Sandy M.

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What happens when you put your head in the sand and ignore the basics?  Weight gain happens!  In one year I put on 20 pounds, which is absolutely ridiculous.  Part of that is my winter Seasonal Affective Disorder - I gravitate towards carbs, get sluggish and depressed until Spring rolls back around.  But really it's just taking my eye off the prize.

So I'm back to logging my meals (honestly even) in MyFitnessPal, focusing on the protein and ditching the nasty carbs.  I'm getting to know my body pretty well; I knew it would take three days of misery and cravings when I stopped the sugar, but then it would seem normal again.  The hunger really does lessen.  I'm doing 1200 calories a day, which is reasonable to lose weight, even though it will likely come off more slowly than when I was at 800 calories a day.

Summer is right around the corner, and I'm on moving from Texas to Minnesota, so stress will peak soon.  I need to get the tools back in my arsenal to keep on track so that I can enjoy long walks, 5Ks, water sports, and gardening in the hot sun.  

about the weight coming off more slowly the closer you get to goal!  I've been pretty serious on the food front since my last post (my exercise could be better), and the pounds are coming off, but really slowly!  I'm .2 pounds from a normal BMI, and about 11 pounds from my "ideal" weight.  I know I'm not done yet, but gosh darn it, this is the closest I've ever been!  

For the first time in my life, I don't have to constantly think about sucking in my stomach.  For the first time in my life, I'm wearing size 6 pants.  For the first time in my life I can walk up and down stairs at work all day without my knees complaining.  

For the first time in my life I feel skinny.  Yes, I said it - skinny.  I saw a friend of mine at work in the cafeteria line the other day, who just stared at me with a blank stare until I waved at her.  When she joined me for lunch, she said she looked at me but my face looked too skinny to be me.  When I look in the mirror, I still see me, but I guess others are seeing a new person.

I really, really, really, want to be at my ideal weight of 134 on my one year anniversary, which is May 8th.  I haven't seen my surgeon since last summer and I want him to be proud of me.  I want to be the poster child for WLS and let others know that losing 65% of your excess body weight may be the average, but 100% is absolutely achievable.  

I'm working on it!

So I knew that the winter months have historically gotten to me.  The food, starting around Halloween all through New Years, the lack of sunlight, missing my family - they all contribute to my general feeling of malaise, sluggishness, and feelings of doom.  This year I was more prepared than others, with a light box, Vitamin D, and enrolling at the Y for exercise.  My favorite exercise is walking outside in beautiful surroundings.  If I want to do that where I live now I have to drive 20 minutes first, and knowing myself the way I do, I just wouldn't do that.  I did try walking on the streets a couple of days, and got so discouraged by the garbage everywhere that I gave that up.  

The Y?  Haven't been since my orientation visit in October.  In hindsight, it wasn't such a good idea - they don't have a walking track, their pool is closed for the winter, and their exercise class schedule times cater to the stay-at-home Moms and elderly folks.  Plus, I've been lazy.  I have a treadmill in my house for Pete's sake!

I basically entered maintenance since October - I would gain a couple of pounds, lose those pounds, gain a couple more, and so on.  Every month or so I'd see 154.6 on the scale, which was my lowest ever weight, but then it would bounce up to 156 the next day.  Those "once a week" peanut butter cups became and every day treat, I was eating bread (what a novel thing to do - couldn't tolerate it with the lap band), and well, eating like most people around me except in smaller portions.  

A frequent reader of the OH boards, I knew what to do, and I chose not to do it.  I chose not to practice what the good folks on OH preach.  

And then one day I ran out of peanut butter cups and decided not to buy anymore.  And the bread was gone too.  I got back on the treadmill for 20 minutes.  Then the next day 35 minutes, then 45 minutes.  I have a 5K tomorrow, which I'm nowhere near ready for, but at least I'm back in the saddle again.

And lo and behold the miracle of miracles.  The scale inched down to 154.4, then 154.0.  And I woke up this morning to 153.0!  Eight more pounds before I'm in a normal range, 13 pounds to my goal.  I have a very long history of sabotaging myself, but I'd like to enter maintenance next time at 140 pounds.  

 

From May to October, I live in a camper in Minnesota (and work from there).  I'm blessed with trees, hills, tons of lakes and rivers, and scenic places to walk.  There is a county park about a mile and a half from me, and I walk or run there most days.  And if I'm feeling energetic, I go for a hike once I get there in the trails through the woods.  

A few years ago, I remember walking to the park and thinking that "oh my God, I can't do this", but also thinking "I wish I could experience this beauty every day".  

So right after my surgery, I made a commitment to myself that I was going to enjoy the outdoors more often.  And get fit.  For a 52 year old who has never been active her entire life, this is a challenge.  Add to that menopause, bad knees, and a hip that doesn't always cooperate with me and you have you have a recipe for a tough road.

I envied the young slim things that would run by in the park with their iPods, and thought, "I should do that".  So I started with the walking.  I signed up for my first 5K without knowing if I could walk 3.1 miles.  It turns out that walking to the park and back again happens to be 3.2 miles.  On the way, there are two benches overlooking the river and the lake, and at the park there are lots of picnic tables and shelters.  I used them a lot right off the bat to catch my breath and get off my feet.  The first time I walked to the park without stopping was a victory.  Then I walked there AND back without stopping.  I was ready for my first 5K, which was not timed but a lot of fun (I walked the whole way).  

Coming off the high of the 5K, I decided to try running.  Lots of people recommended the Couch to 5K plan, so I tried that.  Turns out even that was too challenging for me - I couldn't run 15 seconds, much less 1 minute at a time.  But I kept at it, and found other plans that start out with only 15 seconds of running at a time (Mayo Clinic).  Then someone posted a beginning running plan where you start out running one minute, walking three minutes.  By now, I could do that, so I started that plan.

I just started week 3 of the new plan, so I'm running one minute, walking one minute, repeat for 20 minutes.  This is where the C2K plan STARTS!  So I'm a slow learner, but when I look at where I came from, I'm ecstatic!  And I get to be outside enjoying nature, from deer, ducks, geese, to Great Blue Herons and bunny rabbits.  

I'm stretching out my Minnesota stay as long as I can (until they shut the water off), so I'll be here until the 12th of October.  Then I'll drive back to my permanent residence in Fort Worth for the next 7 months.  And although the scenery isn't as pretty, I'm determined that I will continue my quest to learn how to run.  And not on a treadmill - I'd die from boredom!

Some of my accomplishments this summer:

• Walked 2 5K's, both untimed.  
• Walked/ran 1 5K, timed (46:42 time)
• Repeat sleep study says I no longer have sleep apnea, therefore am not at a higher risk for stroke or heart attack
• Pants size went from 16 to 10, bra size 38C to 34DD
• Lost 38 pounds - 12 more pounds and I'll be a normal BMI

I feel healthy, strong, and confident enough to try anything.  

 

 

 

My BMI as of this morning says I'm out of the Obese range and into the Overweight range - whoo hoo!

Today I celebrate my one-month anniversary of revision from band to sleeve, and I'm doing great!  I've lost 19 pounds and I'm even training for a 5K.  I'm not sure my knees are going to cooperate, but I'm still exercising.

I'm getting a little bored with the food choices, and look forward to when I can eat "normal" food.  Although I rarely craved sweets in the past, since the sleeve I've been craving peanut butter cups.  I allow myself one a week as long as I stay under my calories for the day.

I started in a size 16 pant and am now in size 12.  

Here's to the new me!

I had my lap band removed and a revision to Gastric Sleeve on May 8, 2013.  I had it done in Fargo, ND since I live near there every summer.  As with prior surgeries, my chief issue after surgery was nausea.  I was able to stop the narcotic pain meds the first day and came home with liquid Tylenol, Prilosec, and Reglan.  

I don't regret my band.  It helped me lose 55 pounds.  But then the complications set in.  Acid Reflux, vomiting, nausea, lack of weight loss...

I finally went back to see my surgeon to ask him for an unfill.  I needed a break; every time I traveled (which is frequently), my symptoms got worse, until I had a hard time keeping water down.  He removed almost all of the fluid in my band and sent me for an upper GI.  The radiologist asked me to swallow the barium...then another swallow, and then again.  He finally said (with surprise), "nothing is getting through", meaning that even the barium was remaining in my esophagus.  He left to call my surgeon, who showed up immediately.  

The rest of the band has been unfilled, and the surgeon strongly recommends that the band be removed.  I have a small hiatal hernia and he believes the band has slipped.  He also believes that I will rapidly regain my weight unless I have a revision to VSG.  So we're waiting to see what my insurance company says.  If they don't cover it, I'll be out around $10,000 minimum.

 

Dear Sandy,

How often do you get a letter from your mother?  After talking to you on Saturday, I did a lot of serious thinking about your being raised in an alcoholic family.  I can't and your dad certainly can't relive the past, but I am so sorry to think you are suffering now.    Just remember it never was your fault, you were a child and any arguments we had were our own fault.  I am sorry and ask your forgiveness.  Please remember the happy times and also remember we were a product of the 1940's & 50's when everyone drank for socialability.

Your dad worked 7 days a week to make a living.  He wasn't a father until he was 41 and didn't have the patience or know how, but he dearly loved you, so proud of you in your many accomplishments in school and piano etc.  as I was and am today.  I will always be there for you Sandy, so pour your heart out if you want.  I always thought I was a good mother, worked full time at it until you were in 3rd grade, then put in 6 days a week at Hardware store, tried to have supper on table at 5:30, and we didn't drink every night.

As you were in your teen years your dad didn't have the stamina for anything and he read a lot of books.  I felt like an outcast too and was always put down about something, worked my butt off too.  Life isn't easy but we must have forgiveness.  

This little book I'm sending should lift your spirits.  I've gone through it many times and it is good therapy.  Am looking forward to your coming home Sandy, and sending you a big hug.

Love,

Mom

I've watched and listened to Oprah for a long time talking about abundance, and her gratitude journal, and the Law of Attraction.  I read The Secret and The Law of Attraction last summer, and started to conciously thank the Universe every day for the little miracles.  

In December, I decided to tackle paying off my mountain of debt.  I listen to and watch Dave Ramsey, and his methods seemed logical to me, so I started working my smallest debt first.  At the same time, I started a gratitude journal, writing down 5 things I'm grateful for every day.  Some days it was a struggle to find one thing, believe me!

Since I started this, I have received or am about to receive $24,700 I didn't expect, from five different sources.  And nobody died.  Just today, my income tax refund hit my checking account and my boss told me that I was about to get a $10,000 bonus for the stellar work I did in 2007.  That's on top of the approximately $10k I'll get next month for profit sharing.  

Oprah likes to say that God whispers to you, and if you don't listen, he bangs you upside the head.  God has been whispering to me for over a year, but it was only when I started putting my gratitude down in words on paper and put down my debt plan on paper that I got any traction.

I wrote a thank-you letter to Oprah tonight.  The principles she teaches truly are the key to "living your best life".  I am so grateful to her, my boss, and even the IRS!

I leave for India Sunday for about 10 days.  I might have to do a little shopping while I'm there in celebration of my windfall!