, help out, go to chemo with my dad so my mom can still work, and cook for them.  I told them my plans for surgery during his first chemo week in November.  

Thankfully my parents are 100% supportive of my choice and strongly feel that, even though my dad is battling cancer, I also have a killer hovering on my doorstep that I need to battle with.  And putting my battle on hold for my dad's would be really foolish and shortsighted.  I need to do this so that I can be a healthier me to cope with the hurdles that my dad's cancer is adding to my life.  

So we've lined up a dear family friend to be with my parents during my dad's 6th chemo cycle, since I'll be recovering from my surgery then.  It's also, hopefully, his last chemo cycle since his cancer has been responding really well - even though it will never be completely gone.  It bothers me that I won't be there - I feel like I've been training him for a marathon and I'm abandoning him as he crosses the finish line!  But we all know I need to do this and that the timing will never be good.  Life will always get in the way.  

I highly, highly recommend that you find a therapist you can talk with.  Between my dad's cancer -and- this WLS thing?  I think I'd be well and truly screwed if I hadn't worked to find one for myself.  

I wish you and your family all the best of everything.  And I hope that even though the cancer is inoperable that other methods of treatment might bring your dad some relief.  

I am so sorry to hear about your dear father.  I hope that you do go thru surgery and that you are able to just focus on yourself for a few days of recovery--just you!  Then you'll be stronger and ready for the fight with what your dad is going thru.  We're all thinking about you and wishing you the best!