j. lynn

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Trying to import all the old information from my old profile.  There's a lot of data here that I'd rather not lose!

About me in general:
What does it take to be a pretty PERSON? I am told often that I have a pretty face. I am tired of being told that I have a pretty face, instead of being pretty. I am 25. I am about 280ish pounds (I don't own a scale) and 5'6". I wasn't overweight as a child, mostly because I was a competitive swimmer. I really starting gaining weight my senior year of high school and then on.

I am a computer programmer. I work on a team of 15, all men but me. :-) There are advantages to that...mostly because I don't have to deal with anyone else's PMS (Just my own!)


8/13/04:
I've been lurking for about a month and my eyes have been opened! sing with me now...I once was blind, but now I see... I am hoping/planning on having the Lap Band Surgery. I have my educational meeting in October. In November, I have my consultation. I am self-pay as my insurance company won't pay for this. Most of my blood tests and stuff will be covered though. Just not the surgery.

8/16/04:
About Lap Band
There are a few different types of weight loss surgery. They each work a bit differently and the results are different. One of the most popular ones is called RNY, where they cut your stomach to make a much smaller pouch that feeds into your intestines. They also shorten your intestines to prevent food from absorbing into your body as quickly. Depending on the person, they can either do the surgery laproscopically or open. I believe the surgery takes a couple of hours. From what I understand, most of the weight lost after this surgery is in what they call the "window of opportunity"-18-24 months after surgery. People can expect to lose 50-70% of their excess weight.

A newer surgery is called Lap Band. Most of these are performed laproscopically. They place a band around the top portion of your stomach to make it smaller (called a pouch). It makes your stomach like an upside down funnel. You have the full sized stomach, but the opening is alot smaller, so you feel full faster because you have to wait for the food to go through the funnel into the larger part of your stomach. The FDA approved this method in 2001 for the US, but it has been performed before that in Europe. Weight loss with this approach is slower, but there is no "window of opportunity". After surgery, people can get "fills". The band around the stomach is filled with saline and can be filled up to be tighter or emptied to be looser, giving the person some freedom.

Here are my reasons for having the lap-band:
1. My stomach/intestines will not be cut/staped/rearranged. If I ever had to have it reversed, it is much easier to remove the band than to re-cut the stomach.
2. I do not have to worry about malabsorption of my food and nutrients. All my nutrients will be absorbed the same as they are pre-surgically. People with RNY really have to watch their vitamins since their stomach and intestines don't absorb nearly as much. People with a lap-band have to watch their vitamins too because they can't eat as much, but what they do take in vitamin-wise will all be absorbed.
3. Weightloss is slower. This helps with skin not to be as saggy after the weight loss. It also helps me establish lifestyle changes instead of using the "window of opportunity". People who lose weight very quickly often get gallstones and then need their gall bladder removed. I'd like to avoid that.
4. The band can be adjusted if needed. If the weight isn't coming off well, the fill can be increased. If the weight is coming off too quickly, the fill can be decreased. If I ever get pregnant :-) and need to eat more, I can get an unfill. This is true even 10 years down the road.
5. Lower mortality rate by far.
6. Less complications post-surgical, since there are less changes in your body and no cuts.
7. Shorter hospital stay. Most Lap Band patients are in and out in a day, if they have a fairly early surgery time and no complications with anesthesia.


Here is information on Lap-Band:
http://wlssearch.com/surgicalweightloss.htm
http://www.nevdgp.org.au/geninf/std_misc/OBESITY_SURGERY.htm
http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/surgtype-forums/LapBand/about.html
http://www.lap-band.com/about.html
http://www.fda.gov/cdrh/mda/docs/p000008.html

8/19/04:
My PCP did some of my blood work (what she could and what we think insurance will pay for). She did my EKG in her office; turns out I've either had a heart attack (and not known it.....doubtful since I am only 25) or my heart beat is just abnormal. Fits me kind of well, actually; describes alot of my behavior. Normal for me; abnormal for most. :-)

I told my roommate the other day about my plans for surgery. I was dreading her reaction, so I wasn't planning on telling her. In fact, I am planning/hoping 2 of my friends that are going to study abroad in England next year. My plan was to tell my roommate that I was going to go visit them, but instead I was going to have surgery! I know it would be deceitful....

It kind of slipped out at Linens N Things. She's a nurse, so I thought she'd have a different perspective on it. She reacted alot different than I thought -- in a good way. She went over the medical information with me, so that was good.

So...most of my blood work will be done in a week or so, I have my psych consult scheduled for next Wednesday and I can go get my ABG any time. Of course, my surgery consult isn't until 11/11, so I have some time....to wait...and wait....

8/21/04:
When I told my roommate that I wasn't planning on telling her, she asked me how in the world I thought I'd be able to hide my surgery after it was over. I've thought of that and hopefully, I won't be able to hide a thing because I'll be losing weight!! I am not worried about people knowing I've had the surgery after the surgery is over. At that point, it's over. I can't hide it.

I've heard from people who have had babies; they're told not to tell people the names they've picked out before the baby is born. Kind of interesting that people would criticize the names they've picked out, but they do. If the baby is already named 'Inga', they won't say anything bad about it. I see the same thing with my surgery; there will be those that criticize it before I do it, but [hopefully] won't attack it afterwards.

I am not worried about people knowing after surgery what I've done, but it's still a private decision for me. If people notice my weight loss (and I certainly hope the loss is so obvious that they do!), I'll just tell them that I did it by eating less (which will be true). If they seem really interested, then I'll certainly share more information, but it's not something I need to get tatooed on my forehead.

Another reason I won't be telling many people before my surgery is that with my type of surgery, the weight loss is slower. I will start to lose weight right after the surgery, but it won't be hugely dramatic. It'll take some time. I don't really want to deal with "How much weight have you lost so far?", "What can you eat?", "How's your incision?" questions from many people.

Of course, I say this now, on August 21st when I haven't even met with the surgeon yet! Since I am a woman, my opinion is subject to change!

8/24/04:
Okay, financing this surgery is going to be by far my biggest obstacle. Sure, I've got options:
1) Credit Card. 20% interest? No thank you!
2) 401(k) loan. I'm young...I only have $12,000ish in there. You can only take out a 401(k) loan for 1/2 of your balance. $6,000 would only be a start...a good one, but a start. I found an article against this option though.
3) Home equity loan. I do own my home...well, I pay the bank. See that young thing again -- I don't have much equity--only about $5,000 if I am figuring it right. Course, you can take out a home equity loan for more than your equity is for.
4) 2nd job. Know anything that pay $40/hour besides prostitution? I'd donate sperm, but I am the wrong gender....
5) Medical Loan. I found a couple advertised from banks online. For 5 year loan at $15,000, the payment would be around $400/month. Rate is around 7.00%.
6) Combination. This will probably be the solution I have to go with. I just have to be careful that my payments on the loans each month aren't more than I can handle.

Then again, I could always quit the job I love and get a job I hate that'll cover the surgery or sell the house that allows me to keep the dog I love. I think my current plan is to become a pro poker player. I've been playing on Yahoo! and I am getting quite good. :-P

I think I am becoming frustrated because I want this. With every fiber of my being. I am sick of being this heavy. Sick of holding my family back on their vacations. Sick of being the fat daughter/sister/friend/girl. I know I am probably taking this whole process too quickly, but I feel hope. I've been thinking about this surgery for a long time, but never thought it would happen. I didn't think my family would go for it until my mom offered to pay. Well, I don't want her to pay, but since she said she was willing to pay, that has to mean she'll give her support. That kind of gave me the green light I needed to pursue this.

Since this surgery became a "reality" for me, I've felt such HOPE. There's a hope that my health problems might end. There's hope that my dress size won't match my age. There's hope that I can be normal. I heard someone once define "normal" as "Being what God designed you to be". God did NOT design me to be this heavy. I've tried to lose weight, but can't ever follow through. Statistically, 70% of all weight lost on diets are gained back anyway. Sure, I might get down to a healthier weight, but there's nothing to keep me there. I just feel hope when I think of getting a Lap Band. It will help me get to that lower weight healthily by making diet changes. It will keep me at the lower weight by giving me a tool to eat less.

Sigh....

8-26-04:
Yesterday, I had my Psych Consult with Dr. Haugh. She was pretty nice and makes you feel pretty comfortable. I had 1 disappointment: she didn't have a long black couch that I could lay on while she listened to me. I had to sit on a regular couch.

My interview was pretty long -- 2 1/2 hours. She had a big long sheet that we went over. Dieting & weight history, exercise history, my childhood, my extended family's health history, my job, my hobbies...lots of stuff.

Then I took that MMPI test. I made the mistake of telling her that I looked up the test to see what it was about. She thought that was odd, but oh well. I hope she doesn't think that I tried to throw it or anything. It wasn't hard -- 567 T/F questions. Some of the statements were worded differently, so you had to think before you answered. The questions ranged from "I think someone is out to get me" to "I am satisfied with my sex life" to "I know who is causing all my problems" to "If I were a reporter, I'd like to cover current events" and "I'd like to be a mechanic". Things that make you go hmmm.....

Then I went to Methodist to have my ABG test done. The lab tech that took the blood couldn't find my artery. He stuck the needle in and then had to dig for it. Not so fun. I give blood all the time and I can donate in under 4 minutes, which is about 1/2 the normal time. But, for the ABG test, they take your blood from the wrist since that's where the artery is. Didn't hurt much, not even when he was digging, but geesh!

I should be getting all my blood tests back soon.

8-28-04:
I am getting a distraction! I've been asked to go on-site to a customer site to do their testing as part of a team for almost 2.5 weeks at the end of September. This is good and bad news. Bad news: I get back on 10/5, and my educational seminar is 10/6. I'd better not have to stay onsite longer! I'll miss 2 weeks of church when I should be there.

The good news is that this will be a good distraction for me. I'm constantly thinking about the surgery, how I will be able to afford it, what changes I need to make, what I need to do next, how my family will react, etc. This will hopefully allow me to focus on something work related as I'll probably be putting in really long hours while I am there.

8/30/04:
Because of my upcoming travel plans, I begged Dr. Someone's office to let me go to the September 1st seminar. They said yes! I'll have to miss Registration Night at church this Wednesday, but at least things are happening a little bit faster.

I would like to be able to schedule my surgery for November, around Thanksgiving time. Of course, Thanksgiving won't be much fun that way! Scheduling it then will be good for my work schedule (not many people are around here during the holidays anyway), my family (my brother will be back in town from college) and finances(I'd like to get it all done this fiscal year to maximize tax implications).

So....here we go!


9/02/04:
I had the Education Seminar last night. Pretty much scared my mom out of her wits, I think. She thinks that the RNY would be a better procedure for me. It's for sure true that I would lose weight ALOT faster that way, but it has it's share of problems too. It's more risky, but more popular.

My surgeon said that LapBand patients can expect to lose 45% of their excess weight. For me, that's not enough. RNY goes up to about 80% of excess weight. BUT...I've talked to several people on the message boards that have the LapBand and have lost almost all their weight--they're not even that far out after their surgery, so they'll lose more too. The KEY to LapBand as a WLS is that it totally dependent on the individual's motivation. With the LapBand opposed to RNY, people have to excerise alot more, control their food alot more. With the RNY, you can eat pretty much anything (except for high calorie liquids and within reason) and you'll still lose weight.

Here's how the RNY works:
The stomach is cut into a small pouch (about the size of a golf ball--same as with LapBand, but LapBand doesn't have cuts).
Then the intestines are cut (about 2 feet off of it) and attached to the stomach.
This surgery has 2 benefits: the small pouch makes you feel full just like the LapBand. Plus, anything that does go into your intestines won't be fully absorbed. Instead of 100% of the calories and fat grams being absorbed by your body, maybe 50% of them will be.

People with RNY have great results and lose weight pretty quickly. Most of the weight that they'll lose is within the first 18months, which is encouraging to people that are dieting. They are seeing results right away. With the LapBand, it might take 2-4 years before all the weight is lost. You'll still deal with controlling your eating and exercising forever though.


9/3/04:
I had the Educational Seminar last night. While I was there, I turned in all my paper work. There were 2 packets to fill out. The first one was information about me--name, address, insurance information, emergency contact. The second one was more involved--diet history, weight loss history, tons of medical questions--how do you sleep, endocrine problems, skin problems, cancer history, pretty much everything you can imagine.

I was instructed that since I am a self-pay (insurance won't cover it), to write "self-pay" at the top. I've heard from several people that self-pay people get faster attention. Well, sure enough, the surgeon's office called me at work today. My initial consult was November 11th, which is over 2 months away! Now, it's September 16th! Just in 2 weeks time.

My initial reaction (my mom's too) is that it seems that it's all going so fast. But, I realized now that it's a good thing. I'll be able to talk to the surgeon sooner and find out if this is possible for me. I don't have to schedule the surgery until I am ready, but I can get some plans started and find out where I am with all of this.

Everything is beginning!

10/21/04:
I can't believe I haven't posted in so long! Okay, I can believe it, but still feel bad about it.

My mom and I went to the Surgeon consult on 9/16 and it was pretty informative -- not really informative about the procedure since we'd already been to the Educational Seminar. But, we got to meet Dr. Someone one-on-one (well, one-on-two). My mom had some tough questions for him about why he left Methodist Hospital to come to Creighton (answer: he really feels that Creighton was dedicated to the program more and has better facilities), what his success rate is (as far as % of weight lost). Then we met with his dietician, Krystin, who went over some basic nutritional information about what my diet would look like post-op.

It was stressed to me that the Lap Band requires MUCH more self-discipline to be successful than the RNY procedure does. That scared me. Obviously, at the weight that I am, my self-discipline skills aren't too high. I don't make myself do the things my body doesn't want to do. My body doesn't want to exercise and I don't make it. My body doesn't want to eat healthy, so I don't make it.

Since I am self-pay and the LapBand is cheaper (among other positives -- see previous posts), I really want to develop the self-discipline needed to make that solution work. Soon after my meeting with Dr. Someone, I headed off to Florida (and Hurricane Jeanne!) for work for 2.5 weeks, which gave my mom and I plenty of time to think about this since I couldn't do much from Florida anyway!

10/29/04:
I got back from an oh-so-wonderful trip to Florida (really thick sarcasm there) beginning on October. On Friday, October 8, I did something wild -- I joined a gym! It's 2 minutes (tops) from my house. On Saturday, October 9, I did something unheard of for me -- I went to the gym and worked out! Did the same thing the following Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, etc. In the past 21 days, I've been to the gym 18 times!!

I started a new tradition--every time I go to the gym, I put a little star sticker on that date on my calendar. It's so encouraging to see all those stars. I know it sounds like something a little kid would need to keep motivated, but it's worked so well for me. In fact, tonight, after a wedding, I went to the gym and lifted weights and did the treadmill just so I could get my sticker. It would've been easy to just go home, put on my PJs, pop in a movie and go to sleep. But I went home, got on my sweats, lifted weights and did the treadmill.

After my surgery consult, my mom told me that her fear is the surgery itself. The actual procedure and any complications from it. She, as a mother, would rather see me weigh 500 pounds and be alive than to die having the surgery. I know, at my current weight, I don't want to live this way. That doesn't mean that I want to die--far from it. I want to solve this weight issue. In 5 years, I want to be able to look back on this time in my life and know that being MORBIDLY OBESE was just a PHASE, just a PORTION, of my life and it wasn't the beginning of an overweight life.

My main (and only) hesitation with this surgery is whether I can be successful at it. Can I do it? Can I follow the restrictions? Can I lose the weight and keep it off? Honestly, I don't know how well I can handle going through this surgery and not lose much weight and to not be healthy. I also can't do this to lose only 40 pounds -- the majority of my excess weight needs to come off. So, in order for me to go through with the surgery, I had to prove to myself that I could be successful at it. I developed some self-discipline! The gym was the first place to start. I made mini goals; my goal the first week was to just GO and I did!

Obviously, going the gym 18 times didn't make this a life-long habit. 20 years from now, I might not being going to the gym. But, then again, in 20 years I might be going to the gym still...that's more than I thought I'd be able to say 3 weeks ago.

10/30/04:
Since I've proven to myself that I can be self-disciplined, I've decided to go for the LapBand surgery! I called Dr. Someone's office Wednesday to find out what the next step is. I already had a general consultation (round II) scheduled for 11/3, but I don't really need that. Since all my blood work and tests are done (including Psych Consult), the next 2 steps are to submit the paperwork to insurance (expecting to be denied) and schedule a formal nutrition appointment with Krystin. We got that scheduled for 11/4. Assuming she gives me the A-OK, we can schedule the surgery.

The coordinator said that the surgery could even happen this year, assuming that's what I want. I am not sure when I want it yet -- there's a possibility that I need to go back to Florida the beginning of December for 2 weeks, but I could do a surgery date of mid-December. That's ideal for me as I won't have to miss many Wednesday night church meetings since we're off for the holidays and work is usually slower during the holiday season.

In the meantime, I'll take it 1 step at a time and deal with the details as they come along!

11/05/04:
I had my appointment with the nutritionist, Kristyn, today. It went pretty well. The first thing I did was get lost. I knew ABOUT where Creighton University was, but somehow I got lost. I was dumb and didn't take the interstate which will take you right to Creighton. But, I got there. I met with Kristyn for about 30 minutes or so. She handed me my future stomach -- a little medicine cup that holds 1 ounce. 1 ounce!!! Imagine 1 ounce, if you will -- 1/20 of a 20 oz pop, 1/16 of a cup, a corner of a steak, 1 ounce!!!

Then we went over what my diet will look like post-op. The first 4 weeks after surgery it's pure liquids -- and mostly clear liquids at that, but I can have creamed soups (like Cream of Mushroom without the mushrooms). Typical foods: broth, water, sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles (a popular choice!), skim milk (if not lactose intolerant -- many patients become so for a little bit after surgery), strained soups (like vegetable beef soup without the vegetables and beef). I also have to have protein drinks -- sugar free Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed with skim milk to get my protein in -- 60 grams is the goal.

After week 4, I can have "mushy" foods -- applesauce, yogurt, creamed soups (keep the mushrooms in the Cream of Mushroom soup!), mashed potatoes, tuna salad (no bread), egg salad, Wendy's chili without the hamburger (very popular), fat free refried beans, eggs.

After week 6, I can have "soft" foods -- lunch meat, but not tougher meats (roast beef or pork can be tough), vegetables, but not "stringy" ones like celery.

After 3 months, it's normal. At this point, I have 2 goals: 64 ounces of water a day, and 60 grams of protein a day. This is when I can start adding in more vegetables and lettuce. It's important to add foods in one at a time in case something doesn't agree with you -- you'll know what it is.

After my appointment with Kristyn, I went back to work. Dr. Someone's office called that afternoon -- we set a surgery date for Monday 12/20. I could've had one next week as they had an opening! The 12/20 date is good for several reasons: 1) I won't have to miss any nights of Wednesday night church, 2) I won't have to miss any Toastmasters meetings (I am the president), 3) I'll only have to take off 4 days of work that week since it's Christmas Eve that Friday, 4) my brother will be home from school and I am sure he will ecstatic to help me! and 5) It's normally a slow time at work because of the holidays -- lots of people will be gone and banks don't implement new code (usually) during the holidays.

11/23/04:
27 more days
I got my pre-op packet sometime last week. Nothing too earth-shattering in it.

My surgery is still scheduled for 12/20 at 7:30 AM. I have to be at the hospital by 5:30 AM. So early!! I am glad about the early appointment though. Since the surgery only takes about 1 hour, I should be done by 8:30 (assuming we start on time). I am supposed to stay in the hospital overnight, but I hope I do well enough that I don't have to. I don't know how naive that is. I just don't want to stay there overnight--I haven't been in the hospital since I was 2 years old. I don't really remember that experience, but I have scars to prove I was there!

I go in for my pre-op appointment on 12/15 which is the Wednesday before surgery. I meet with the anesthologist (I think), they do some blood work, then I meet with Dr. Someone and Kristyn (the dietician) one last time. The packet said that they will give me some prescriptions at that time (I think for pain pills and possible antibiotics to prevent any infections).

I do have a pre-op diet the day before. Nothing by mouth after 10:00 p.m. the night before. They also recommend a lite diet the day before -- like toast and simple stuff.

My first post-op visit is 12/27, which is 1 week after surgery. That's when I will get my staples out. MANY people have told me that getting staples out doesn't hurt, but I don't know if I believe them. How can it NOT hurt!?!? Cortney (my roommate) reminded me that they aren't like the staples people use on paper -- they don't wrap around like that. But still.......

So...things are in process. I got the time off from work; I am just taking that week (4 days since Christmas is that Friday). Looks like Christmas will be a liquid diet for me! At least I'll be able to have some of my mom's chili on Christmas Eve -- minus the beans and hamburger of course--chili broth!? We'll see, won't we!?

12/16/04:
4 more sleeps
Just 4 more sleeps until my surgery on Monday. I thought I had picked a good date for my work schedule, but it's gotten so busy!!! That's what you get when you try to anticipate things.

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday, Wednesday 12/15. Piece of cake. I arrived early and I was finished by the time my last appointment was supposed to start! I had to visit Respitory, where they gave me a breating machine that I'll use after surgery. I don't know the name of it, but you put it in your mouth, breathe in and the little ball thingy in it goes up.

Then I had to visit with Anesthesiology, where a lady asked me lots of questions. I couldn't remember how well I did under anesthesia when I was 2, so we didn't have much to go on. Guess we'll find out.

Then I had an appointment with Dr. Someone's office. I actually met with his Fellow (apparently, it's a doctor who is past his residency and not just another name for a GUY), Dr. Lambert. He went over the risks again, had me sign some papers, give an emergency contact, gave me prescriptions to get filled; just some general stuff. Then Dr. Someone came in for all of 30 seconds. That was it! The sent me on my way.

The most painful part of yesterday was paying! I had to pay for my surgery with cashier's checks that I got from the bank -- $13,361.00 in total yesterday. Add that to the other things I've already paid for (psych consult, labs, and dr's appoints) and I think my total is around $14,000.

So...4 more sleeps then I wake up and go! What will fill my time, you ask? Well, tonight is the finale of The Apprentice. Friday night I am hanging with my brother, sister, and brother-in-law. Saturday I have church stuff most of the morning. Saturday night we're having Christmas dinner with family friends at my sister's apartment. Sunday will be spent in the bathroom (pre-op bowel prep). Monday morning, I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM!

Here we go!

12/19/04:
I drank my bowel prep stuff at 11:30 this morining. IT SUCKED. But not as bad as I thought it would.

I had refrigerated mine, so I don't know if that made it better or worse. It was nasty tasting (cherry flavored my butt!), so I just chugged it in 3 doses. Then I washed my mouth out with water to get rid of the taste. Then I brushed my teeth and chugged 12 ounces of water.

After I finished it, my roommate (an RN) told me to mix it with 7-Up. nice to know after...

Anyway, the results of it haven't been too bad. I've gone to the bathroom once. I don't feel too bad--I've been able to clean and pack with no issues.

My brother will be coming to pick me up shortly--I am going to spend the week at my mom's house and since we have to be at Creighton by 5:30 tomorrow morning, I'll spend the night at her house tonight.

I'll post when I get home from the hospital!

12/23/04:
We got to Creighton a little after 5:30 and went to register. Then they took me upstairs to the surgery registration area where I changed into a gown and then they started an IV. They also gave me a "calming"/"anti-nervousness" pill. I wasn't feeling nervous at the time, so I don't know if that helped or hurt any!

I had 2 Anesthesiologists. One lady was 50 or so and came in and told me "I've been doing this for 2 weeks and I am getting quite good at it." The other guy was probably 70 and told me he had just bought "Anesthesia for Dummies", so he was ready too. My mom didn't appreciate their humor as much as I did.

My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 AM and sure, enough, at 7:30, they rolled me in to the Operating Room. That's a scary place! Big white room with lights on the ceiling. Lots of nurses there in their gowns and masks. They put you on this bed with your arms spread out. It kind of reminds me of the cross position. Then they belted me onto the table, to make sure I didn't shift during surgery. The last thing I remember them doing is putting leg-warmer type things on my legs. They are compression stockings and they squeeze in and out to prevent blood clots.

By far the worst part of this all is the anesthesia...made me so groggy and tired. Monday night, I'd sleep for 1/2 hour, wake up, fall back asleep, wake up...it was a vicious cycle! I got home Tuesday around 3:00 or so. My incisions look good -- hurt a little bit, but it's certainly tolerable. All I am taking for pain at home is Children's Tylenol (because it comes in liquid form). At the hospital, I had morphine, which took care of the pain quite nicely.

Water is going down well so far -- just sips. Had juice at the hospital (a whopping 2 ounces maybe). So...so far, so good. Yesterday (Wednesday), I started on my 6-week liquid diet (YES, the surgeon put me at a 6 week liquid diet instead of 4 weeks -- ergh!) and that went well. It takes me about 20 minutes or so to get down 4 ounces of the CIB (low-carb Carnation Instant Breakfast with 1 cup Skim Milk and 1/3 cup powdered milk -- 20 grams of protein!). So far, I don't feel like eating anything, but I know that will probably change as I get further down this path.

So far, so good!

12/28/04:
I miss food!
Drinking only liquids leaves you with lots of time to think. Especially now that I am back to work and don't have the holidays to distract me.

I've come to the conclusion that there are 2 things I like about food:
1) Quality. The taste of food. I miss that. I wake up craving things that I can't and won't have. I'll be at the supermarket, see something and be tempted to put it in my cart. It's obviously not a liquid. I am convinced that 1/2 of all commercials on TV are food-related.
2) Quantity. I don't just a taste of a chicken enchilada from Fernandos. I want a #5 combo -- 2 enchiladas, rice & beans with a Pepsi to wash it down.

There is good news in all of this. I've made some important realizations about myself.
1) Liquids-only is for 6 weeks. 1 1/2 months -- that's nothing compared to the 25+ years I've spent eating MY way.
2) Eventually, I'll be able to have QUALITY again. It's not like I signed up for a life-time ban on chicken enchiladas, steak, or pizza.
3) I won't be able to have the QUANTITY that I miss. That's how I got into this situation in the first place. If I had to chose between QUALITY and QUANTITY, I chose QUALITY. In the meantime, I am pretending my Carnation Instant Breakfast drinks are frosties from Wendy's.

1/07/05:
I'll be 3 weeks out on Monday and things are going okay. I estimate that I am down about 18 pounds. I am consistently losing about 1 pound/day, sometimes every other day. Unfortunately, I got sick of liquids, so I called my nutrionist and asked if I could do "mushies". She said I could for 1 meal a day, but to keep up with the Carnation Instant Breakfast drinks for the other 2 meals. So...now I can have anything except bread, pasta, tough meats (could do deli-sliced ham or turkey if I wanted) and raw veggies.

I wish this whole liquids only thing was easier for me. IT'S SO TOUGH! I know that's why I am losing weight like I am, but I want to eat. But, I can't figure out what I want to eat!

Ack! It's a battle. I will win the battle....but I gotta fight for it.

1/21/05
I am just 2 days away from being 5 weeks out...and my weight is holding steady at about 25 pounds down. This past week, I think I've lost/gained the same pound over and over. I've heard that's pretty common to do though.

The liquid diet is becoming easier. I think weeks 2 & 3 were the toughest. You are mostly healed from the surgery, but you aren't used to all liquids yet. Now that it's been almost 5 weeks, liquids are becoming a habit. I make my 3 Carnation Instant Breakfast drinks every night and package them in 4 ounce containers for the next day. That way, I have no excuses -- I just grab the sack of them and take it to work. My family bought me a dorm-sized refrigerator for Christmas that I am taking advantage of -- it stores my CIB drinks and about 6 bottles of water. No excuses!

I've started back to the gym and it's not too bad...I can't start lifting yet (week 6 I can), but the treadmill is going great. Took me about 2 work outs to get back to the speed and length that I was before surgery even though I took over a month off. Course, it's easier to exercise when you are 25 pounds lighter, so that helped.

Even though I am down 25 pounds, I haven't really gone down a size at least in pants. I have shirts that are definitely looser, but my pants now FIT instead of being too tight. I have to keep reminding myself that by the time I lose the 124 more pounds that I want to, I am guaranteed to go down a size!


1/21/05
Someone had asked how to survive the 4 weeks post-op liquid diet she had to do...I really liked my response, so I am posting it in case it helps anyone else:
Personally, I think weeks 2 and 3 of the liquid diet were the toughest (I am almost done with my 6 weeks of liquids). You were recovered from surgery, but liquids hadn't become a habit yet.

I told myself, when I was tempted to eat something: "Will this hurt or help my weight loss?" If it hurts (basically, if it wasn't liquid), I didn't have it.

I told myself that I would give the Lap Band 1 year of my life. If I didn't like the results, I can always go back to the way of eating that I did the first 25 years of my life. Considering that I am already down 26 lbs at 5.5 weeks out, that won't happen. I am banded for life and will work this thing! Sure, I cheated a couple of times weeks 2 & 3, but I really wish I wouldn't have....I was only cheating myself.

What I did when I wanted to eat: did something else. I've spent LOTS of time on this message board. I've started watching more movies in my bedroom as you can see the kitchen from my living room and you can't in my bedroom. I've gone back the gym -- as long as I got music in my headphones and a magazine, I can go for 30-45 minutes with no issues.

I've removed all the unhealthy food from my house. All that's left is liquids. That way, if I get a craving, all I got to choose from is liquids.

I've had hunger after being banded, but really, it's no big deal to me. I can't remember what it was like to be hungry before, but now, I just feel my tummy rumble, know that I am hungry and drink water (or sugar-free Kool-Aid!)

1/31/05
"Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin FEELS"
I've heard this quote for quite a while...never really helped me any. Honestly, I don't know what it's like to be thin! So....that saying might help me when I get to THIN.

My 6-weeks of liquids is OVER! And I am scared that I will 1) stop losing or 2) start gaining. But I've decided that I have control over that. Just because I don't have restriction (I think I have some compared to pre-op, but not enough for the band to be working full speed), doesn't give myself a license to eat what I want, when I want, how I want.

So...I've come up with my own test. When going to eat something I will ask myself: "Will this hurt or help my weightloss?" If it won't help my weightloss, then I ain't gonna eat it. (At least that's my goal ).

Now that I am off liquids, it's going to be alot tougher to make healthy choices. I went to a buffett last night (had to -- church function). I could've had the ice cream, the heavy soups, the nachos, the sodas/fruity drinks, the whatever-I-wanted. What did I pick? A chicken breast and mashed potatoes. I did splurge and have a little gravy though. BUT...I didn't drink with my meal. No one there knows I have the Lap Band and they didn't care. No one paid attention to how I ate; they were so busy thinking about what they were going to eat. I think they just enjoyed my company!

My new mantra: "I want to be thin MORE than I want to eat that." (applies to anything that won't help me lose weight).

2/03/05
Okay, I had my 6 week appointment today with my surgeon. It's really been 6 weeks and 3 days, but who's counting? :-) Everything went fine. The first thing I had to do was to weigh myself. I was kind of nervous about this because I didn't know if my scale was showing different than his. I was so nervous about it that I made sure I didn't drink my usual 32 ounces of water that I do in the morning -- I didn't want that extra water to make me heavier!

Turns out, I didn't need to worry. I think our scales are the same -- except that, at home, I weigh in the morning and without clothes on. I definitely had my clothes on at the surgeon's office. According to his scale, I have officially lost....drumroll please....32.5 pounds! That averages to be 5 pounds a week. I won't continue at that rate since I can now eat real food instead of liquids, but I hope to continue losing 3 pounds a week.

Since I've lost the 32 pounds, I have 116 pounds to go until my goal. If I lose at 3 pounds a week, the weight will be GONE in 39 weeks, which isn't even a full year away! Since I know there will be weeks were I won't lose 3 pounds a week (hey! stuff happens), my goal is to be done by the end of this year. IF I can do that, it will mean losing 148 pounds in 12 months. That's just fantastic! Alot of work, but fantastic!

After weighing in, I met with one of his fellows (not just a fancy name for a guy, but a real doctor), Dr. Lambert. We went over some stuff. Taking your vitamins? Yup. Any heartburn? Nope. Feel hungry ever? Not Really. Working out? 5-6 times a week for 45-50 minutes. Any pain or soreness? Nope.

Since I am losing so well, they didn't fill the band any. There are a few people that have the Lap Band that have "restriction" (the ability to eat enough to not be hungry and still lose weight) without getting the band filled. I hope to be one of those! Some of those people eventually do have to get a fill as they lose more and more weight, but they do quite well without a fill.

Then I met with my surgeon, Dr. Someone. It was more of the same questions. Taking your vitamins? Yup. Any heartburn? Nope. Feel hungry ever? Not Really. Working out? 5-6 times a week for 45-50 minutes. Any pain or soreness? Nope. He told me that as I start eating solids and if I begin to feel that I don't have restriction to call in and ask for an appointment for a fill. Other than that, he'd see me in 6 more weeks at my 3 month appointment.

As I was leaving, Dr. Someone stopped me -- "How's your mom? Is she feeling better about this?" Yup, I think so. "Is she happy with the results?" I think so! So...mom....I told Dr. Someone that you were feeling better about this! And I definitely hope you are happy about the results!

2/20/05
Today is the 2 month "anniversary" of getting my LapBand. I am down about 41-42 pounds. Since it's been 9 weeks, I am averaging about 4.5 pounds a week. 6 weeks out, I was averaging a little more a week, but I am definitely ecstatic with an average of 4.5 pounds a week!

Weight-wise, I've said goodbye to the 280s, 270s, 260s, 250s and now I am 1/2 way through the 240s! Can't beat that!

I had originally set a goal weight of 140, but now I am thinking that might too low. I had picked 140 because that would make my BMI in the normal range (as opposed to the MORBIDLY OBESE category I started in). But, I must've done fuzzy math that day, because 150 makes my BMI normal. So, for sure, I will go down to 150 and take it from there. That means that I have less than 100 pounds to go. I know it's still a lot, but when I started this process I had 138-148 pounds to lose, which seemed so daunting to me!

I've gone down 2 sizes in pants and probably that in shirts. Shirts are easier to wear bigger sizes than pants are, so I haven't had to buy any new shirts. Instead, I am now fitting into old shirts that I haven't been able to wear in a while!

I still haven't had a fill in my band yet. This honestly confuses me. Before I was banded, I knew that I'd have struggles getting restriction like most other people. Most people get the band, then start the process 6-8 weeks later of filling the band up until they get to a point where they are restricted enough to lose weight. For me, I don't need a fill. That's amazing. I'm either one of the very few that have good restriction with just the band or I've been making good choices. I think it's a combination of the two. I will probably need a fill in the future since I've heard that as you lose weight, you usually need a fill to make the band tighter around the stomach. We'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Some of the best news: I had blood work done on Friday. My cholesterol has dropped in at least half! It was over 300, now it's at 156...which is great for ANYONE! My liver enzymes (which were almost 2 times normal before surgery) are still high, but not nearly as high as they were. We're still waiting for my vitamin levels to come back, but I don't anticipate any issues. How's that for 2 months out!?

I think a lot of my success can be attributed to the 6 weeks of liquids that my surgeon made me do. I lost more weight than normal banded people because I had to do liquids for so long. It was TOUGH! It was worth it! I think because of the liquids, I learned new habit about foods. I realized that it isn't as satisfying to me now as it was before. That's okay. That's great actually. I consider it my own little mini-rehab for my addiction to food.

So....in summary, my life is great! How is yours?

3/5/05
As of today, I am down 52(ish) pounds, give or take a pound, depending on the scale (mine or my doctors). Since my goal is to lose between 140-150 pounds total, that puts me 1/3 of the way done (at least!).

I'm 2 1/2 months out (it'll be 3 months out on March 20th). It's really been almost 11 weeks, so overall I am averaging 4.7 pounds a week, which is incredible and I never thought it would happen! It does seem that I have a cycle to my losing: I lose 1+ pounds a day for 3-4 days, then really minimal the rest of the week. And about every 3-4 weeks, I don't lose much for one week. I think it's my body getting a breather from working so hard!

I am at the gym 5-6 times a week. I am up to 60 minutes of cardio on the treadmill (50 minutes at 3.4 mph with 1.5% incline and 10 minutes of cool down). I really should start lifting weights again, but I am afraid that I'll stop losing as quickly as I have been. I *know* I shouldn't worry about that becuase even if my weight loss cuts in 1/2, I'm doing really well...but still....

I eat pretty normally. Example: last night my roommate and I went to dinner. I had 1/2 my salad and maybe 1/3 of my chicken parmesean. Before surgery, I'd have lots of the salad, most of my chicken parmesean, 4-5 pieces of bread (Grisanti's), and 2-3 Pepsis with it. Today for lunch, I had 1/3 can of tuna with a little mayo and pickles on 1 slice of whole wheat bread and I had carrots. Before surgery? Don't come near me with only whole wheat bread!

What a transformation!

3/12/05
I am down 57 pounds (on my scale). Since I want to lose 138 pounds total, I am about 41% done. When I think of it that way, I get pretty encouraged. When I remind myself how far I still have to go, then I get a little discouraged. I am working on reminding myself that this is a day-by-day battle and life style change that I am making. It will take time.

I am still working out 6 times a week, which I am sure helps. I think it's time for a fill--not sure yet though. I am still losing, but as of about a week ago, I've noticed that I can eat more than I was able to and I am not staying full for nearly as long as I was. However, I am still making good choices and eating good portion sizes, so the weight is still coming off.

I have my 3 month appointment next week on 3/24, so I have the opportunity to tell my surgeon that I want a fill. I might not get one yet. As long as I keep making the good choices and keep losing, I think I'll hold off. I am self-pay and don't know how much a fill will cost me. I also want to give myself the time to make good choices as the ability to make good choices is more important than my fill level. I'll keep you posted!


3/20/05
Today is my 3 month anniversary of having the LapBand put in. I am unofficially down 59 pounds. I had hoped to be at an even 60 pounds down by today, but I will have to settle for 59 pounds. I have my 3 month post-op appointment with my surgeon on Thursday, so we'll see what his scale says. His scale is the one that really matters.

Everything has been going well until Tuesday of last week. I started having pain where my waist is, near my belly button. On Tuesday, I went in to see my internist (well, a nurse practioner in her office). She scheduled a CT Scan for the next day. All my organs looked good (we suspected it was the gallbladder that was causing the pain). They could see where the pain was coming from. The area around my port was inflamed. They're not sure why, but they don't deal with LapBands that often. So, tomorrow, I will call my surgeon and see what he recommends. In the meantime, I am on Tylenol for the pain - it helps some, but doesn't stop all the pain.

In case you aren't familiar with the port, I found a great website that has information about it. I recommend watching the second video on this page, which deals with the port and how it's used to give adjustments/fills.http://www.spotlighthealth.com/morbid_obesity/lap_band/procedure/procedure_mechanics.html
Lately, my weight loss has slowed down to about 2 pounds a week, which is supposed to be the goal weight loss rate. I can eat more than I could before. That's not such a big deal since most of the time I chose not to eat more; the bigger issue is that I don't stay as full as long as I did before. So, I feel hungry more often. I think it'll be time for a fill soon, but I am going to wait a while until the port pain issue has been dealt with. Then we'll see!

I'll update again after I've spoken with the surgeon. Stay tuned for details!

3/21/05
I called my surgeon's office today and talked with my surgeon's nurse. I told her that I had some pain that my internist thought was related to my port. I was willing to wait until Thursday (my already scheduled 3 month appointment). if it wasn't that big of a deal. She called me back in the afternoon and said that Dr. Someone was out of surgery and said he wanted to see me today.

So, I went at 3:00 to see Dr. Someone. Good news: It's not my port. Bad news: It's a hernia. He says there isn't much they can do unless it becomes painful enough that I want to have it repaired. I am NOT ready for another surgery and the pain isn't THAT bad, so I will live with it for a while. It doesn't seem to bother me much when standing anymore - just when making sudden movements and sometimes when sleeping. If surgery is the cure, then, at this pain level, I am willing to wait to have surgery for a while! Last time I had surgery, I lost 60 pounds! Just kidding....

I am very happy that nothing is wrong with the band -- when the time comes, insurance will pay for a hernia repair; they won't pay to fix the band.

4/13/05
This is kind of long, so if you want an overview, see the "short summary" section at the bottom.

I've been banded for 16 weeks now and had my first "fill"/"adjustment" yesterday. Most people get a fill at 6 weeks out (once they've moved onto solids), but I was very blessed to be restricted enough with just the band, so I didn't need an adjustment until now. According to my scale, I've lost 67 pounds! According to the dr's scale yesterday, I've lost 63 lbs in those 16 weeks, which is still averaging 4+ pounds a week OVER ALL. My current weight loss is about 2 - 2.5 lbs a week. I couldn't be more thrilled! So, why did I get a fill, you ask? Simply put: I was able to eat more than I wanted to be able to. My restriction was mostly gone (that can happen as you lose weight -- the band isn't as tight around the stomach). I was still losing weight well because I was sticking with the right portions and the right foods -- at least 90% of the time! :-) But the problem was that I was getting hungry alot faster, so for hours a day, I was hungry when I didn't really want to be.

The band I have holds up to 4 CCs and the doctor put in 1 CC, which is a very typical first fill amount. For some people, this amount of fill doesn't really help them either -- it's a guessing game. Everyone is different. So they give you 1 CC and then you see how that works. If it's not good enough, they can always give you more later.

Here's my first fill experience:
I got to the doctor's office late. I had a 1:45 PM appointment with a 2:00 PM appointment in radiology (in case they couldn't do the fill by just feeling for the port and needed to see the port on x-ray). It was raining hard yesterday and there were no parking spaces in the lot. I had to park 2 blocks away and walk to the hospital -- not a big deal, but I didn't budget my time for the rain or the walk!

I got into the office and they got me right in. Dr. Someone's fellow, Dr. Lambert, came in and told me that Dr. Someone wasn't there -- he had a gas leak at his house! He gave me the options of 1) coming back at another time to do the fill, 2) waiting until Dr. Someone got back that day to do the fill or 3) letting him (Dr. Lambert) do the fill. Dr. Lambert told me that he hadn't ever done a fill before, but had seen Dr. Someone do them both in the office and in radiology. I decided to let Dr. Lambert do the fill....if he couldn't do it, then no harm done and I'd just have to come back anyway!

That decided, Dr. Lambert paged Dr. Someone and told him that I had agreed to Dr. Lambert doing the fill and Dr. Someone was fine with that, so we got started. He told me that I could have local anesthetic if I wanted -- it would numb the area, so I wouldn't feel the fill needle going in. However, the anesthetic burns and I would feel that needle! So I had 2 choices: 1) a stick and a burn with the anesthetic, then nothing for the fill OR 2) a stick with the fill needle. I went for option 2-- no local anesthetic. I figured if they gave you that option in the first place, the pain can't be THAT bad, right? Plus, I donate plasma and those needles are bigger, but still aren't so bad.

But I digress...he told me that he would put in 1 CC. I laid on the table and he felt for the port and found it with no problem. He had me do a partial sit-up, so that the port moved up a little bit. Then he swabbed some cleaning solution (iodine?) over where the port was and put the needle in! It did hurt a little more than just having blood drawn, but not much more. He must not have gotten into the port as he liked to, because he took the needle out. Then he felt some more, and stuck it back in. This time he got it and pushed the saline in. That felt like some pressure -- kind of like someone poking me hard, but certainly not much pain.

Then he handed me a cup of water and I had to drink it all -- maybe 4 ounces worth? It went down fine with no issues, so he took the needle out, cleaned up the iodine, and put on a band-aid. That was it.

He told me that I had to go on liquids for 1 week, which is what they typically do after fills. BUT--I am leaving town on next Wednesday, so if I did a full week of liquids, my first day back on solids would be my first day out of town. Chances are that I won't have any issues when I go back on solids, but if I do, I don't want to be out of town and unable to eat solids. So, I get to do just 3-4 days of liquids, then go to solids. That way, I'll know if I need an "un-fill" before I leave town.

Just as we finished, Dr. Someone arrived. He made sure everything was okay (it was). Told me that if I felt that I needed another fill before my next appointment (which is my 6 month appointment - in 2 months), to call and make an appointment. He said the typical 2nd fill amount is another 1 CC, but after that, they go in smaller increments to make sure no one gets too tight.

Sorry this turned out to be so long -- but hey, if you've made it this far, then you must be curious on how my first fill went for me.

SHORT SUMMARY: I've lost 63-67 pounds. Dr. Someone has gas in his house. Got a fill of 1 CC.

5/07/05
I am about 4.5 months out from surgery and the weight loss has REALLY S...L...O...W...E...D down. In fact, in the last month, I think I've maybe lost 1 pound. I am still exercising 6 days a week for an hour of heavy duty cardio and I am still making good eating choices 95% of the time. The fill doesn't seem to have made much of a difference, so I am going in for another one on Wednesday afternoon.

I am 1/2 way done with my weight loss. I want to lose 138 pounds(at a minimum) and I've lost 69. Those 69 pounds have made such a difference though. As my mom says it, I've lost a chin! I can now wear my ring that used to be too tight -- in fact, before long, I think it'll need resizing! In my clothing, I've gone from a size 28 in jeans to a size 20. In shirts, I went from a 26/28 to an 18/20. Even my shoe size went down a size!

I have a mixed way of looking at myself. Occasionally, I'll see my reflection in a mirror and catch myself off guard. Sometimes, I think: wow! I look so much better. But, sometimes, I think "wow -- I have so far to go." I have to constantly remind myself that this is a process. I didn't gain this weight overnight and it surely won't come off overnight.

I didn't think I had any real "before" pictures, but I found one on my hard drive the other night. It isn't at my highest weight (about 10 pounds off), but it is scary. I think for the longest time I was denial about how big I truly was.

I've been asked what happened that made me finally deal with my weight. I don't really know. I wish I would have done this a long time ago -- or at least in time for my sister's wedding last summer. Standing up with her other size 10 bridesmaids just made me feel like such a cow. I hated myself for my weight. It affected (and, really, it still does) everything you do. When people ask why you aren't married or haven't really dated anyone, you give an excuse, but in your mind you know it's because fat=ugly. When you sit in a chair, you pay attention to how snug the chair is on your hips. When you sit at a restraunt, you realize that you're so heavy that your chest is practically on the table. When you stand next to practically anyone, you think of how large you are in comparison. If you have to squeeze by someone, you really judge how wide the gap is...you usually underestimate how big you are and typically, you have to really squeeze to fit. You wonder if people are judging you because of your weight; and you know that some of them are.

This hasn't been an easy process. But the battle hasn't been all physical. 90% of the challenges I face are mental. Learning new ways of eating--what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, how much water and protein to eat, not to drink with meals is a difficult task. My life, in regard to my eating habits, is almost opposite it was before surgery. I exercise 6 times a week, before surgery, I barely got my lawn cut. It's so much easier to exercise when you've lost almost 70 pounds. It's night and day.

I wish that I could have learned the lessons I have learned without having to get the Lap Band. I wish I could have learned (and stuck) to the right things to do. I'll never know why I wasn't able to lose weight before. I know it wasn't will power or laziness -- I wanted to so badly, but it never stuck. I am so grateful for the Lap Band as it's a TOOL that taught me the lessons I've needed to learn.

see ya next time!

5/11/05
Had my second fill today. They weighed like they always do first thing. I've lost 5 pounds since I was in there 1 month ago. My scale shows that I haven't lost anything! I'll have to check my scale again in the morning (when I normally weigh)--maybe a miracle happened between this morning's weigh-in and my weigh-in at the doctor's office. :-)

I am officially down 68 pounds on Dr. Someone's scale. My 5-month anniversary will be in a couple weeks. Not bad for less than 5 months and considering that I didn't think I lost anything in the past month! Dr. Someone was very happy and even the dietician stuck her head in the room and congratulated me!
I am sticking to the bandster portions (for the most part -- eating out makes this difficult at times) and working out for an hour 5-6 times a week. I always eat breakfast now (never used to), I get in at least 100 ounces of water a day and usually hit the 60 grams of protein mark. It's working! Hopefully with this fill I got today (1 CC more for a total of 2 CC), I'll be able to eat less (especially when eating out) and be able to stay full longer.

For my fill, Dr. Someone told me that he would give me 1 more CC for a total of 2 CC. So, he filled a needle with the 1 CC of saline. He found the port and put the needle in (again nothing to numb it -- I didn't need it). This time, the needle had a stopcock on it that allows the liquid to either stay in or for liquid to come out of the port and go back into the needle chamber. So, he took the saline out of the port (measured it at 1 CC which is perfect because that's what was put in a month ago) and then emptied the whole 2 CCs into the band. Again, I drank the cup of water and it all stayed down with no discomfort, so he took the needle out and I went on my way!

My next appointment is at the end of June -- it's my 6 month appointment. If the band is too tight, then I'll call to get in before that, otherwise, I'll see Dr. Someone at the end of June for a regular meeting and a fill if this one isn't enough.

My surgeon's office has his support group meetings on the 2nd Wednesday of each month. Tonight was the first night I was able to go as I usually teach church on Wednesdays. So, I went. Nothing earth shattering happen at the actual meeting -- except I saw a lady there that I know from work. I won't go into details but to say that this woman isn't known for her discreteness. I kind of panicked when I first saw her. I didn't really know how to handle the situation. She's been very public with her surgery; I've told maybe 10 people tops. So, tonight, I sent her an email asking her to not tell anyone. I can only hope that she won't tell anyone. There's not much I can do at this point; the damage is done.

My next milestones: Lose 2 more pounds (then I'll be 50% of the way done) and lose 4 more pounds (then my BMI will be less than 35 -- I'd only be obese!)

So....not much more going on.

5/20/05
Well, today makes 5 months as a bandster! A great 5 months! Some highlights:
1) I am down 75 pounds. Finally earned my pedicure after a 1 month plateau.

2) I've had 2 fills -- up to 2 CCs. I think I am actually a little too tight, but have been giving it some time to see if that's true. I might not really be too tight as I can eat most things, but chicken has been giving me trouble. I've heard from alot of bandsters that chicken isn't well tolerated, so it might be normal.

3) My cholosterol has been cut in almost 1/2. It's at a normal 156 last time I checked (about 3 months ago).

4) My blood pressure is S..L..O..W..L..Y going down -- not fast enough for me, but I'll give it some more time.

5) I've gone down from a size 28 pants to a size 20 (almost an 18). Gone from size 26/28 in shirts to size 18/20.

6) I am way more active in everyday activities. I exercise 5-6 times a week for an hour and have started lifting weights again. Besides that, it isn't a drag to mow the yard or dig up bushes or to lay mulch in my yard. Doesn't bother me anymore! I no longer instantly sweat just by stepping outside.

7) My BMI at the time of surgery was 46.5. Today: 34.4. That's moving from Morbidly Obese to Obese. 28 more pounds and I'll be just Overweight!

Overall, life is good! It's 100% different than it was 5 months ago.

6/22/05
I can't believe it's been 6 months (and 2 days). Almost a year ago, I had decided to start looking into surgery. Now, I am down 81 lbs in 6 months (and 2 days) and couldn't be happier. I have 57 more pounds until my BMI is normal. Not much to say, but to give some advice to others:

1) Eat what your surgeon says when he/she says to. Don't go to solids when they say to be on liquids. You have the rest of your life for that. Easier said than done, I know. When I started to consider my liquid phase (6 weeks!) as a rehab for my food addiction, I began to take