Falling Apart!!!

allbygrace
on 2/27/19 7:51 pm
VSG on 12/08/14

The last 6 weeks have been difficult for me. You know, if my world is not settled or happy,,,,, I'm not happy. And when I'm not happy, I lose my focus and my world stops! My self esteem is pretty low. I have to get my focus back.... I can't give up and think ,,, what's the use? Need some kind encouraging words to help me get back on track. How do ya'll stay focus when your world around you falls apart?

mrsdworden
on 2/27/19 10:16 pm
VSG on 01/21/19

Ya know doll, i feel this so much. 2018 was the worst year of my life and 2019 isn't doing me much better. (Except for having this surgery-which is my happy thought right now) I'm so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. All i can really say is get up every day and dont let it win. Don't give up and give in. Every day you can try to control your thoughts and dont dwell on the horrible thoughts. Each minute you win back from the horrible dwelling is a huge victory and you should be proud of that. There are always other things you can check on (like medications that could cause depression etc), but it really is a work-out for your brain. Just hang in there and give it some effort every day and every time you do, you can be proud of yourself. You will have bad days and you will have good days, but you can get through this. I wont sit here and tell you i stay focused every minute of every day. Sometimes i give myself 10-15 minutes to dwell in the ****and then i shake it off and go do something. Wash my face, laundry, look at funny memes online....something "normal". My brain usually follows suit. I wish you the best and have faith you can find your way back.

AnnieG522
on 2/28/19 4:08 am
VSG on 10/05/17

When your world feels all upside discombobulated, it's hard to focus. All of us feel like that. If you have access to cognitive therapy, I would suggest you give it a try. It's practical tools for when you need to just have a plan to deal with anything.

I don't have an answer to self-esteem, except you are worthy to love and be loved. That goes for every soul on earth. You don't have to measure up, makeover, or change. You are enough, simply as you are.

Prayers that it all gets more manageable, and you find the music in life that gives you purpose and joy.

HW: 240 lbs CW: 205 lbs: SW: 199 lbs GW: 130 lbs
1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
5 MO = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0 (GOAL) 20 MO = 133
"At the evening of our life, we shall be judged by our love."

Gwen M.
on 2/28/19 5:31 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Life is a challenge. Are you seeing a therapist? I've find that mine, and the tools I've learned through therapy, really helps me to shore up my foundation so that I can make it through the hardest times.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

allbygrace
on 2/28/19 6:48 am
VSG on 12/08/14

Thank you "all" for the kind words..... I really consider myself a strong spiritual person but seems like I keep falling into this dark hole in my life which is causing me not to focus on myself with my weight issues. It was mentioned to maybe try 'cognitive therapy' and maybe seeing a therapist. This is all new to me and I will look into this. Right now, my husband is suffering from anxiety and depression and trying to find the right medication for it. Honestly, I don't know if it is .... my husband's depression that is pulling me down into my dark place or if I have my own issues? It's so hard to rise above this dark cloud in my home. Thank you again for all the comments. They have been so helpful!!

Gwen M.
on 2/28/19 12:46 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

Seeing someone you love struggle with depression and anxiety is definitely a challenge. Personally, I'm inclined to believe that everyone has their own issues and could benefit from therapy, however, even if your dark hole is only due to your husband's struggles, a therapist could help you figure out a way to cope with that in a healthier way.

I've found that a good starting point is going to your insurance website and seeing what providers are in your area.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

allbygrace
on 2/28/19 1:08 pm
VSG on 12/08/14

Thank you, Gwen...... I believe you are right. For the last 2 years I have tried to do this on my own. I do fine but when things get unsettled around me, I tend to crash into that depressed state which of course causes me to lose focus. I will look into seeing a therapist. Life is too short and I want to enjoy my blessed years I have left. I "will" come out of this and reach my goals. I really appreciate all those who have reached out with their support, prayers and hugs!

Pure_Prairie
on 2/28/19 9:05 am
VSG on 01/10/19

Oh dear AllbyGrace,

I have been weaning off my anti depressants and it has been a blue couple of weeks. Hubby has been cranky for his own reasons and I don't have the energy to try & boost him (& me) up. I am seeing a therapist weekly and I will share my top too coping mechanisms.

  1. A do to list with ONLY 3 things each day. I am using this to stay motivated on days I want to do nothing. It has built me up to see myself accomplishing things...even it is only 1 thing a day.
  2. Coloring. When my stress level is high and I just want to explode/implode, I sit down and just focus on the image (I pick larger images due to my vision) and the colors. It has been so useful and stress relieving.

Now having shared all of that, I just want to reach through the time and space of the internet and give you a big virtual hug! It is so hard to say, I hurt and I need help, so kudos to you for saying it "out loud."

HW: 183 Pre-Op: 171 Post WLS Month 1: 149 Month 2: 141 Month 3: 133

Surgeon's goal: 128 My Goal: 118

Julia S.
on 3/6/19 7:50 am, edited 3/5/19 11:51 pm - Beaverton, OR
RNY on 02/12/18

I don't have an answer to self-esteem, except you are worthy to love and be loved. That goes for every soul on earth. You don't have to measure up, makeover, or change. You are enough, simply as you are.

AnnieG522 Thank you so much for these words, they made me cry. I've copied them into a document so I won't forget them. As someone who is currently struggling I appreciate them more than you can imagine.

5'5" Age 62 HW 291 SW 275.8 CW 168.4

Gwen M.
on 3/6/19 3:07 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

Heya. You made this post about a week ago and I wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

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