Need to Vent - Sorry
I haven't written in a very long time though I do go on this site many times throughout the day. I am 5-1/2 years out after VSG starting weight was 267 lost 117lbs lowest weight was 145 lbs. In the last 2 years I have gained 40 lbs and am so scared that this weight keeps going up and up. I know it's all my own fault, eating the wrong things a lot of carbs, sweets I have no one to blame but myself. I know how to work around my sleeve, which has caused all of my problems. Meaning if I want to eat something that I know is not good and know that it can cause my sleeve not to be happy I just take my time in eating whatever it is even if it takes 45 mins or longer.
I know what I have to do - I just can't keep my mind in the right direction and it's killing me that I am gaining all this weight. I have had some sugeries since my VSG was done, had breast cancer, two foots surgeries, kidney surgery and my gallbladder out and I am not making excuses for all of these surgeries cause none of them have caused me to eat the wrong foods.
Sorry for venting, I just feel so hopeless and depressed about where I was and where I am now. My nephew is getting married in June in St. Thomas and I don' want to be this fat blob at the wedding. UGH!!!!!
So once again I started the day off in the right direction and hoping that I keep that way.
Thanks for letting me vent a bit.
on 11/5/15 10:46 am
Glad you've recognized what you're doing and working towards correcting that behavior. Good luck and you have 7 months to get those 40 lbs off. You can do it, you've done it before!
"one day at a time - one meal at a time. "
This is my motto. That does not excuse me to eat bad things... but one bad "meal" is not an excuse to eat badly for the rest of the day.
I no longer tell myself "I'll start tomorrow" , or "Monday, for sure on Monday".
I identified foods I call "unlimited". Foods that I give myself permission to eat if I get hungry, even if my daily caloric allowance is gone...
I identified foods that are my comfort foods but they are still less damaging to me than milk chocolate, M&M or butterfingers...
I chose "keto - Paleo " type diet - so fats and proteins are Okm - carbs - not so much. Even so called "healthy carbs" like fruits - caused me to crave more foods..
for me - my comfortfoods are:
- chicken, beef and pork - any type - with no sugar or carbs added.. (i.e. honey cured ham is not good for me..)
- nuts - mostly low carbs nuts like walnuts, pecans, macadamia...
- NSA pickles...
- some veggies - like cucumbers, zucchini, lettuce, spinach, .. - non starchy veggies .
- pork rinds..
- NSA almond butter
my "comfort foods" - more sinful.. are:
- NSA peanut butter (only organic - so when I eat that - I know it's a treat)
- SF preserves (yea - the splenda type)
- 85% or 90% chocolate
- fruits - berries only - and only in combination with fat- or nuts - only once a week...
- wine - on weekends..
When starting low carbs - I make sure I don't feel hungry... so for the first week or so _) I eat as much as I want - but I make sure I really limit carbs, and artificail sweeteners .( the last make me hungry)
week into the "diet" - I naturally get less hungry and my cravings are mostly gone... and if I think I am hungry- I look at the chicken and pickles - and if I don't want that - then I know I am not really hungry...but that my fat cells are mad at me - and they are trying to make me eat thing to feed the fat - not me...
I learned to identify hunger vs cravings...
once a week - or during crisis - I may eat 1/2 jar of PB or bake my own almond -coconut cookies and eat them...
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."