I'm back on track

I must say, if you ask for help on this site,  you will get it. I'm back on track breakfast done, making a snack, lunch is prepared as I now go get ready to hit the farm/stable to ride my favorite horse. (talk about a workout ugh)

 Have a good day everyone.

I'm going to upload a pic when I get back from the farm.

So this may seem like a vain or silly reason to be happy about WLS. But, we had horses when our kids were little. Due to some job changes we moved and sold the horses when our daughter was small. She had grown up going to a stable and renting a horse to ride. About 5 years ago we both exceeded the weight allowance to ride at the stable. We both had the sleeve done in September. Last week we rode for the first time in 5 years!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!

This is so not silly or vain!!! I used to barrel race and horses have always been my passion. I've been too heavy to ride for years and years and it makes me depressed. I cannot wait until the day I can ride again!! 

that's awesome I'm so happy for you, no, whatever motivation it takes to get the job done, I say go for it.  BTW I'm doing dressage half pass yesterday and had an awesome lesson. I wear a sports bra. My instructor says, you look great, form on pt, great impulsion, wonderful frame up. Now lets talk about getting you in a pushup bra. Ugh, I hate them but guess what, after the gym today, I'm heading to maiden form to get measured and a new bra. My bobs hang low now. LOL have a great day

I asked you this last time you came back to OH because you were off track - what are you doing to take care of yourself?  What specific steps are you taking to get back on track, and to to stay on track?  

I'm taking one day at a time, and back on track thanks to the support I always get here, thank you.

I'm going to be completely blunt here, but I'm not sure you know what being back on track is.  You've been vague since the beginning and don't ever give details of the changes you're planning on making, you just make blanket statements that you're on the right track, that you need to fix things, etc.  

I've been following your posts since you joined, and I even went back and read through them all on Wednesday.  

You need to find a therapist - horseback riding and exercise is not therapy.  The medications you're taking are not therapy.  You need to figure out why you're sabotaging yourself, what the underlying causes of your obesity are, and work to address those.  I know you'll try to claim that antidepressants made you fat, but antidepressants have no calories - you're still the one putting food into your mouth.  You need to get that sorted out or no amount of getting "back on track" will work long term.  You'll just stay in the pattern of yo-yo dieting forever.  

You need to start logging and weighing what you eat.  Last time you appeared you weren't doing this, so I assume you're still not doing it.  You can't know what you need to change in your diet if you don't have an accurate assessment of what your diet is.  

You need to stop believing that exercise will fix your weight.  You can't outrun a bad diet and, in fact, most people who exercise a lot tend to eat extra calories which then offset any caloric deficit that might have come from exercise in the first place.  Exercise is great for your health, but your diet is what needs to be addressed for weight loss.  

You asked me, in a PM, about protein powders because you're allergic to dairy, soy, and eggs.  At this point in your process you don't need protein shakes.  You can be relying on dense proteins only - they will fill you up and help you reach your protein goals.  Eat chicken, fish, cow, pig - some of these even come in easy to eat forms for when you're out of the house.  Hemp and pea protein powders exist and might help if you're really attached to the idea of a protein shake.  

And, last but not least, work on getting back to what your basics are.  Here are mine.  Yours might be slightly different, but if you don't have a good grasp on what yours are, this might give you a good starting point.  Write them out and tape them to your mirror so you see them every day.  

1. Prioritize protein and water - especially with your days at the farm you must keep hydrated.  
2. Deprioritize carbs, especially the refined and processed ones
3. Make the most of healthy fats
4. Eat three meals a day with no snacks
      a. Do not drink while eating or for 30 minutes after eating
5. Avoid liquid calories (breakfast protein shake is the exception)
6. Weigh portions, log everything consumed - Lots of people use and love MyFitnessPal, that's probably what you should go with as well.  
7. Eat mindfully and with no distractions aside from real live people - With the parts of your lifestyle you've shared, this will be challenging.  Pick a table and eat at it for your meals.  Don't eat in front of the TV, or while you're mucking out a stall, or any other place that might be good for grabbing a bite to eat.  Be mindful.  Be aware of what you're putting into your body, the muscles involved in chewing, the sensations on your taste buds and the movement of your throat when you swallow.  
8. Move as much as possible
9. Weigh myself daily
10. Be kind to myself

I believe you can do this.  You seem like a pretty determined woman who, if she has a clear plan, can do the things she sets her mind to.  I think that determination will serve you well here, as long as you direct it toward yourself and your own success.  And believe me, I know it's really hard to do when the other people in your life need you.  My dad died while you were off OH, after a long and hard battle with cancer.  I put myself in maintenance for a year and stayed around 180.  Then I gained 10 pounds after he died in April.  I got my **** back together in June and I've lost 20 pounds and I'm still losing.  I'm living proof that you can fall off track, get back on it, and keep making progress so I'm not just talking out of my ass here.  

You can do it too.  

Some anti depressants do make you eat more. That is a known fact. 

They might increase hunger, but they do not literally force you to eat more.