Binging since my husband passed

ckpointchickie
on 10/10/18 6:17 pm - IN
VSG on 11/20/12

Hi Friends,

VSG grad here. I had surgery in 2012. In the last year, I have had a glass or two of wine a night and have been carb binging. After going from 255 lbs down to 142 lbs (which was too thin for me according to friends and family). I did great until my husband passed in Jan 2017. But as the year went by, I am steadily increasing to my present weight of 185 lbs. So I have gained 43 lbs. The concensus is that I looked better around 155 lbs, which I was also comfortable with.

I know it is carb intake. I also know it is related to depression from my father dying and then shortly after, losing my husband. I still have a hard time digesting chicken unless I chew it into sawdust. I went from not being able to stomach fast food to now being able to eat fast food but in smaller quantities. Smaller quantities are good, but it is still not good nutrition. I know the moscato is high in carbs. And too boot, I top that off with buttered popcorn, which I would rather have than dinner.

So I renewed my log in here and also My Fitness Pal yesterday. I am going to get back to loving myself and not sitting on my sofa bingewatching Netflix and drinking two glasses of moscato per night. Tracking the carbs and calories has to be in my daily routine.

And checking in with O.H. We have to have accountability. We can't hide. That is why sites like this are good.

I just had to put myself back out there. For me and hopefully, for someone else that is struggling.

Laura in Texas
on 10/13/18 9:32 am
RNY on 09/17/08 with

I am so sorry for the loss of your father and your husband. I cannot imagine how tough that must be for you. Forgive yourself for gaining the weight. You did what you had to to get through the worst of times.

For me, I know I cannot cut back on too much or I will lose my mind and binge. Right now I need to lose 10 pounds of regain, but my mom is battling cancer and I am stressed. I am focusing on making good choices and maintaining my current weight for now. That is working for me. I know in the future I will work on losing the weight, but for now this works.

Figure out what works for you and do it. Best wishes!!

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

ckpointchickie
on 10/13/18 3:50 pm - IN
VSG on 11/20/12

Thank you Laura. I am back to recording my food diary and making sure I make time for physical activity. I'm also pursuing grief counseling because I think that is the missing piece of my puzzle.

Prayers and strength and best wishes to your mother and you. Make every day count. For her AND for you. Trust me, you will be much better for her if you take care of yourself.

Ladytazz
on 10/25/18 11:49 pm

I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry for your losses. Be gentle with yourself. You have suffered a lot of difficulties and you did the best you could to comfort yourself.

Now you can comfort yourself by doing things that make you feel good physically, not just emotionally. It sounds like you are making a good start. I know it's hard but it gets easier as time goes on.

I will keep you in my thoughts.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

ckpointchickie
on 10/26/18 8:52 am - IN
VSG on 11/20/12

Thank you. It is appreciated. Coming back to this concentration on my health gives me something to care about: me! It's been awhile and it actually feels good.

insideout
on 11/24/18 12:31 am

I'm sorry for your loss it's very hard when your love ones pass. The saying...this too will pass. Most of the time takes so long to pass. I know because I loss my mom 6 years ago along with 3 brothers and since then have gain so much weight. I can't seem to get back on track. So every now & then I come to obesity help for support because it's so hard to be normal since my rny. Good luck to you & my prayers for you. Stay healthy!

brenlee1965
on 1/1/19 4:47 am - New Berlin, NY
So sorry to hear about your losses. Praying for peace. It is so easy to fall back into the past of doing things that put the weight on us; I know all to well how that works. It does sound like you are putting things into focus and starting to work on YOU! So proud of you for making that step. Reaching out for help is the best thing any of can do; I just reached out for fellow re-gainers to help (I am hoping someone does). Wishing you the very best and keeping you in my thoughts.
 Bren                
ckpointchickie
on 1/9/19 12:19 pm - IN
VSG on 11/20/12

Thank you for the encouragement. In addition to getting back to encourage other VSG_ers, my brother had his surgery right after Christmas so we are teaming up for combined success. I can't wait for him to be as happy as I am that we do this for ourselves. Continued success to you. Enjoy this new chapter in your life!

tinalivesay
on 2/26/19 12:57 pm - Portland, OR

Im sorry to hear of the losses you have suffered. I lost my husband 5 yrs ago this week. I learned quickly that i can get sucked into eating what i shouldnt very quickly. I am still addicted to food. The good thing is you recognize what your doing. It will be hard to get back on track (im still trying to do it) but i also know that we can put weight on very quickly.

I will say a prayer for you. I am 17 yrs post rny-distal and in the last 8 months i have gained. Eating stuff i know i shouldnt etc. I know it is emotionally eating. Even though i lost Steve 5 years ago i have yet to deal with it. I know it is time and i am working on it. I cannot undue all my hard work.

[email protected]

ckpointchickie
on 3/1/19 5:35 pm - IN
VSG on 11/20/12

I dont know or understand why we put off dealing with loss. For myself, I think that my grief is real, but it is personal, but it is quiet. I think if I seek counseling, I will have to face it out loud.

My dietary vices are carbs in the form of moscato and popcorn of all things. Carbs are more prevalent for me in my diet because I digest many snack foods easier than whole foods. Dry cereal with no milk. Things like crackers etc. Pasta? No. Toast, but not bread. Why is this? I have no explanation.Chicken and beef are still difficult to digest. Grilled or baked fish is best for me. I love flounder. It is still a guessing game sometimes.

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