crystal W.
I never really had trouble with my weight until I stopped nursing my first baby. I gained 40 pounds while pregnant but lost all but 5 lbs within a couple months of his birth. After I stopped nursing it seemed I just ballooned over night. (Picture the chick who turned into a blueberry in the Willie Wonka movie, only without the cool color). My weight just went up & down over the next 3 pregnancies. My highest weight ever was about 270 and at 5' 1", it wasn't pretty. I could just kick myself for complaining I was fat at 135 lbs. What a dumb-ass!
Why is it so hard to eat normally? People always say food is comforting to them. Not me. I can't eat when I'm upset or nervous, so I don't recall ever feeling particularly comforted by food. But when I do eat, it's over the top amounts. It's probably that feast or famine effect. Growing up we would go weeks at a time when there was no food in the house. Once my older sister actually tried to make pancakes out of just flour and water. We ate them with mustard. Awful. Back then I couldn't eat very much at a time and the step-bastard, uh sorry, I meant step-father, would pile huge amounts of food on our plates whenever we actually had food, and tell us all the horrible things he was going to do us if we wasted it. So I was constantly either starving or being forced to consume mass amounts of food. When I got out on my own, I would actually get physical reactions, almost like a panic attack, if there was not a certain amount of food in my cupboards. I eventually got myself straightened out with that, but I still can't eat normal amounts. No matter how stuffed I feel, I can't stop eating till it's all gone. I keep working on that, too.
Anyway, I know 2007 is going to be an awesome year. I'm building a house, possibly this month (April), depending on the contractor's schedule; grandson #2 due Aug 6; and my manager said as soon as he gets the go ahead, I'll get promoted. Now just gotta cross my fingers and anything else possible that ins approval comes too.
I hope God doesn't realize I'm getting abundantly blessed this year and decide to revoke something.
