Dating and the WLS conversation...

pea305
on 3/11/12 3:18 am
Dating and the WLS conversation...

Hi all! I'm looking to get back in to the dating game. My question is when would be the natural time to mention the weight loss surgery journey?

It's such a HUGE part of my experience and one of the great accomplishments in life. However I'm not sure if it's taboo to mention it too early just like no discussing previous relationships too early or politics, etc. A lot of weight loss means loose skin my situation. I don't have the typical body of a size 8 woman. I think my fear is that it might make a judgmental.

Also I joke about having a "doggy bag lifestyle". Often i only eat half or a 1/4 of dinner. I even have concerns about perceptions of the guy paying for dinner yet I don't eat that much. Maybe I'm over analyzing.

Any advice?
artroxy blue
on 3/14/12 10:41 am - MA
RNY on 08/14/12
 I haven't had surgery yet, but I would think you want to be honest and up front. I'm not saying 1st date, but if you're starting to see someone on a more regular basis, and you feel comfortable, by all means tell him about your journey. it's a part of who you are, so don't try to hide it. Also, you don't always have to have dinner--go out for coffee and a walk, or bowling, or something else non-food related. If you're into it, go to the gym together. I dunno...I'm just throwing things out there. LOL

Good luck!
Adrianne_Dawn
on 5/1/12 2:28 pm - WA
RNY on 05/21/12
 So, I posted this EXACT same question and EVERYONE said to tell the guy right away.  Here is my thing - I think you should get to know him first.  Go on 4 or 5 dates and if on one of those dates you get into a serious type conversation and you feel it's time mention it.  WLS is only a part of who we are.  You want the guy to get to know who you are and not judge you on one tiny part of who you are. 

Don't worry about food - the skinny girls pretend to eat all the time and they don't worry. So why should we?! 

Anyways - Wait it out until it's the right moment.  

Hope that helps!? 
    

simmie78
on 3/29/13 9:48 pm

I date all the time and would NEVER mention it.  Guys do not want to hear about anything "heavy" in your life which would include your weight issues, family, money or work problems...they want to hear about what you like, what you are passionate about, how you spend your time - I would never go on a date skinny or fat and talk about my weight issues.  If they are my BF - and MONTHS have gone by, I would tell them.

So how do I handle eating?  Guess what ?  They don't really notice.  I'm 5 months out and I eat pretty normal - I order the best most healthy thing on the menu for me, I eat my protein first and do the best I can - I also eat really slowly...they just really don't pay too much attention.

Currently 180 - 76 lbs lost! Surgery 11/7/12, 36 years old, 5'8". I live in Hong Kong and it's a bit different here!

 

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