Insurance approved, but don't think hubby really gets how this is gonna have to work.

Hello, I am new to this site.  I have been doing research for quite a while now, and finally decided that this was what I had to do to get myself healthy again and stay that way.  I have already jumped through all the hoops with seminar, PCP visits, pych examine, & met with the dietician. Insurance has just approved me and I have my first appointment with the surgeon on May 12. Hopefully having surgery the last of May or first of June.  My husband and I both love summer time, camping with friends and so forth.  He says he really wants to help me with my journey, but just yesterday he was talking about having friends over for a big cookout and get together next month. He doesn't know how to use the grill so that would be all me doing the cooking.  I told him it would be very hard for me, but I just don't think he understands it yet.  Any suggestions on how to get him to understand?  I don't want to make this all about me because I have heard it can be very stressful on a marriage, but I have to do something about my weight. Thanks!!!

Time to teach him how to use the grill!  

It is all about you for awhile, and that's what I'd tell him.  You're either going to be preparing for surgery or fresh out of surgery.  Either way, doing a cook-out will be stressful.  I'd just smile and tell him no.  Or suggest that it'll have to happen before you start whatever pre-op diet your surgeon puts you on.

Ok so you have the next 30 days to realize and help him realize YES it is about you ..... You are doing this for you!!!! and of course your family... so within the next 30 days bbq with him have him see how its done and explain to him why your doing it with him.... tell him straight out "it will 6-8 weeks before I can lift anything over 10 lbs and stand to long and strech .. I will need your help so right now Im going to teach you so we can do this together This is a Journey that I want to take with you!!!!"  he will understand... give him time.......

Best of Luck!!!!!

Bring him to any appointments you have with the surgeon, support groups, etc.   That's the only way he'll have a clue as to how your life is going to change.

And grilling should be a MAN thing. Time he learned how to do it.  

That was my first thought - a man who doesn't grill   That's how I get out of doing the cooking all summer!!!   I have never cooked anything on the grill either, but I'm sure I could - and I'm sure the OP's husband could too!

I know, right?  

That's almost enough of a reason to leave if the man won't grill.

He did go with me to the seminar and he is going with me to see the surgeon.  I haven't asked him to attend a support group yet, but that is also a great idea. Thanks!  Oh, he can grill hotdogs!! , but thats about the only thing.. LOL!  If you don't want everything burnt that is. 

There's lots of time to practice between now and then :)

I agree with what was said above ... the second it starts to get warm I make sure the BBQ is pulled out and thats it till it gets cold (for the most part) he cooks almost every night!!!!!    Make him feel even more important!!!I bought My hubby a metal BBQ case fill with all diffrent kinds of BBQ tools ... ( kind of looks like the case from deal or no deal) OMG he loves it and no one can touch his tools LMAO.... little does he know I dont want to !!!! lmao!!!!