Update and a rant...sort of...

I have not posted in a while. I am doing well, am down 120lbs which is 30lbs from the half way point, and losing steadily every week. Today has just been a weird day for me. I just started noticing how much smaller I am but earlier had a complete meltdown and anxiety attack. It has been a long while since I have had one of them.

FINE-****** up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional

I am also having a hard time with friendships, loneliness, and feeling desirable.  Another cousin of mine just announced that he and his wife are expecting. My brother is probably going to be engaged within the next month. I feel like Debbie from "Adams Family Values" with her slide show and rant of "What about me? Don't I deserve love?" Not to mention I feel my biological clock ticking into oblivion.  I am internalizing a lot of this...but in a way there are so many changes going on I would rather stay cocooned until I am ready to emerge as a butterfly.

So sorry you're having a tough day. If it helps, it's normal for all of us to have those weird feelings. You are changing how you identify with the rest of the world, but more importantly how you identify as yourself to yourself. That's pretty big ****! 

The self doubt and feelings of insecurity are part of the process, albeit an unpleasant part. All I can tell you is that what you posted seems perfectly normal to me. I know I've gone through much of what you mentioned. 

You're also "peeling" off the protective layer of fat you've been cloistered in. That can be downright terrifying. 

If you are able, I encourage you to seek out an affordable therapist to help you navigate the new life you are creating for yourself. 

Most definitely cloistered. I am working on it with my group support.

Hi CH. I've been looking for a post from you. The last time you posted, you had gone through a very rough time, medically. When I don't see any posts, I know something is going on with you. Now you're going through a rough time, emotionally.

So glad to hear you're doing better physically and that you and your sleeve are working well together. I have no advice to give you that's better than kairk's, so I'm just going to wish you well and hope that you can work through your negative feelings as your weight continues to decline. I believe you will do fine.

It's quite a ride, this sleeve, isn't it?

psychoticparrot

It's like Pirates of the Caribbean and It's a Small World all rolled into one ride with a down hill log ride coupled with a tidal wave. 

Well put. 

psychoticparrot

Chubby Hubby!

Good to hear from you even if it is due to feelings of negativity.

You have lost a great deal of weight in a very short period of time...let your mind and emotions catch up to your body!

In terms of the social scene...I think even ppl without obesity struggle with relationships. I had assumed you were married based on your name, but if not when it is time you will get to where you want to be.

Stay confident and on course b/c I truly believe our emotions are what can lead us to 'relapse.'

Best of luck!

Kathy

I have not let that happen and I know it...the change is just too fast. I have always struggled with relationships. I am very single and my username is an homage to Ben and Jerry's ice cream...one of my favorite flavors was Chubby Hubby. Thankfully that flavor is retired. 

Funny how losing weight forces us to deal with our feelings, instead of stuffing them down our throats following by a ton of food.

Mood swings are common.  Try to focus on your achievements.  You've lost A LOT of weight in a short period of time.  I started as a heavy weight too, and it seemed like I would never feel comfortable in my skin.  Life does get better, believe me.  

Sometimes we think that the lives of others are easier when we look at things from the outside.  Everyone has challenges, even the soon to be engaged.  Spend this time remembering how far you've come.  You're doing great, dude.  Don't beat yourself up