1stReneeMarie
Cinco De Mayo, more death and update!
May 04, 2010
Hello world.....I hope anyone reading this is doing great and is getting closer and closer to all their dreams coming true.
I have lost 106 pounds and feel much better in that dept. I feel like a melted candle but still.
As many of you know, I lost my beloved Joe on Nov.14Th-09 from a horrific motorcycle accident. And on 12-28-09,my precious great-nephew broad sided a Dept of Natural Resources year round dock while on a snow mobile and put his rib through his heart. Monday am May 3rd my nephew Jerry who never got over the death of Joe and many other problems took his own life at the age of 32.
I know that some say,gosh,sorry,but life is life. But you know....With all my various beliefs and such I am trying very hard to understand why I am not crying hysterically.Have I simply just become**comfortably numb**?? Is it God's way of keeping me from completely tearing into pieces at the seams? I cry each and every day for Joe.I miss him and still can't stand the thought of him being gone!
I actually and starting therapy May 11Th.Compile all this with lots of other stuff that I don't seem to be able to deal with any more and the therapist is going to need a BIG note pad!
Also in addition to all my other surgeries I am seeing the surgeon May 13Th to remove the bottom of my spine that has split and curled under all my hardware from the previous pine surgery. Then they will do the cervical through my throat and then on to the thoracic. I have indeed fell apart! Maybe all the fat used to hold me together!
And though my wonderful bariatric doc is pleased with the loss she found a hernia in my abd next to my pouch she needs to fix.
And yes I am still alone!
No other half. I know the Lord has someone out there for me.
I saw some one I would love to get to know and all I got was his plate info on his car. I wish I knew how to get his info from that!
I need a break......I don't even know what kind of break. A change....what kind?
Something new? What? Somethings gotta give! Gotta go, become new, move, stay, find, lose, I know I need to be held.
But those who know me well know I am a fighter. A stealth warrior in this world and some how I will be OK. Is it OK to just be OK your whole life?
Take care my OH world. I wish everyone well.
Renee
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About Me
Pataskala, OH
Location
29.2
BMI
Surgery
04/01/2009
Surgery Date
Jan 27, 2009
Member Since
